Missing Youth
by brb bbe
Summary: Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They didn't find any blood, or a body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.
1. Chapter I

**Chapter I, Part I** : Where is Charlie Swan?

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. There found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _My youth, my youth is yours,_

 _Trippin' on skies, sippin' waterfalls._

 _My youth, my youth is yours,_

 _Run away now and forevermore._

 _My youth, my youth is yours,_

 _A truth so loud you can't ignore._

 _My youth, my youth, my youth,_

 _My youth is yours._

Troye Sivan - Youth

* * *

 **BELLA**

Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005.

His disappearance was noted eighteen hours after he was last seen. It was his neighbor, Delilah Short, who had made the frantic phone call to the police. It was not fifteen minutes until the street was closed, and the Swan home became a crime scene. People gathered outside the house, consumed by confusion and curiosity and gossiped. Had the Chief been murdered? Had the Chief left town? What happened to Charlie Swan?

It didn't take long until news crews took their spot in front of the white house. The only thing that stopped them from prying further was the yellow tape. They claimed that Charlie Swan, beloved chief of police of Forks, Washington, was missing. Charlie Swan, a man who ate at the lodge every Thursday and went fishing every Saturday morning, was gone.

The people watched with wide eyes as the prim reporters of Seattle described the scene. The reporters said it was gruesome. The reporters said the walls were covered in blood. According to the press, the furniture was overturned, and the framed pictures were smashed.

The simple people of Forks, Washington were divided. All 3,532 inhabitants of the small town had known their chief of police, and now he was missing. Correction: presumed dead. Some whispered that it had been a bear while others claimed that he had been taken. Some thought that he would be back, but others knew that Charlie Swan would never be back.

On the 13th of November, 2005, I was told that my enigmatic father was missing. The man who I saw every summer, and barely spoke to for the rest of the year, had gone missing. My mother was frantic. She ran around the house like a headless chicken, while I listened to the details. Once again, like everything in my life, I resumed the role of the adult. I gave consent to whatever they asked of me, and gave details of insurance. Being the adult was natural for me, and being the child was natural for my mother.

Charlie Swan was a man that played a minor role in my life. He was a shadow of my upbringing – the donor that gave me genetics and gave my mother something that tied her down. Charlie Swan was a barely mentioned faucet of my mothers past, and an invisible player in my present.

When summer came around each year, I would beg my mother to not make me go. I didn't want to spend my time in the cold, vapid air of Forks, Washington. I didn't want to eat at the lodge every Thursday. I didn't want to make small talk for twelve weeks. I didn't want to spend twelve weeks cleaning up my fathers life. For that was what occurred every summer; I would make dinner every night, except Thursdays of course, and the rest of my time would be relegated to figuring out what to do in a town whose main attraction was wood.

I hadn't made the long journey to Forks, Washington that summer.

I had told my father that with my senior year coming, I wouldn't be able to make the trip this year. I had too much to do, I claimed over the phone. Senior year was a big deal, with college applications and overwhelming exams. I had told him that the summer before my last year should be spent preparing. He had been disappointed, of course, but Charlie Swan understood completely. Or at least that's what I assumed, for he was never one to share his emotions. I had promised him that for Christmas, I would come see him.

I hadn't spent a Christmas with my father since I was five.

Now it was too late.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

My mother was a scatterbrained free spirit. She was a chameleon, ever changing and a constant non constant. I had realized this when I was eight after she had forgotten to pick me up from school, for the fourth time that month. I didn't mind it, though, even if it meant that adulthood had been forced on me much earlier than it should have been. I was eighteen by the time I was eight, and at eighteen, I was in my late twenties. But someone had to be the adult, and my mother wasn't going to give her childhood any time soon, so I adapted. It was the smartest thing to do.

I nodded, my teeth gnawing at my bottom lip as I adjusted the strap of my backpack. "Yeah, Mom. I am."

Renee's blue eyes softened as she stared at me, her hand coming to brush a raven curl from my cheek. The simple habit was enough to make me want to run back to our tiny Arizonan house, and abandon my plans. But I couldn't. Charlie needed me. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry you have to do this."

"Someone has to," I muttered, before looking to the flight board."I gotta go, Mom. I'm gonna miss my flight."

Renee bit her lip, nodding as she looked back to where Phil – her new husband – was standing. He had already said his goodbyes, and was giving us a moment of privacy. Phil was younger than my mother – he was closer in age to me than he was to her. It was unnerving, if I was honest with myself, but Renee was happy; happier than she had been before.

With a few more kisses, and parting words, I went off to my gate - not looking back at the mother who was being forcefully separated from her child. At least that's how Renee had described my ultimatum. I knew what I would see if I glanced over my shoulder – I would see something that would make me second guess my decision. My mother would be crying, sobbing most likely, and I would be consumed by guilt. But I had made up my mind. I was going to Forks.

I had decided to go back to Forks, without her, two weeks ago. The moment I had gotten the call that my father was missing, I had made my decision. I knew the only place that would hold answers was the place I had avoided for so long. I was eighteen now – a legal adult. Forks held nothing for me but my father. And if I didn't go there, and figure out what happened to my father, who would?

No one.

Forks is where people go to die.

Or at least that's what I thought.

Unless you were born here, willingly living here was almost unthinkable. And yet here I was, driving down the 101 in a rental car, to the place I had always been forced to come.

The sound of the windscreen wipers echoed through the silence of the car. The rain pattering on the roof of the crappy Mazda they had given me accompanied it. The radio constantly lost signal, so I had given up trying to listen to it ten minutes into the journey. It was strange, really, to watch the forest of green fly by without having my father beside me, asking me if I had cut my hair or not.

I tried to ignore the hole in my chest, aching slightly as I thought of Charlie … my dad. It's not like I had made the decision to come here rashly. It had taken a week of deliberating to know that I needed to come to Forks. Charlie was the only father I had, and would ever have. It didn't mean he was a particularly good, or attentive one, but he was _mine._ And I couldn't just accept his disappearance like my mother had.

Although the news had initially struck my mother with sorrow, and panic, Phil calmed her down quickly. It took two days before my mother sat me down, and told me that the likelihood that my father wasn't ever going to be found was high. That day I had looked at her without the love I usually regarded her with – the love that usually softened my mothers often blunt words didn't work this time. I wouldn't allow it too.

And so I had … lost it. I had thrown a tantrum suitable of a three year old, rather than an eighteen year old. I sobbed, and screamed, and spat, and swore. I wanted her to know how I felt, even if I didn't know myself what I felt. I wondered how someone could just give up on someone they had once loved so quickly. This was the father of her only child – how could she just assume he was dead? Shouldn't we at least _try_ to look for him?

I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the thoughts of my mother. My harebrained, eccentric, ever changing mother was not someone I wanted to dwell on. I loved her, but at this moment, love couldn't protect my thoughts of her from the resentment I felt.

And then, with a sudden urgency, I saw the familiar sign.

"'The city of Forks welcomes you'," I muttered as I saw the faded green of the aged sign. "Please enjoy your stay and don't die, even though Forks is a giant retirement home."

Welcome home, Bella.

I saw the yellow tape before I saw the familiar white slats of my father's house. My breath caught in the back of my throat as I pulled up to the house I was raised in – _my home._

"Dad," I murmured, shaking my head as I got out of the car. Fingering the yellow tape, I felt my chest constrict. "What happened to you?"

I turned back to the car, my hand going to the keys to lock it, when I realized I didn't need to. _I'm in Forks now,_ I thought with a bitter realization. My shitty Mazda would be okay unlocked.

Looking to the deserted street, I ducked under the weathered yellow tape and made my way to the porch. In the driveway sat an ancient red, and rusted truck – my Dad's infamous cruiser nowhere to be seen. Confusion consumed me as I surveyed the truck, wondering if Charlie had changed cars. I squished that thought immediately. Of course he hadn't. Charlie would never give up his cruiser.

The green of the porch had always annoyed me. I had once asked my Dad why he had painted the porch green, when they were surrounded by green _everywhere_. He never answered my question – just provided a shrug and a few muttered words.

That's who Charlie Swan was.

Charlie Swan was liked by all, but known by few. Hell, I didn't even know my own father. I didn't know how he and Mom met, nor did I know what made him laugh, or cry, or what made him … him. To me, and to everyone, it seemed, Charlie Swan was just as enigmatic as he had always been.

Despite the fact that I hadn't been here in eighteen months, I knew Charlie was a man of habit. In the hanging plant at the corner of the porch, there was a key. It had been there for as long as I had been alive. If Charlie Swan was anything, he was a man of habit.

Opening the door, I didn't know what I expected. I had heard what some people said – I had watched all the reports. Charlie Swan's home was supposed to be the scene of a major crime. The reports claimed that some had seen blood on the walls. The reports claimed that Charlie Swans home had been torn apart.

The reports had been wrong.

My father's house was how it always was. No blood on the walls, no carnage. It was completely how it always was. I almost half expected to see my Dad come through the kitchen, a beer in hand and the TV blaring with the Mariners on. I almost expected to have to talk about the weather outside as my Dad settled into his armchair.

I walked into the living room, my hands coming to spy the mantelpiece where the pictures where. I could see then where the damage was. Every picture that Charlie had of me was gone. The wooden frames that held my baby pictures, pictures of middle school graduation, shameful evidence of my puberty, were gone. The few rare pictures Charlie had of us – of him and I – were gone.

The glass coffee table was gone as well. If I analyzed the space where it once sat, I could see tiny shards of glass stuck in the carpet. It must have been smashed. I wondered what happened – if Charlie was sitting in his arm chair and the person that attacked him came through the back door. I wondered if Charlie had been thrown into the coffee table. It had been a wedding gift, I was once told, from my Grandparents.

"What happened here?" I asked myself, shaking my head as I looked at the mantle piece, to the only picture that was left.

It was my Dad, and Billy Black.

I searched my memory for the last time I had seen Billy Black. It had been two summers ago, and Charlie had dragged me down to La Push. He had gone fishing with Billy, and had forced me to hang around the Black house. When we had been driving down there, he had assured me that Jacob would be there.

 _"_ _You remember Jake, don't you?"_ Charlie had asked, his moustache twitching. " _He's grown a lot, I'll tell 'ya that. Kid looks like he's hopped up on some sort of steroids or somethin'. If Sarah was around still I can promise that she wouldn't be too happy about the crowd Jake's hanging with, but what can you do-"_

 _"_ _Don't you have jurisdiction on the Rez, Dad?"_ I had asked, confused as to why he wouldn't do anything about it.

 _"_ _Sure,_ " He had said with a shrug, " _but you know how native councils can be. Don't want no 'pale faces' interfering, especially when it comes to the youth. I've been pretty lenient, but only cause Billy assures me that nothing bad is going on but you know what kids are like, Bells."_

 _"_ _That seems pretty stupid,"_ I had said, only for Charlie to give me a look. " _Don't you think? I mean just because the Rez has a council doesn't mean they're exempt from the law, and if you think some under age kids are shooting up or whatever, you should do something about it. You are the chief, Chief."_

Charlie had smiled, and assured me that it was nothing that he couldn't handle, and just like that, the conversation turned back to fish fry. That's Charlie, for you. In a moment you could have an actual conversation with him, he would divert it back to something unimportant. It was like he didn't want to scare me off, and so he treated me like a porcelain doll to make sure I wouldn't run off.

Like my Mom.

Sometimes I wonder if Charlie had once been more open, and more willing to speak about actual problems with my Mom, but when she had left – taking his only child with her – he had stopped. I wish he hadn't, if that's what actually happened. I wish he actually talked to me.

Turning my attention back to the photo, I wondered why it was the only one that had survived, and all his photos of me had been destroyed. I had so many questions when I came to Forks, and it seemed just being in my childhood home seemed to give me a million more that needed answers.

Should I go to La Push and talk to Billy Black? He had always been a good friend to Charlie – maybe he knew something about it all. Should I go to the police station, to alert them to the fact that I needed to inhabit their crime scene? My chest tightened at the thought of actually living here, in this shrine where my father had lived for most of his life.

"You shouldn't be here."

I whipped around, my eyes wide as I saw three native giants glaring at me. My heart hammered in my chest like a hummingbird in a glass jar as I stared at the three men before me, wondering why they were here. But that question soon died on my lips as I analyzed the menacing beasts before me, whose dark eyes were burning holes into my face.

They didn't seem to hide their distain, whether it be for me or for the fact they thought I was trespassing. I wanted to tell them to get out of my house, as it was _my_ house. But that would be stupid. These men, who towered over me like the giants they were, could easily squish me between their littlest of fingers. They were muscles and height; strength and power wrapped up in the façade of men. They were … something else.

I met the eyes of the leader – the man who asked me that question – and held his charcoal gaze. The eyes that seemed so hateful seemed so familiar in the same moment. I had seen these eyes before. I had looked into these eyes before. I wanted to drop my gaze as soon as I met his eyes – I wanted to crumble beneath the glare and the hatred that was being directed my way. It was then I felt the courage I rarely had flare up within me, and my lips move at their own accord.

"I'm Isabella Swan – _you_ shouldn't be here."

* * *

 **A/N: So ... what do you think? It's the first time I've written something 'Twilight' in a long time. I've already written a lot of this story - 30k words to be exact, and that's just over the past four days. I've never written so much so quickly, so hopefully that means something. Review, fave or follow, please. I would love to hear feedback.**

 **This is Alternate Universe, and the pairing is Jacob/Bella. But even if you don't like that pairing, there will be a lot of Cullen interaction as well, so feel free to stick around. At the moment there are three separate parts to the story, each containing ten chapters, but I think the third part will be around 15 or 20. POV will switch after the first ten chapters. Hope you like it, so please, maybe, review?**


	2. Chapter II

**Part I, Chapter II** : Where is Jacob Black?

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _I am tired of this place,_

 _I hope people change,_

 _I need time to replace what I gave away,_

 _And my hopes, they are high,_

 _I must keep them small,_

 _Though I try to resist I still want it all._

Troye Sivan - Fools

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **"You shouldn't be here."**

 **I whipped around, my eyes wide as I saw three native giants glaring at me. My heart hammered in my chest like a hummingbird in a glass jar as I stared at the three men before me, wondering why they were here. But that question soon died on my lips as I analyzed the menacing beasts before me, whose dark eyes were burning holes into my face.**

 **They didn't seem to hide their distain, whether it be for me or for the fact they thought I was trespassing. I wanted to tell them to get out of my house, as it was _my_ house. But that would be stupid. These men, who towered over me like the giants they were, could easily squish me between their littlest of fingers. They were muscles and height; strength and power wrapped up in the façade of men. They were … something else. **

**I met the eyes of the leader – the man who asked me that question – and held his charcoal gaze. The eyes that seemed so hateful seemed so familiar in the same moment. I had seen these eyes before. I had looked into these eyes before. I wanted to drop my gaze as soon as I met his eyes – I wanted to crumble beneath the glare and the hatred that was being directed my way. It was then I felt the courage I rarely had flare up within me, and my lips move at their own accord.**

 **"I'm Isabella Swan – _you_ shouldn't be here."**

* * *

 **BELLA**

The giants seemed to buckle at that revelation.

"Isabella Swan?" One said, squinting. "You're Bella Swan? Charlie's kid?"

I swallowed my fear, nodding as I ran a hand through my hair. I tried to remind myself that these people shouldn't be making me uncomfortable in my own home. This was my house. This was where I belonged. But as I stared at them – the giants who seemed more than comfortable in my fathers house – I was beginning to squirm.

"Yeah," I said, crossing my arms. "And you're here because?"

"We're here-"

" _You_ shouldn't be here," The leader repeated, his glare hardening as he stared at me. "Why are you here?"

The repetitiveness of his line of questioning was becoming tiring quickly. As I turned to him, ready to snap at him, I was forced to meet his charcoal gaze once more. He stared at me with such intensity, with such _hatred_ , that I almost felt lightheaded under his gaze. I knew people like him – people who thrived on intimidation. Those sorts of people were exactly the type of people I tried to avoid. They were the type of people who didn't get a long with the meek, clumsy _Bella._

Despite my annoyance at his line of questioning, I felt almost obliged to answer it. As the words began to tumble out of my mouth – my reason for being back – I quickly silenced myself. I didn't owe this guy an explanation. He was in _my_ house. I snapped my mouth shut, shaking my head as I narrowed my eyes.

"Why are _you_ here?" I asked. "You do realize you're trespassing, right?"

One of the men chortled. "Trespassing? You're the one who ignored the tape, and broke into a crime scene."

"This is my house," I snapped.

"This is Charlie Swan's house," The leader snapped back.

"My Dad," I said, "or are you forgetting that?"

The leader stared at me, before he too chuckled – a smile spreading across his lips. And yet this wasn't a smile driven by happiness, or amusement. It was a smile driven by sarcasm, and condescending maliciousness. With just one smile, with one chuckle, he belittled my existence.

And then I realized who he was.

"Jacob Black," I said, my eyes widening. "You're Jacob Black, aren't you?"

The smile was all too familiar. When I visited my Dad, and was forced to babysit the younger kid, he was always wearing a smile. Even after his mother died, his smile didn't dissipate in the least. I could remember, clearly _,_ thinking that he needed to go to therapy due to his aversion to anything sad. While being happy, or smiling could be considered healthy, it was unnerving for me. Jacob had lost his mother, and yet he continued to smile. Shouldn't that be considered unhealthy?

Jacob Black had grown up.

When Charlie had brought me down to La Push last summer, he had mentioned that Jacob could be considered a pill popping gym junkie. Okay, it wasn't expressed in those _exact_ words, but he did mention that the Jacob I knew was a different person than the Jacob that he was now. I had expected maybe a growth spurt – that maybe the Jacob I knew would be a few inches taller than before.

He had always been this gangly thing – a spine with long arms and legs and a bright smile that always seemed too blinding. But he had been kind, and sweet, and despite the fact that Charlie had almost always stuck me with him when we went down to La Push, I didn't mind it so much. I could talk to Jacob, even if it meant that I had to endure his constant spouting of positivity.

This man wasn't Jacob.

Jacob was bright, and warm, and everything happy. When I thought of happiness, Jacob's face always came to mind. It wasn't _my_ version of happiness, but I couldn't deny that Jacob Black – the boy that smiled – was what happiness was supposed to be. Happiness was supposed to be warm, and hearty. Happiness was supposed to be what Jacob was.

This man was not Jacob.

This man hated me from the moment he laid his eyes on me. This man spat out his words as if the world had fucked him over, and owed him something. This man looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. This man looked like a person who had seen death. This man looked like a person who had seen horror, and violence; had seen vengeance, and pride.

Unlike the lanky thing I had seen the last time I had met him, this Jacob had reached peak masculinity. He had to have been 6'6, or maybe even 6'7. Tall, and broad, Jacob resembled a _building._ My eyes analyzed his face, noting how his jawline was sharp and defined, while his nose had thinned. The only things that were the same about Jacob Black were his full lips, and onyx eyes.

His coal eyes narrowed at the sound of his name. The amusement that had sparked in his eyes like the embers in the depths of a fire quickly diminished. It was replaced by hatred. Hatred for me. I swallowed my nervousness, the feel of my heart hammering against the confines of my chest reminding me of my nerves.

But he didn't answer my question.

"You look different," One of the guys said, his eyes squinting again. "You're hair- you- you're not what I thought."

I raised a brow. "Do you know my Dad?"

"What?" He asked, before the other guy nudged him. "Oh, yeah, yeah, I knew Charlie."

Knew.

He had known Charlie.

My chest constricted, and the hole in my chest seemed to explode. Even the Giants thought he was dead. He said he had known Charlie. Past tense. Despite the fact that no body had been found, and no blood had been spilt, these people – these giants – believed the same that many reports alluded to. These men thought my dad was dead.

He wasn't, though. I knew that much.

The decision to come to Forks wasn't to plan a funeral, or a memorial. Renee had suggested that maybe that was the best way to say goodbye, and bring closure, but I just couldn't. I couldn't pretend to know what happened to my Dad – not when we had no evidence. There was no body, and no blood. I closed my eyes, reminding myself of that crucial fact.

 _They haven't found a body. They didn't find any blood. He's still alive._

And that's why I was here.

Jacob watched me with an unnerving curiosity, cocking his head to the side as he analyzed me. He seemed to be watching my reactions to his friends words – waiting for something, anything. And then his analysis was over, and his eyes met mine once more.

"It doesn't matter why she's here," He said, as if to pacify his friends. He took a step forward, showing me his pearly whites as he smiled. "Just know, Isabella, that you won't find what you're looking for. Go back to Arizona, where you belong."

I felt his breath fan out into my face as I flushed as the words tumbled from my mouth. "I'm not scared of you. You can't scare me."

"Good," He murmured, his finger coming to brush a curl out of my face. "There are a lot scarier things than us in the forest."

And just as quickly as they came, they left.

My fingers trembled as I watched them disappear into the shadows of the forest, my breath catching in my throat as I tried to calm myself down. Questions consumed me – what happened to Jacob? Why did Jacob hate me? Jacob knew something about Charlie's disappearance, and yet I knew he wouldn't tell me. But Jacob knew, he knew something about Charlie, and that wasn't something I could just let go of. How did he know that I was here?

There was a knock at the door, and I jumped, placing my hand on my heart. Could I have ten minutes to myself?

Opening the door, I saw a familiar face – once again – and I felt relief settle in me. Deputy James Regan had worked with my dad for as long as I can remember. Like Charlie, he had lived in Forks all his life, but unlike Charlie, Forks had been a bit kinder to Deputy Regan than it had been to him. The man was a little bit older than Charlie, his hair graying slightly as it began to show his age. Laughter lines framed his eyes, and a scruff of white on his chin seemed to make him look older than what he was. He had always been kind to me – had always made sure to include me in conversations, and make sure that I was included.

He was the one who had told me about Charlie. The call was burned in my memory – the way his voice chocked on the words as he tried to tell me what had happened. His constant apologies, and the sound of his voice breaking seemed to echo in my ears at that moment. He was the one who had told me to come back. He was the one who had told me that my Dad needed me.

"Bella, it's nice to see you again," Deputy Regan said, a sympathetic smile on his lips. "I'm just sorry it couldn't be under better circumstances, darlin'. Have you been here long?"

I shook my head, inviting him in. "No, actually, only about half an hour. Um, listen-"

"I'm sorry I couldn't pick you up from the airport, but what with your Dad- I mean, sorry, I just mean that the workload has gone up a little so I-"

"Oh, no, seriously, don't worry about it," I said with a wave of my hand. "I just rented a car, so it was no trouble at all."

"And I'm so sorry about the tape," He said, rubbing the back of his neck. "The guys were meant to get rid of it before you came, but it's been pretty full on at work so …"

"Listen, it's cool," I said, smiling tightly. "Um, but I do have one question? When I got here, Jacob Black and his friends came by-"

"Jacob Black?" He asked, his smile freezing. "He came by?"

I nodded. "Yeah, him and two of his friends."

Deputy Regan shook his head, muttering something beneath his breath. He met my eyes, his face twisted in seriousness. "Bella, when I say that Jacob Black is not good news, believe me. You're father and him had some serious problems before his … before what happened-"

"Before he went missing," I said, nodding. "It's okay, Deputy, you don't have to tip toe around me. My Dad's missing. I know. I came all the way here to figure out what happened. You don't have to be sensitive, I promise."

"Right," Deputy Regan said. "Right, yeah. Well, darlin', if that's what you want, I'll give it to you without any sugar on it. But promise me, Bella, to stay away from Jacob Black. You're father knew how dangerous he, and his gang are. Just look what happened to poor Emily Young."

"Emily Young?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing.

Deputy Regan sighed, his hand coming to his forehead. "Emily Young was a young girl, a little older than you, who came down to La Push around eight months ago. She ended up getting involved with one of those men. Well, lets just say that Emily Young would still be with us if she hadn't ever have gotten involved with that gang. Nothing good comes to young women who hang with those brutes."

"She died?" I gaped, my eyes wide.

Deputy Regan nodded. "A tragedy. She went missing, and a pair of hikers found her. The poor girl had to have her coffin nailed shut."

I wanted to ask what happened to her, the curiosity in me rearing it's ugly head, but I didn't. I didn't ask, because I had a feeling I didn't want to know what happened to Emily Young.

"Do you think that they have anything to do with my Dad?" I asked.

Deputy Regan didn't say much, but he didn't say no. That's all that mattered. "I can't say anything about this investigation, Bella. And you shouldn't spend too much time thinking about it. I know that's hard to do, believe me, but what your Dad would have wanted was for you to focus on school. You're starting Monday, right?"

I wanted to object to his need to want to downplay what was going on with my Dad, but ended up answering his question. "Yeah, Monday. But about my Dad-"

"Bella, I can promise you that the investigation is going as well as it can, but I can't tell you much," He said, his hand coming over mine. "I'm so sorry, darlin'."

"But- but-" I felt my breath catch in the back of my throat as I looked down, feeling tears pool in the depths of my eyes. _No, Bella, you can't cry,_ I told myself, _he's fine. You'll find him._ I took a breath, rubbing my lips together as I tried to calm myself down. "What else do you know?"

And so for the next hour, I was brought up to date.

There were no updates. There was no news. They hadn't found a body. They hadn't found a trail. They hadn't found any blood.

No one can just disappear like this, can they?

"So what you're saying is that he's just gone?" I asked as I sipped on my coffee, needing the warmth. "That one moment he was here, buying fishing gear and just being … Charlie and now he's gone? How can he just disappear?"

"We don't know," Deputy Regan said. "We've ruled out an animal attack. There would have been blood."

"So you think he was …" I stopped myself, closing my eyes as I tried to come up with the words. "Taken? Killed? God, this is just so confusing."

"I'm sorry, Bella," Deputy Regan said, once more, before he looked down to his watch. "Listen, my lunch break is nearly off, but I want to know what you're going to do about money? Or about getting places? You said you rented that Mazda, yeah?"

I nodded. "I've got a week with it. I was thinking, or, well, hoping that maybe someone could drive up with me to Port Angeles and then we could drive back."

"Don't you worry about that," He said with a shake of his head. "My wife and I are heading up to Port Angeles on Saturday, so we'll do that for you."

"No, that's oka-"

"Bella," He said with a smile, "it's okay, really. Marie and I would be happy to do it for you."

I gave him an exhausted smile. "Thanks."

"And I know that you're an adult, now, but how do you expect to get to school after you hand over the mazda?" He asked, cocking a brow. "Obviously we can't allow you access to your fathers accounts – you know we would, Bella, but-"

"No, of course," I said with a shake of my head. "I've been working since I was thirteen, and, well, I was really frugal. I've got a little saved up – enough for a car, and enough to live here by myself for a while. And I shouldn't run out, because we'll find Charlie way before that."

Deputy Regan gave me a tight smile. "Well, you don't need to worry about the car. Charlie has a truck – it's ancient, but he brought it off a friend a long time ago for … for you, Bella."

"For me?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing. "Wait, when did he buy this?"

"I think you were fifteen," He said with a shrug. "I don't really know, Bella, but the key should be around here somewhere."

"But- I- I would have seen the truck," I said, my words tumbling out before I realized the truck outside must be it. But I had never seen it before – I had never seen it in my life. "Where did he keep it?"

Deputy Regan sighed. "Bella, the truck belonged to Billy Black before Charlie brought it. Billy dropped it off a few days before you got here – told me that Charlie was keeping it down there for you if you ever decided to come and stay. I think he- I think he hoped you'd spend your summer here."

I felt guilt consume me as I realized that my Dad – the same Charlie that barely spoke more than a few words here and there – had brought me a carjust because he didn't want me to be in the house, stuck, for the summer. And I had refused to come.

"Shit," I muttered, shaking my head as I stopped myself from succumbing to the guilt that was eating me away.

"The old man probably did it for some other reason as well, Bella," Deputy Regan assured her, smiling. "He always had a few reasons before investing in something."

I laughed. "I think I'm just a crappy daughter, Deputy."

Deputy Regan shook his head, before looking to his watch. "You're here now, Bella. That's all that matters. Listen, I'm sorry, but I've got to get back. I've left all the important numbers you need on the kitchen table, and again, I'm sorry for the tape. I really did think one of the guys-"

"It's fine, really," I said. "I'll take it down today. I've gotta lot of work to do."

Deputy Regan smiled, almost reminiscing. "The Chief always did say you looked after him, Bella. I hope you know that, well, Charlie loved you, very much."

I nodded, smiling. "I know he did. Thank you, Deputy. I'll call you if- if anything comes up."

He nodded. "I'll be here on Saturday morning to pick up the Mazda, Bella."

"Thanks, again," I said, smiling as I followed him to the door.

He nodded, stepping out into the cold air before he turned back around. "And Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Make sure you stay away from Jacob Black, and his little gang," He said. "Nothing good comes from interacting with them. Nothing. Just ask anyone around here."

"I didn't plan to, Deputy," I said as I leant against the door. "Believe me, hanging with Jacob Black was not ever on the table."

Deputy Regan smiled. "Good. You stay safe, Bella, and lock the doors after you, okay?"

"I will," I said, waving him off as he said goodbye.

Closing the door, I locked the deadbolt, my chest tightening as I went over the conversation. I knew few things about Forks, but I knew this for sure – Forks, the town where people came to die, was not as uninteresting as I had once thought.

Quite the opposite, actually.

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **I cocked a brow. "The Cullens? Am I missing some major Forks gossip?"**

 **Jessica laughed, taking control of the conversation. "I guess you could call it major – the Cullen's moved here a few years back. Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted a bunch of foster kids, even though they're like _really_ young-" **

**"How young?" I questioned.**

 **"Late twenties, early thirties, I dunno," Jess said with a shrug of her shoulders. "But god they're young. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper graduated this year, and Emmett and Rosalie, were like, together. So weird."**

* * *

 **A/N: Hi guys! Thanks so much for all your reviews! It's so sweet of you and I really appreciate the fact that you took the time to review my little story!**

 **I just thought I'd let you know that I will be updating every Monday and every Friday from now on! This week doesn't count, obviously, but I will update on Monday and Friday without doubt (unless, of course, you guys review it a billion times and you know, _make_ me update it wink wink nudge nudge.)**

 **Anyways, I hope you have a great rest of the week, and hopefully the preview is enough to make you review, favourite or follow (but reviewing would be much appreciated because I am a glutton for feedback)!**


	3. Chapter III

**Part I, Chapter III** : Who is Edward Cullen?

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _My ghost,_

 _Where'd you go?_

 _I can't find you in the body sleeping next to me,_

 _My ghost,_

 _Where'd you go?_

 _What happened to the soul, that you used, to be?_

Halsey - Ghost

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **"Make sure you stay away from Jacob Black, and his little gang," He said. "Nothing good comes from interacting with them. Nothing. Just ask anyone around here."**

 **"I didn't plan to, Deputy," I said as I leant against the door. "Believe me, hanging with Jacob Black was not ever on the table."**

 **Deputy Regan smiled. "Good. You stay safe, Bella, and lock the doors after you, okay?"**

 **"I will," I said, waving him off as he said goodbye.**

* * *

 **BELLA**

I spent my weekend cleaning.

In the past, whenever I came to the house I was born in, this would be the first thing I would do. I would get out the bleach, the buckets, the mops, and the brooms. I would obsessively scrub the wooden floorboards and vacuum the rooms that had carpet. I would dust the mantle, careful not to knock anything over, before cleaning the pictures. One after another I would spray the glass, before wiping it carefully, from corner to corner.

And then there were the rooms.

Laundry would take a day, easily. I didn't spend much time in Charlie's room, because he kept it pretty clean, and well, it's my Dad's room. I don't want to be weird. But as I opened the door, hit with the familiar smell of peppermint and beer, I felt the hole in my chest gap open. _Dad_ , I thought as I looked around the room, my chest tightening as I surveyed what was left of my Dad.

It looked the same. The same bedding, the same lamp, the same book on the bedside table. I almost laughed at the sight of it. It was an old romance novel – something my Mom left behind. I must have been six when I found it in my Dad's basement, along with other things my Mom left behind. I had insisted, delusional, that my Dad had to have it beside his bed, just in case she came back one day and wanted to finish it.

And every summer, when I came to clean my Dad's room, I would see it still sitting there.

I sat down on his bed, the mattress creaking underneath my weight. Looking over his pillows, I smiled slightly as I saw one of his old checkered shirts. It seemed to be the only thing Dad would wear when he wasn't in his uniform. Biting my lip, I picked at the soft material and brought it to my nose – inhaling the scent of pine and peppermint. And fish bait.

"Ew, Dad," I said, feeling the tears on my cheek. "That's so gross."

But I wouldn't wash it. I couldn't.

I didn't have much left of him, so what little I could claim I was going to make sure I kept. Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I knew I couldn't touch anything in this room. No, I would leave it for when he got back. And then I could wash the sheets.

 _When he got back,_ I told myself, nodding as I closed the door, not wanting to look at the reminder that he was missing.

Leaning against the door, the silence seemed to scream at me. It was so quiet without him here. Charlie wasn't a loud person – the furthest thing from it, actually. But he would always have a game on in the background, and I would always hear the shuffling of feet, or the opening of cans.

Now, all that I could hear was the washing machine.

Renee had already called three times, and it wasn't even Monday. I knew she was nervous about me being here by myself, but I had to be here. I had to be home for Charlie.

On Sunday night, amidst piles of forms and files for admission to Forks High School, I went searching for a pen. In the corner of the living room sat my Dad's desk, cluttered and full to the brim of paperwork. Most of the paperwork was bills – electricity, water, and … lawn maintenance? I shook my head, shoving the paperwork away before I knocked over one of the books.

"Fuck," I swore, shaking my head as I bent to pick it up.

 _Quileute Texts_ was the title of the book. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at the book, the brown leather feeling rough against my hands. Why would Charlie have this? Deputy Regan made it clear what Charlie thought of Jacob and the Quileute's for that matter. But Charlie had been friends with Billy forever – as he was with Harry. These people were like family. How could Charlie suddenly hate Jacob?

I pursed my lips, before looking around the desk. It was then that I began looking through the books. All about the Quileute tribe. My eyebrows furrowed as I opened one – _Kwoli Tales_ – before looking at the content. It was in fluent Quileute, and was void of illustrations. I put the book down, my head aching as I tried to comprehend what this meant.

Charlie had an obsession with the Quileute tribe. Charlie had some reason to research them. Charlie hated Jacob Black. Charlie went missing on the 12th of November 2005.

What was he doing before then?

The shrill sound of the phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts, and I sighed, knowing who it would be.

"Hi, Mom."

XXX

On Sunday morning, Deputy Regan had been back to show me how to work the monster of a truck my father had brought me. The beast rumbled to life, before sputtering a few times in protest.

It meant that on Monday morning, I was prepared.

For the past eighteen years, I awoke to the smell of burnt toast and the sound of the radio on at full blast, some bubbly pop song echoing through the house loud enough to make the walls vibrate. And each day, on my first day of school, Renee would make me pose in front of her wall of pictures, and take another cringe worthy picture. She would always send it to Charlie.

Today was my first day at Forks High School. I had come to dread this day for the past two weeks. I knew what the day would consist of; _"I'm so sorry about your Dad," "Aren't people from Arizona meant to be tan?", "So is your Dad dead?"_.

It was going to be bad.

I knew that much.

My truck rumbled to life, and as it began to sputter I prayed to any God that would listen to just let this beast survive. As I pulled into the car park, they stared at me like I was a pariah. Eyes wide, with slacked mouths, I tried to ignore my peers that were quite vocal in how surprised they were to see a newbie.

Muttering a few words of encouragement to myself, I grabbed my bag and my keys, before jumping out of the truck. I managed to keep myself upright as I closed the truck door, my cheeks _burning_ as I walked across the parking lot. I was too focused on my feet to meet anyone's eyes, just wanting to get into the actual school.

"Hey, Isabella!"

Oh, god, they knew my _name_.

I turned, a smile on my lips as I saw a guy with floppy hair beaming at me. "Hey."

"I'm Mike," He said, thrusting his hand forward. "Everyone's been talking about the mysterious Isabella Swan's arrival. You're the biggest news we've had in a while."

I shrugged, looking down to my scuffed sneakers. "Well, sorry to disappoint, but I'm pretty boring."

'Mike' grinned. "I doubt you could disappoint, Isabella."

"It's Bella," I said, correcting him as I rubbed the back of my neck. "Listen, do you know where the office is? I gotta go get my schedule."

"Oh, yeah, sure, I'll take you," He said, eager as we began to walk. "And hey, I know this is probably overwhelming and everything, but I'm really sorry about happened to your Dad."

"Me too," I said, giving him a small smile. "But we don't know much about it, so there's still hope."

"Always," Mike said softly. "I just want you to know that my family and I, well, we're praying for the Chief and, well, of course for you Bella, as well, sorry, is that weird?"

I shook my head. "No, Mike. It's nice - thanks."

He grinned. "No problem."

And that was how the rest of the day went.

'I'm sorry about your dad' was a constant sentence I had to endure. The people were as nice as they could, considering what they were trying to dance around. I sat with Mike's group at lunch, and for that, I was grateful that Mike – the over eager floppy haired boy – had introduced himself to me at the beginning of the day. I already felt every bit as alien as people made me out to be, so it was nice to not have to eat lunch by myself.

Jessica Stanley was one of those people who shouldn't talk about sensitive subjects. She stumbled through a 'sorry' before she launched into her suspicions of what happened to my Dad. And I had to listen.

"Listen, I'm not saying anything that everyone else hasn't already said," She started, "but Charlie was such a good cop that I doubt he's just wandered into the woods and got lost. People like to say that he may have got lost on the trails, but we know what happens when you get lost on the trails – for gods sakes, look what happened last week to those hikers."

My eyebrows furrowed as I looked up. "What?"

Angela rolled her eyes, shaking her head at Jessica. "I'm sorry, Bella. Jess gets weird when we talk about sensitive things."

"It's okay," I rushed through, looking back to Jessica. "What about the hikers?"

"Oh," Jess said with a shrug. "Two hikers were found dead last week. They say they were mauled by a bear, but I know Detective Michaels – well, my Mom knows Detective Michaels – and he said that they found them in _pieces._ "

"Ew, Jess," Lauren said, flicking her hair. "That's disgusting."

"What?" Jess asked. "It's what Detective Michaels said. Bears don't ask questions before they eat people."

Angela sighed. "I apologize for my friends, Bella."

I laughed. "Don't worry about it, Angela. I've had worse."

Angela's face folded in sympathy. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"Don't worry about it," I murmured, brushing my hair out of my face. "But the hikers, they- where they from Forks?"

"Nah," Ben said, shaking his head. "They were from Portland, but came up for the weekend. Poor guys didn't know that we don't go on the trails."

"We?" I questioned, cocking a brow.

"People who know Forks, and know the area," Ben said as he wrapped an arm around Angela's shoulders. "People like to make fun of it, and call me superstitious, but if you know what's good for you, you'll stay out of the woods, Bella."

Angela rolled her eyes, pecking her boyfriend's cheek. "It's because you _are_ superstitious, Ben. Don't listen to him, Bella. People go hiking all the time – for gods sakes, Mike's parents own a hiking store."

"Sporting goods," Mike corrected as he bit into his apple. "Angela's right, though, Bella. Jess and Ben are just trying to freak you out."

"Okay, then riddle me this: who goes hiking all the time?" Ben questioned, raising his carrot to point at each and every one of us.

Angela rolled her eyes, before trying to think of an answer. Her face contorted in concentration before a bright smile overcame her face. "The Cullens!"

"Oh, Angela, why don't you _scream_ their name any louder," Jess groaned, her cheeks flushing.

"Jess is just annoyed because Edward Cullen doesn't pay attention to her," Angela explained to me, a smile on her lips. "But the Cullens hike all the time. Dr Cullen even takes the kids out of school when it's nice weather to, like, camp and stuff."

Ben sighed. "The Cullens don't count, Angela."

"They _totally_ count," Angela said, sighing as she looked at her boyfriend. "You just aren't counting them because you think they're creepy."

"They are," Ben muttered.

I cocked a brow. "The Cullens? Am I missing some major Forks gossip?"

Jessica laughed, taking control of the conversation. "I guess you could call it major – the Cullen's moved here a few years back. Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted a bunch of foster kids, even though they're like _really_ young-"

"How young?" I questioned.

"Late twenties, early thirties, I dunno," Jess said with a shrug of her shoulders. "But god they're young. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper graduated this year, and Emmett and Rosalie, were like, together. So weird."

"But they're not related, right?" I asked, confusion consuming me.

Angela shook her head. "No, only Jasper and Rosalie are related, I think. Dr. Cullen is like some foster dad slash matchmaker."

"So weird," Jess said, glancing over her shoulder at the table in back of the room. "They sit over there, and don't make any effort to socialize with the rest of us. And you'd think now that there's only two of them left they'd actually make contact with the rest of us but _no,_ they're too good for that."

"C'mon, Jess," Angela said, "don't take out your anger on them. I can't imagine having that big of a family and moving to a whole new town for your last few years of school. Cut them some slack."

"Well, Bella moved here in her last few months of school and she's not troubled," Jess said simply.

I scoffed. "I didn't move here for leisure, Jessica."

"Oh, right, I'm sorry," Jessica said, flushing. "Really, I am sorry Bella. I just … forget."

"No worries," I said, waving my hand in dismissal as I looked over Jessica's shoulder to the two members of the Cullen family.

A girl sat with her back to me – black spiked hair that was perfectly styled and ivory skin that was even paler than mine peeked out from her leather jacket. As if she knew I was looking at her, she turned her head to stare back at me, her eyes bright and _golden_? Confusion coursed through me as I met her gaze, wonder filling me as I stared at her.

I had been to my fair share of museums. Although the artwork would often draw me in, I would spend hours in the halls where the marble statues sat. The way their faces, perfectly smooth and sculpted, stared into space had often captivated me. I had always wondered if the artists had simply poured molten marble over a person, for the statue itself seemed too perfect to be something man made.

Alice Cullen reminded me of a marble piece of art. From her pixie-esque features, to the way her lips curved, my eyes took in her features with a stupefying confusion. I had never seen someone so flawless; so beautiful. Even the most beautiful of celebrities couldn't hold a torch to the beauty that Alice Cullen had within the tip of her smallest finger.

And then there was her brother.

Ivory skin, with bronze hair; perfectly tousled in a way that shouldn't have been perfect. The word 'perfect' seemed to tilt in my mind as I thought it for what seemed like the thousandth time today. But for Edward Cullen, that seemed to be the only word to describe the Greek Adonis that sat across from me in the cafeteria of Forks High School.

When I had first thought about a God, I had often wondered what he would look like. Would he be the white bearded, aged man that they painted him to be? Or would he be something else – something more than just what _they_ had envisioned him and manufactured him. I didn't often like to think about God, mainly because I wasn't exactly of the believing type, but if there was a God, I imagined he would look like Edward Cullen.

"Perfect, aren't they?" Jess whispered, a grin on her lips. "That's how everyone looks at them the first time they see them. You should have seen Lauren the first time they ever came to school – she almost creamed her pants!"

"Jess!"

Laughter bounded from our table, everyone sharing a hearty laugh at Laurens expense, while I continued to gaze at the Cullens. Almost as if they could hear our conversation, Edward Cullen's lips upturned as he inclined his head to our table. And then almost as suddenly as his lips as pulled together in a smile, the smile was dropped by a sullenness that only he seemed to wear.

He looked in pain.

"Bella? Why are you staring at Edward Cullen?"

I flushed, turning back to a smiling Jess. "Oh, don't go crushing on Edward Cullen, Bella. It's a lost cause. He's gotta be gay."

"Oh, I wasn't," I said, shaking my head. "I have bigger things to think about then boys, even if boys are like Edward Cullen."

"He's hot, right?" Jess said, smiling. "At least you'll admit it – Angela's such a prude sometimes."

"Oh, Jess, shut up," Angela said, rolling her eyes. "I am the one with the boyfriend here."

Now it was Jessica's turn to roll her eyes. "Okay, okay."

And then, almost instantaneously, Jessica gasped.

"Bella," She said, her voice low. "Why is Edward Cullen staring at you?"

I turned to look back at the table, my eyebrows furrowing as I met Edwards dark black eyes. I stared back, entranced as he stared at me. Although they were nothing alike, in that moment, Edward Cullen reminded me of Jacob Black.

For they both stared at me with hatred.

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"Who is that?" I asked, motioning to where the blonde Adonis stood, talking to one of the detectives.**

 **"That's Dr. Cullen, Bella," He said, his face contorting in concern. "Another hiker was found."**

 **"I heard," I said, motioning to my truck, "when I was driving over here. Was it … like the others?"**

* * *

 **A/N: Hi guys! Wow, thanks for all the reviews - they've been so nice! I said in the last chapter that if I got a decent amount of reviews, I'd update before Friday and I got way more than I was expecting! I'll still be updating on Friday! As you can probably guess, I can't answer all your questions but I'll try!**

 **May - Yes, their relationship is going to be _extremely_ Rocky. Jacob has been forced into a position of Authority at fifteen, and has suffered the consequences of being a supernatural creature in the 21st century. He is extremely troubled, as are most of the members of the wolf pack. I'm gonna try to portray them as how I think they would be. I mean, we're talking about boys who are fifteen, and sixteen years old - they're extremely young. Hell, I know at fifteen that if I had one day grew a foot in two months and then transformed into an animal, I would have a few issues. And Bella is also troubled - her father is gone, and her mother has never really been there. Although Bella loves her mother, and always will, her mother was very much a free spirited child pretending to be a grown up. So Bella has her own issues. And when you combine that with the supernatural, things are gonna get pretty hectic. Thanks for your review xx**

 **twilight anon - You've got to wait and see! I can't give away everything yet! Thanks for the review! xx**

 **Rose - The Cullens are not evil in this story. The Cullens are very much the same as they were portrayed in the original book; unattainable, perfect creatures that are frozen. I'm not really into the whole demonisation of the Cullens, although it does make for an interesting story. The Cullens, however, will be just as they were in the original books. However, Bella has come to Forks nearly a year after she was supposed to come in the original books. She's already eighteen, and she's in Forks for a reason. She is very much a different Bella than the Bella that came to Forks in the original twilight. A year, and a missing father makes people grow very quickly. And Jacob is trying to scare her away. He's not very good at it, because she's determined, but he wants Bella to leave. Forks is a dangerous place, you know ;) And what happened to Emily will be explained! You've just got to wait haha and I know how annoying that is to hear. The pictures will be explained as well. Someone did steal them. Thanks for the review! xx**

 **Melodia - Jacob is a wolf. And it is a big reason to why he is angry. He isn't exactly angry at Bella, but moreso angry at himself. He's a very tortured soul. You'll get to see what he thinks after chapter ten, for that is when we get to see in to his interesting little mind! And you'll find out who the two friends were in Chapter 11, I'm pretty sure. Sorry, is that really annoying that I can't tell you? They were curious about her looks because the last time Jacob saw Bella was nearly two years prior, and she has grown up quite a bit. And what happened to Emily is a big part of the plot, so I can't give it away now! Just know that it is the reason why all of this is happening! The Rez Boys have a bad reputation because they're perceived as a gang, and because a lot of people think it's strange that after Emily started hanging with them, she ended up dead. It's a small town, and when people see a group of boys that look like body builders, they get a bit scared. Thanks so much for your review! I loved reading it!**

 **Mandy - He is trying to get Bella to leave. Thanks so much for reviewing! xx**

 **Guest**

 **lytebrytehybrid88 - Very interesting theory ;)**

 **twin268 - I loved your review so much! It made my day! I agree with you on everything you said :)**


	4. Chapter IV

**Part I, Chapter IV** : Little Red Houses

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _I'm bigger than my body_

 _I'm colder than this home_

 _I'm meaner than my demons_

 _I'm bigger than these bones_

 _And all the kids cried out,_

 _"Please stop, you're scaring me"_

 _I can't help this awful energy_

 _Goddamn right, you should be scared of me_

 _Who is in control?_

Halsey - Control

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **I cocked a brow. "The Cullens? Am I missing some major Forks gossip?"**

 **Jessica laughed, taking control of the conversation. "I guess you could call it major – the Cullen's moved here a few years back. Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted a bunch of foster kids, even though they're like _really_ young-" **

**"How young?" I questioned.**

 **"Late twenties, early thirties, I dunno," Jess said with a shrug of her shoulders. "But god they're young. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper graduated this year, and Emmett and Rosalie, were like, together. So weird."**

* * *

 **BELLA**

" _Jane Cleary was hiking for the weekend when she was attacked just off popular trails outside Forks, Washington. Not much else is known about the newest victim in a series of bear attacks that have occurred in the Olympic Peninsula area-"_

Changing the station, I squinted through the rain as my truck rumbled down the road.

 _"When you left I lost apart of me,"_ The radio blared, cutting in and out slightly. " _It's still so hard to believe, come back baby, please 'cause we belong together."_

Parking in front of the police station, I turned off my monster of a truck – grabbing my parka as I jumped from the car. Climbing the stairs, I groaned as I opened the door, shaking off the water from my hair. As soon as I was inside, I rang the bell at reception until I saw Deputy Regans smiling face.

"Hey, Bella!" He exclaimed, coming into swoop me with a hug. "I wasn't expecting to see you today. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, everything's good," I said, running a hand through my wet hair as I caught sight of … Edward Cullen? I shook my head, vanishing the thought from my head as I realized the man that was talking to one of the Detective's had blonde hair. That must be one of his brothers, or maybe even his foster dad. I almost scoffed at the thought. That guy seemed barely old enough to drink, let alone adopt children.

"What can I help you with then?"

I held up the keys to the Mazda. "If your offer is still on the table?"

Deputy Regan smiled. "Of course, Bella, but you know I told you I didn't mind picking up the keys."

"I know, I know, but I had free time," I said, gnawing on my bottom lip, "and, well, I was bored. You can only do so much homework."

Deputy Regan laughed. "Well, I'm sorry you had to come see me to be free from your boredom. Have you made any new friends?"

"Um," I began, my teeth still biting into my lip, "yeah, I guess. People are weird about my Dad, though."

"Ah," Deputy Regan said, rubbing the back of his neck, "well, if they're giving you crap, you just tell them that it's a private matter, you know?"

I smiled. "Yeah, I know. Um, Deputy Regan?"

"Yeah?"

"Who is that?" I asked, motioning to where the blonde Adonis stood, talking to one of the detectives.

"That's Dr. Cullen, Bella," He said, his face contorting in concern. "Another hiker was found."

"I heard," I said, motioning to my truck, "when I was driving over here. Was it … like the others?"

Deputy Regan seemed uncomfortable talking about it with me, so I let it drop, asking him something else. "Is Dr. Cullens son alright, Deputy?

Deputy Regan's eyebrows furrowed. "Sorry?"

"Edward Cullen hasn't been in school since Monday," I murmured, glancing up to see Dr. Cullen glancing in my direction. "I thought maybe he had caught the flu or something. One of the girls from school, Lauren, has mono. I was wondering if it was contagious and if I should quarantine myself."

Deputy Regan shrugged at my attempt at a joke. "Dr. Cullen hasn't mentioned his son being sick, Bella. Maybe he went to visit family. The Cullens are constantly in and out. We've gotten used to it now."

I nodded, before I moved onto the real reason I was here. "I also wanted to ask you something, Deputy Regan."

"You know you can call me James, Bella," He said, smiling warmly.

I nodded. "I know, but I'm used to calling you Deputy – it would be weird to stop now."

He chortled. "Okay, then, ask away."

"What was my Dad doing the weekend he disappeared?"

Deputy Regan sighed, shaking his head. "I don't know, Bella. You'll have to ask someone else about that."

"Who?" I asked, a bit too forcefully. "Sorry, I just- I want to sort of clue together a few things. I figure that's the start."

Deputy Regan sighed once again. "I don't think it's healthy for such a young girl to be concerning herself with such things. You should be enjoying your last year of school – not worrying about your father."

"It's hard not to when I don't have any information," I snapped, before I flushed. "Oh, I'm sorry."

Deputy Regan raised his hands, accepting my apology. "No, no, don't you be sorry. You're grieving, Bella. It's expected."

 _You're grieving, Bella. It's expected._

It hit me just as hard as a punch would have. Out of everyone in this god forsaken town, I would have thought that my fathers own coworkers would hold out the hope that he was still alive. But like everyone else, as soon as his true thoughts slipped into his words, I felt the truth in his words hit me again, and again, and again.

If I couldn't rely on the police force to keep hopes up, then who was doing it? Me? Was I the only person that thought he was still out there? Was I the only person who cared?

Deputy Regan seemed to realize that I was offended, so he went into damage control quickly. It rolled out that Charlie hadn't been into work that weekend, as it was his shift off, and as it was his shift off, he had been planning to go fishing. And so that led me here.

To La Push.

Deputy Regan had told me, when explaining who was the last person to speak to my father, that I shouldn't at all try to contact him. I had promised him I wouldn't – I had promised him I wouldn't go to La Push. But as soon as I had gotten to my truck, read to turn back to go home, I knew I could ignore the truth Deputy Regan had told me.

I needed to see Billy Black.

Which led me to La Push.

I had spent a lot of time on reservation when I was younger. Being the daughter of a father who was obsessed with fishing, and whose social circle lived on the Rez, I didn't have any other choice than to spend the majority of my summers on the stoned beaches, by the tide pools, and in the Black home. I remembered the red house with vivid clarity – I remembered playing hide and seek with Jake behind the shed, and running through the mud when it rained.

The Black home hadn't been the same since Sarah Black died. It had been a Monday when Sarah, and her husband Billy, had been run off the road by a drunk driver. Billy had lost consciousness, and Sarah had lost everything. I could still remember walking into the hospital, my Dad's face twisted with sorrow, as I listened to Billy Blacks screams. I had thought that I knew pain but I didn't know pain. Not until I had heard Billy Black crying for the woman he had so loved. From what I remembered of the soft-spoken woman of the Black household, she was everything you would want a mother to be.

I remember once, when she was tending to a cut I had got on my leg, wishing that Renee would be more like Sarah Black. She had treated me with such tender maternal softness that when I was sitting on the Black kitchen counter, I could forget for a moment that my mother was not the mother to patch me up. My mother was the type of mother to forget the time I left school; the type of mother to constantly change traditions, and to constantly change routine. My mother was not the type of mother most wanted.

But she was mine, and I loved her.

The last time I had come to La Push was two summers ago. It had been the same summer that Charlie had told me about Jacobs's apparent drug habit – the same summer I had been stuck on the Black couch, watching reruns of friends, while I waited for Jacob to show up.

He never did.

Being left alone never did me any good. I got bored easy, and reruns weren't exactly enough to keep me entertained. So, like any naturally curious sixteen year old, I went outside to the porch, sat on the small swing and watched the forest. It was only ten minutes later when I saw it.

The wolf.

It had been huge – bigger than anything I had ever seen before. Copper fur blended into the darkness of the forest, and as I sat on the swing, daring not to move, I stared at it in wonder. I could remember the fear, the excitement, the complete and utter captivity, as I stared at the magnificent creature. It's dark eyes seemed like a universe that I could easily get lost in, if I wasn't so terrified. It took a mere second for the wolf to disappear back into the trees – a howl following it.

I hadn't told Charlie about what I had seen. I hadn't even told Billy. I'm the sure the old hoot would have been thrilled that I had seen one of La Push's wolves. Billy had a thing for wolves.

Cutting the power to my engine, I felt my breath catch in the back of my throat as I stared at the little red house I had once spent so much time at. Grabbing my jacket, I quickly got out of the car. My boots squelched in the mud as I made my way across the front yard of the Black's property – my hand stilling as I began to knock on the door.

Ringing my hands in front of me, I couldn't help but feel nervous at the sight before me. The dark red of the door had always been so inviting to me – I had once loved knocking on the door to the red house. Now, it only seemed to cause me anxiety.

The door swung open, and I was met with the sight of Billy Black.

"Bella."

My name seemed to be a strangled one in his throat, and I squared my shoulders, nodding. "Mr Black."

"Billy," He corrected, his face almost showing offence at the formality with which I had addressed him.

I nodded. "Billy."

"Come in," He murmured, wheeling backwards to invite me into his home.

I stepped inside, and was immediately hit with the musk of the Black home. I guess the smell should have been something I was used to, but I had never seemed to quite get used to the scent the Black home held. It wasn't bad, nor was it good. It was … home. It didn't make sense, not anymore, especially not anymore, but my childhood was filled with the constant moving from place to place. This seemed the only place that held any semblance of what it meant to have a home.

It was still the same as I remembered it. On the walls, hung sloppily and yet with love was pictures that detailed the Chief of the Quileute tribe's life. His wedding to Sarah. The birth of his children. Rebecca, or was it Rachel's, college graduation? I never could tell the twins a part. I surveyed the living area to find it quite clean, despite the fact that two men lived here.

Jake must keep it clean.

I swallowed my nerves, turning back to Billy to see him staring at me – curiosity, and fear in his face as he stared at me. "I think you know why I'm here, Billy."

"Yes," He murmured, motioning for me to sit down. I refused. "Please, Bella, it'll be easier to talk if you were sitting. So we're … eye level."

I bit my tongue, wanting to scream at him to tell me everything he knew, only to fin myself sitting down instead. Billy seemed to realize I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, as it seemed I was every day, and gave me a sympathetic smile. But despite this, I couldn't forget what Deputy Regan had told me.

 _"The Black's have changed since you knew them, Bella. They're dangerous. Both of them."_

"I'm surprised you came," Billy murmured quietly. "I didn't think your Deputy friend would let you out of his sight."

"Deputy Regan has been more help than anyone in this place," I sneered, my fists clenching.

"I'm sorry, Bella," Billy said, his features crumbling slightly. "I'm sorry that this had to happen for you to come here."

My features contorted in confused. "What? What do you mean this _had_ to happen?"

Billy sighed, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant. Charlie- your father- I'm very sorry, Bella."

I felt my breath hitch in the back of my throat as I realized what he meant. Billy knew what happened to my dad, more than anyone else I had spoken to. And he was apologizing to me.

 _Bella,_ I thought, preparing myself, _you know what that means._

"He's not dead," I snarled, almost wanting to punch Billy in the face. "I know he's not- I would know if my father was dead."

Billy's face crumbled once more, before he cleared his throat. "Why are you here, Bella?"

"I want to know what happened to my Dad," I said, trying to stop the emotion from consuming me. "I want to know why Deputy Regan said you were the last person who saw him. I want to know what you talked about, what time he came here, and what time he left. I want to know exact details, and I won't be leaving here until you give them to me."

"You can't stay here, Bella," Billy snapped, his eyes glancing to the door. "You can't be here when Jake comes home."

My eyebrows furrowed as I leaned forward, grabbing Billy by the hand. "Billy … are you afraid of Jake?"

"Don't be ridiculous," He said, pulling his hand from mine. "Jake just can't see you."

"'He can't see me'?" I echoed, a strangled laugh coming from my throat. "God, Billy, what have you been smoking? Just tell me what I came here for, and I'll leave. Plain and simple."

"And if I don't?" Billy dared, his dark coal eyes glaring at me.

"And if you don't," I began, my hands gripping on the arms of his wheelchair, "I will make sure I find out what you're hiding, and I will tell _everyone._ "

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"Why the sudden interest?" Jessica asked, before she cursed under her breath. "Oh, god, he's back."**

 **"Who?" I turned, looking around, only for Jess to grab my arm.**

 **"Who do you think?" She asked, before shaking her head. "Edward Cullen."**

 **"Oh," I murmured, glancing over my shoulder to see Edward settle down at his usual table. But instead of being in polite conversation with his sister, he was staring at me. Again. "Why does he keep looking at me like that?"**

* * *

 **A/N: It's Friday! So we've had four chapters this week, and I just finished writing chapter eighteen (which, spoiler alert, is the chapter where you find out _everything_ ) _._ Is that too far away? Sorry. I promise that the next chapter will have some major discoveries in it. I swear. So look forward to Monday, or maybe, just maybe, if you review extra hard I might update before then because like I said, I'm up to chapter eighteen. I don't mind updating early :) **

**Okay, answer time!**

 **Melojosie -** Hello, and welcome. Imprinting is definitely a thing here, and it will be a big thing here. Hint hint. Thanks so much for your review :)

 **May -** You don't have to wait anymore! Not much can be found out about Emily and the hikers in this chapter, but it alludes to even more people dying! Poor Jane Cleary - she didn't even see it coming. Next chapter I promise you will find out a lot more about what happened to Emily. Emily was Sam's imprint. My Bella is extremely different from the Bella of the original twilight series. I feel like originally, in the first book, Bella was quite assertive and she stood up for herself, but she became extremely eclipsed by Edward. I love this Halsey lyric because I feel like it captures exactly what happened to Bella in the original twilight series: _"_ _You were red and you liked me 'cause I was blue. You touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky. And you decided purple just wasn't for you." (Halsey, Colors)._ It's a great lyric, and I feel like it captures what happened between Edward and Bella perfectly. For me, Bella being a human made her more alluring to Edward and when she was tainted by his touch, he left (even though Stephenie Meyer claimed he was protecting her or whatever). Anyways, I feel like it's just an amazing lyric, and if I ever wrote a post NM AU, I would definitely use that lyric in the description because it's _so_ beautiful. I'm gonna stop rambling now, and address the rest of your review lol (I can get a bit carried away). Bella will have one class with Edward, and it's biology. Edward is ... interested in Bella. I am portraying Bella's relationship the way Meyer did in the first book - nothings changed except Bella, and Jacob and that means that Bella will handle it differently (obviously, because it Bella/Jacob). And the wolves will always be watching! Thanks for your review :)

 **Astilbe -** Hey, thanks so much for your support - I love reading your reviews. Yeah, that trip to Charlie's room was really hard for Bella. Bella's relationship with Charlie is so complex, and so buried beneath resentment and misunderstanding and just a lack of communication, but she loves her Dad. And so with him missing, she's looking past the resentment and lack of communication and it means she's becoming closer to the love she has for Charlie. I really hated how in twilight Bella just consumed herself with Edward, and didn't care for her Dad, anymore. I mean, she was willing to just fake her death and put him through that pain for the sake of being with Edward. That always makes me so angry. Charlie, like Bella, is extremely inquisitive and knows a shady situation when he sees one. You'll find out all about why he had the Quileute legends later on, but lets just say he was getting very close to knowing everything about the wolves and the Cullens.

 **Melodia -** Thank you, I do try. I feel like because I value reviews so much, I really do enjoy writing back to the ones that have questions. Imprinting is definitely a thing here, and Jake is Alpha. Bella will get in to a LOT of trouble for sniffing around in places that she shouldn't be, but you'll have to wait and see what happens ;) Thanks so much for your review, I really love it! xx

 **Rose -** Thanks so much for your review Rose. Bella will definitely be a little less dazzled by Edward than she was in the original twilight, but that's mainly because she has bigger things to think about. But she does find him interesting, and beautiful, as most humans would.

 **Mandy -** I hope this chapter answers your question about Billy :)

 **twin268 -** Thanks so much for your review again, I love reading them, it makes me so happy to know that you like my story :)

 **mrslisablack -** There will definitely be imprinting. I feel like that was a big question after the last chapter lol! Thanks for your review :)


	5. Chapter V

**Part I, Chapter V** : Poor Emily Young

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _I'm down to my skin and bone_

 _And my mommy, she can't put down the phone_

 _And stop asking how I'm doing all alone, alone_

 _But the truth is the stars are falling, ma_

 _And the wolves are out c-calling, ma_

 _And my home has never felt this far_

Troye Sivan & Broods - Ease

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **"Don't be ridiculous," He said, pulling his hand from mine. "Jake just can't see you."**

 **"'He can't see me'?" I echoed, a strangled laugh coming from my throat. "God, Billy, what have you been smoking? Just tell me what I came here for, and I'll leave. Plain and simple."**

 **"And if I don't?" Billy dared, his dark coal eyes glaring at me.**

 **"And if you don't," I began, my hands gripping on the arms of his wheelchair, "I will make sure I find out what you're hiding, and I will tell _everyone._ "**

* * *

 **BELLA**

Billy Black kicked me out of his house after that.

I spent the rest of the night moping at home, half torn between being furious and being heart broken. I knew that Billy would give me nothing – with what everyone had told me the Blacks had become, I had expected nothing more than what I found. But something, something stupid within me, told myself that Billy would be the same Billy I had known for my entire life. In the drive to La Push I had told myself that Billy Black was the same man who had let me sit on his legs and read stories to me. I had told myself that Billy Black was the same man who had sent me a birthday card every year.

But I was young.

This Billy Black was not the Billy Black I knew.

"Everything is just so fucked up," I cried into my pillow, the sobs coming hard and fast.

I just wanted answers.

I just wanted to know what had happened to my father.

The weekend was over just as quickly as it began, and I soon found myself settling back into school. People no longer looked at me like I was going to break down at any minute, which I was grateful for. While I knew that everyone _knew_ about the reason I had come back to Forks, I didn't want to be reminded of it at every second. When I was home, all I would do was research. I would research the trails. I would research the missing hikers. I would research bear mating seasons.

My father had left his desk a clutter, and that was oddly comforting. Every night, after I had eaten leftovers from the night prior, I would hunch myself over the old oak desk and scour through the hundreds of pieces of paper my father had left me to look through. Most of it was, in fact, rubbish. Most of it was work stuff – missing peoples report, and licensing issues. Most of it was just useless to whatever I was working to find.

I just needed to know one thing.

Why did Charlie Swan care so much about the Quileute legends?

"Do you know anything about the Quileute's?" I asked Jessica one afternoon, hunched over my biology textbook as I tapped my pencil on the table.

Jessica cocked a brow. "Not much, other than the fact that La Push has some sort of gang now."

I leaned forward, feigning ignorance. "La Push has a gang? Like drug pushers?"

Jessica snorted. "More like school bullies on steroids."

"I don't get it," I said, my shoulders slumping. "They're not violent or-"

"Oh, don't get me wrong," Jessica began as she brushed her hair out of her face, "the La Push gang are definitely violent. Sometimes, when we're down at La Push surfing-"

"-you surf?" I questioned.

Jessica laughed. "No. I usually go hang around the tide pools and try not to fall flat on my face. Anyways, where was I?"

"Surfing?"

"Right," Jessica restarted. "Sometimes, they'll be nice, and will actually talk to us. But if they're leader is around, it's like we're all of a sudden we're pale faces and their the big bad protectors of the tribe or whatever bullshit they spout. Anyways, they weren't always like that."

"Believe me," I said as I brought my pen to my lips, "I know."

"Why the sudden interest?" Jessica asked, before she cursed under her breath. "Oh, god, he's back."

"Who?" I turned, looking around, only for Jess to grab my arm.

"Who do you think?" She asked, before shaking her head. "Edward Cullen."

"Oh," I murmured, glancing over my shoulder to see Edward settle down at his usual table. But instead of being in polite conversation with his sister, he was staring at me. Again. "Why does he keep looking at me like that?"

"He's doing it _again_?" Jess asked, her eyes wide as she followed my gaze. "He looks like he's in pain."

"He always looks that way," I muttered, before I turned back to my biology homework. "God, if I have to do that test today, I am not going to be able to pass. I know I really shouldn't be staying up so late, but I feel like I'm just starting to get a hold on what might have happened to my Dad, although I'm still really just as clueless- Jess, are you even paying attention?"

"Sorry," Jess mumbled, before she shook her head, her eyes still on Edward. "I just can't figure him out. He leaves for a week, and now he's obsessed with you?"

I rolled my eyes. "Jess, he's not obsessed. He's just looking."

"But- but I just don't get it," Jess said, her face twisting in confusion. "He pays no attention to _anyone_ for two years, and then you get here, and suddenly he's all 'I like to stare at girls like I stare at steak' kinda guy."

I sighed. "Jess, I doubt he's even looking my way. Maybe he's day dreaming, or something."

"Doubtful," Jessica snapped, before she turned back to her textbook. "God, I can't even get a date for prom and you have Edward Cullen staring at you."

"You make it sound like I _want_ that," I mumbled, only for Jess to grab my arm like a lifeline.

"But you'll go out with him if he asks, right?" Jess questioned, and I shrugged.

"Listen," I began, "dating isn't exactly high on my list of things to do right now. My main priority, my whole reason for coming here, is to figure out what happened to my Dad. I'm just here, at school, because it was the only way my Mom would allow me to move to Forks. Once I'm done, my main focus will be my Dad. If he even speaks to me, Jess, I'll send him your way, believe me."

XXX

"Hello."

His voice was just as melodic as one would expect it to. When I imagined the voice of Edward Cullen, the sound of bells ringing wasn't exactly what I expected, but it still suited him. I wondered if the way he spoke, the controlled and slow way his tongue wrapped around his words, was another way to exhibit his physical superiority to us mere average people.

"My name is Edward Cullen," He began, a small smile on his lips, "and you're Isabella Swan?"

I wondered if the question was rhetorical. Edward Cullen had made a point to ask me my name, when I knew _he knew_ my name. It sounded as if I expected everyone to know my name, but I sort of did – I knew what they had said about the pale girl from Arizona when I had first arrived. It made even bigger news that the pale girl from the sunny place was the daughter of the missing of chief of police. And if there wasn't that to make my name known to everyone, it was the simple fact that Forks High School had a total of three hundred and fifty seven students. Fifty-eight including me.

So I knew, for a fact, that the freak from Arizona who came to figure out what happened to her mystery of a father wouldn't be a secret.

I brushed my hair from my face, nodding as I looked down to my notes. I was trying to revise as much as possible, for the anxious part of me had convinced myself that there would be a test today. I hoped that Edward Cullen would just leave me alone – there was something about, something I couldn't quite determine, that made me want to unravel under his stare.

"I'm very sorry about your father," He continued, his voice low. "Chief Swan was an amazing man."

 _Was._

"You don't need to offer me condolences," I murmured, biting my lip. "He's not officially dead. Not yet."

"Of course," He said, his now … golden eyes imploring mine for forgiveness. "I'm sorry."

"That's cool," I said, before I looked back down to my notes. "How're you feeling?"

His eyebrows screwed together. "Pardon?"

I felt like laughing. Edward Cullen had to be the most obtuse, and yet intelligent person I had ever met. "You weren't in school. For a week. If I knew any better, I would say you were avoiding someone."

He chuckled. "That was a pretty obvious question, wasn't it?"

"Um, yeah," I murmured, smiling slightly. "But don't worry about it – I once got genes and jeans confused in an essay."

"Oh?" He asked, his beautiful face contorting in amusement. "Please elaborate."

I laughed, my cheeks flushing slightly. "Well, my Biology teacher made us write this essay about inherited genes but he hadn't given us a written question, so me being thirteen year old idiot thought he meant hand-me-downs."

"Really?" Edward laughed, shaking his head. "I guess you win this round."

"Of what, stupidity?" I chuckled, shaking my head. "Believe me, I'll always win."

He smiled, brightly, and I felt my heart stutter in my chest as I looked to him. Quickly looking back down to my work, I wondered if Edward Cullen knew he had that power over people. It seemed to be a trend that the Cullens ignored. Their ability to render someone speechless, or in my case, to render my cheeks to be flaming red, was astounding.

"So," He began, his eyes still on me. "How're you liking Forks?"

"You mean the town where people go to die?" I asked, although after recent events, it seemed more literal. "Yeah, I wouldn't be here if it weren't …"

Edward nodded, his eyebrows pulling together before he asked his next question. "I can't help but wonder … I've heard that you're looking for your father."

I nodded, bringing my pen to my lips. "I'm not exactly trekking through the forest, but I'm trying to find out what happened to him. People just can't vanish without … without anything."

"So you're looking for an explanation?" He questioned.

I met his golden eyes, transfixed slightly before I shook my head. "No. I'm looking for my dad."

"Are you worried?" He murmured. "That all you might find is an explanation?"

I felt my breath catch in the back of my throat as my heart hammered. This was the question I, myself, didn't want to ask. I didn't want to think about the sheer possibility that I wouldn't be able to hug my dad – to tell him I was sorry for everything I had done. I wanted to find him alive, breathing.

I didn't want an explanation without Charlie Swan alive.

"Terrified," I answered, frightened by my honesty. "Absolutely terrified."

He looked as if he wanted to say something more, to pry more information from me, but he looked down. I looked at his profile, biting into my lip as I surveyed the Adonis beside me. "Hey, do you wear contacts?"

He seemed flustered, before he shook his head. "Ugh- no, it's the iridescence."

And that effectively ended the conversation.

XXX

Opening the door, I juggled my textbooks in my arms as I walked into my silent house. I didn't mind being alone – really, it wasn't as scary as it did seem when I made the decision to come here. If anything, the silence was slightly comforting.

While some people had come to drop off food, and offer their help, the people of Forks left me alone. For that, I was grateful. If anything, Forks knew how to be the one thing I loved: it wasn't nosy, or intruding. Even if Jessica Stanley did live here.

And like every day, I would go to my Dad's desk, and begin to rummage. I had gotten through the majority of the paperwork, and with little avail, I had quickly come to the conclusion that Charlie Swan was a normal man. He didn't have any hidden secrets, or a hidden agenda. He may have been researching the Quileute's, but that was it. That's all I had found.

A fascination with Native American culture didn't mean shit.

And that was frustrating.

Renee called that night, and like every time she called, she begged me to come home. The pleading was no longer as overt as it had once been – now she simply mentioned it towards the end of the conversation. She would mention something about how she needed to eat, and burnt toast was not sufficing as a meal. Or she would mention something about the house I had called home for the past two years. Renee was pretty hopeless when it came to anything to do with the house, and it's maintenance.

But every time she brought it up, I would remind her that she had Phil. Phil could do those things for her. Hell, he did them better than I would ever do them. And like every other time, she would claim that Phil didn't do things the way she liked. Her vague attempts to make me want to come home would fall flat every time, and would signal the end of the conversation. For as much as I knew my mother genuinely missed me, every thing she mentioned seemed to have a hidden meaning. Translation: Come home

As I went to bed, turning off every light in the hallway, I looked down to the door of my fathers room. It had remained closed for the whole week I had been here, and I knew I wanted it to remain that way. It had been a week, and it seemed like I wasn't any closer to finding out what happened when I had been told of Charlie's disappearance a month prior.

Walking toward the door, I pushed it open with bated breath. And there it was. Charlie Swan's room. Just the same as it had been a week prior. I sighed, going to sit on the bed as I had done when I had first arrived. Looking at the layer of dust on Charlie's nightstand, I wondered if he read while in bed.

Pulling open his drawer, I pulled out a leather bound book. The sight of my fathers hand writing met me.

"Oh, Dad," I murmured, my fingers tracing his sloppy handwriting.

Like all the others, the book was about the Quileute tribe written in Quileute. But unlike the rest, my father had written annotations. I felt my heart stutter as I realized that Charlie Swan, a man who had an aversion to literature, had spent his nights annotating a book on Quileute legends.

I opened the first page, looking to my fathers handwriting in confusion. _The Cold Ones drain their victims of all blood. The Cold Ones exhibit vast strength. The Cold Ones are intelligent creatures._

 _The Cold Ones can fake bear attacks._

My eyebrows furrowed as I read the last line annotation, before I jostled the book – four pictures falling from the pages of the Quileute legends. I looked down to the floor where they had scattered, picking them up. Turning them over, I felt my stomach churn as I stared at the pictures before I scrambled to the toilet, emptying my stomach all over the floor.

For in the pictures was a girl named Emily Young.

Or what was left of her.

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"Why the sudden interest?" Jessica asked, before she cursed under her breath. "Oh, god, he's back."**

 **"Who?" I turned, looking around, only for Jess to grab my arm.**

 **"Who do you think?" She asked, before shaking her head. "Edward Cullen."**

 **"Oh," I murmured, glancing over my shoulder to see Edward settle down at his usual table. But instead of being in polite conversation with his sister, he was staring at me. Again. "Why does he keep looking at me like that?"**

* * *

 **A/N: It's Monday! Thanks so much for the reviews on the last chapter, although I would have liked a little bit more feedback! It's always nice to know that people still find the story interesting. I'm not going to answer your questions in this chapter, but I'll probably address your reviews in the next chapter. So bring on Friday! But like always, if you review extra hard I might update before then! Have a good rest of the week!**


	6. Chapter VI

**Part I, Chapter VI** : Desperate Tiffany Call

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _So keep calling,_

 _Don't stop, no, I'll never give up_

 _And I'll never look back, just hold your head up_

 _And if it gets rough, it's time to get rough_

 _They keep saying_

 _Don't stop, no it's never enough_

 _I'll never look back, never give up_

 _And if it gets rough, it's time to get rough_

Haim - Falling

* * *

 **Previously:**

 ** _The Cold Ones can fake bear attacks._**

 **My eyebrows furrowed as I read the last line annotation, before I jostled the book – four pictures falling from the pages of the Quileute legends. I looked down to the floor where they had scattered, picking them up. Turning them over, I felt my stomach churn as I stared at the pictures before I scrambled to the toilet, emptying my stomach all over the floor.**

 **For in the pictures was a girl named Emily Young.**

 **Or what was left of her.**

* * *

 **BELLA**

Emily Young was nineteen years old when she was attacked by a bear on June 1st, 2005.

Charlie Swan had received a call late that night from Hikers in the area who had found human remains, still fresh. From what the people of Forks said, apparently it was the most gruesome of discoveries. And from what I had seen, I could attest to that statement. I had spent the majority of the night trying to will the images from my mind, horrified beyond fear to what I had laid my eyes upon.

But I couldn't' stop thinking about poor Emily Young. I couldn't stop thinking about the image of shredded skin, and internal organs that had become external after the bear had been through with her. I couldn't stop thinking about the image of Emily Young's detached, mauled head. And I couldn't stop the nausea that had consumed me for the better part of three days.

Apparently she had come from the Makah Tribe, and had fallen deeply in love with a boy named Sam Uley. Sam Uley was the same man who had recruited young men from the Quileute tribe to become a gang, or so I was reliably told by Jessica. Apparently Sam Uley was the one who started the La Push gang. Apparently Sam Uley wasn't the kindest of men.

Sam Uley hadn't been seen since his girlfriend's funeral.

It had taken five minutes in La Push for me to learn that fact. The people of Forks like to chatter, but nothing the people of La Push. The people who weren't the inner most important members of the tribe were the ones who let slip that Sam Uley had a temper. They were the ones that let slip that although no one would ever say it to the members of the Council, there had been whispers that Sam Uley had something to do with his girlfriend's death.

It had been a small woman named Tiffany Call who worked at the souvenir shop just off First Beach to tell me what she really thought of Sam Uley, and his pack of brutes.

"My son Embry was a normal boy. Sweet, kind, loving," She began as she packaged my purchase; a dream catcher that I had hoped might help with getting rid of my nightmares, "but that changed when he became involved with Sam Uley."

"Embry just stopped telling me things," She continued. "He stopped being the child I raised – coming back at every hour of the night and with an attitude to boot. I questioned him about steroids, about drugs, because you know, I would help him get out of it if he just told me the truth. But he won't budge. And when I brought up his friend, Jacob Black," She spat with such hatred that it seemed to be radiating off of her, "he raised a hand to me."

"Oh, my god," I said, my eyes wide. "Did he hit you?"

Tiffany shook his head, smiling sadly. "No. At least I can say that he's not that far from the boy I raised."

I had found it odd that a woman who didn't even know me would be so forthcoming, but it became apparent as we talked that Tiffany would talk to anyone who would listen about what had happened to her son. She told me that she had gone to the Council, and had pleaded with them to investigate what Sam Uley was doing, only for them to tell her that Sam Uley was a protector, and accredited of the tribe, unlike she.

It soon became obvious, as Tiffany continued to talk, that not many people would listen to her anymore. At least not people in the tribe.

"You're father was a good help," She had said, her hand coming over mine. "He always listened to me, and when things became too much, he would always intervene. Charlie Swan was the only person willing to step in when the Council overlooked. Believe you me, Bella, when I say that those boys are doing much more than just neighborhood watch. Charlie knew it, I know it, but the council will not do anything about it. And no one can question it because, well, look what happened to poor Emily Young. The girl didn't even stand a chance."

"You don't think it was a bear?" I asked, leaning forward.

Tiffany laughed. "Bella, bears do not play with their food as much as Emily Young had been brutalized. Bears will maul, but they do not torture. And from what I heard, when your father found Emily Young, he couldn't even look at what remained of her."

I closed my eyes, trying to rid myself of the stirring images that began to swirl in my mind. "Tiffany, why are you telling me this?"

"I just want someone to know," She began, "that La Push is not what it once was. No, that all changed when Sam Uley began destroying young boys lives. And look at your father - he had questioned them. Look where he is now."

A sharp pain consumed me, and Tiffany – upon seeing my grief – apologized profusely. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Bella."

"No," I said with a wave of my hand, "no, it's good that someone's telling me the truth. I feel like everyone is walking on egg shells around here."

Tiffany nodded, a small smile on her lips. "You could say that Bella."

I nodded, grabbing the bag with my dream catcher before I looked back up to her. "You mentioned Jacob Black – what do you know about him?"

"Only that when Sam Uley disappeared, he took over," Tiffany said with a shrug. "And while Sam was controlling, and brutish, Jacob is not much better. His father turns a blind eye to everything, even though he's the chief. And every week, Jacob Black recruits another young man. I don't know how, and I don't know why – all I know is that he keeps doing it."

I left the souvenir store with a pounding head, and a million questions. What I had found three nights prior had been enough to make me sick, but the revelations that Tiffany Call had given so freely – so desperately – made me even more nauseous. She spoke about Jacob Black as if he was a plague, taking with him all the youth of La Push.

I made my way down to First Beach, needing to feel the sea air in the hopes it would clear my mind of all things Jacob Black and Emily Young. From what I knew, Jacob was only fifteen – how could a fifteen year old wield such power? If I could remember right, he would be turning sixteen in January. But then as I thought back to the towering figure that had been in my house a mere two weeks prior, it was becoming more obvious that Jacob Black was far from the fifteen year old he should have been.

I settled on the stones, resting my head on my knees as I tried to sort out the chaos that was my mind. Everything just seemed too much.

"You shouldn't be here."

My head whipped around, spying the towering figure of Jacob Black staring at me – his charcoal orbs glaring at me. He looked just the same as he did two weeks ago, but there was something different about him. He seemed lighter – the shadows beneath his eyes had softened slightly and the hardness had vanished slightly.

He was still just as terrifying as he had been two weeks ago. His violently cropped hair seemed to be even shorter than before, and his eyes that so liked to glare at me even seemed lighter. While I still felt the familiar fear when I saw him, I also couldn't help but feel my cheeks flush at the sight of him.

He was shirtless.

A chiseled chest, and rock hard muscle stared at me. This was definitely not the body of your average sixteen year old. No, from what I can remember of being sixteen, lankiness and pimples were the things that defined most of the boys in my year. And yet Jacob Black looked like a contender for someone who had had consumed too much steroids.

"Is that what you say to everyone, or am I just unique?" I questioned, cocking a brow.

"Unique?" He questioned. "I think annoying would be a better way to describe you."

I sat back, hit with his insult. "Excuse me?"

"Why are you here, Bella?" He demanded, crossing his arms across his chest.

"Isabella," I snapped, mirroring his stance. "Only my friends can call me Bella."

"Apologies, _Isabella,"_ He snarled, before he motioned to where my truck was parked. "Now leave."

"Leave?" I questioned, a hysterical giggle escaping me. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm the son of the Chief of this Reservation," He snapped, and I felt the smile that was on my lips slipping slightly. "And as son of the Chief, I have the right to get you to fuck _off_."

"This is a public beach," I retorted, before I rubbed my butt in the pebbles. "You can't make me leave. I'm comfortable."

"I can't make you leave?" He snapped, challenging me.

"No."

Before I had a chance to blink, I was thrown over his shoulder and _forced_ off the beach. I felt shock consume me as his warmth radiated from him, and in extension, _me_. "What the **fuck** are you doing?"

"You said I couldn't make you leave," He said simply as he continued to carry me, his warm hand coming to rest on my bum. "You miscalculated."

And then, almost gracefully, he dropped me on my ass.

I slammed into the ground, only to have him looking down at me with a cocky smile on his lips. I felt my mouth drop open at what he had had just done – completely and utterly shocked at his nerve. "What _the_ **fuck**?"

"It was good to see you again, _Isabella,_ " He replied, before he turned to walk away.

"You can't just do that, Jacob Black," I snarled, pushing myself up. "That's assault."

He turned back around, chortling as if it was the most hilarious thing he had ever heard. "Assault? I picked you up, and returned you to where you belong – in that truck."

"You can't kick me off the Rez, Jacob," I snapped, shaking my head. "A lot of your citizens rely on tourism, right? Well guess whose a tourist."

He motioned to the bag I was carrying, cocking a brow. "Oh, is that why you're here? To buy some shitty China manufactured dream catcher? Or were you really sniffing around and asking Tiffany fucking Call about Emily Young."

I opened my mouth, shocked, before I closed it again. How did he know that we talked about that? Had Tiffany told him? I almost wanted to laugh at the thought of Tiffany Call telling the one person she hated about a conversation she had. There was no way Tiffany Call had gushed about her conversation with me to Jacob fucking Black.

"Did you eavesdrop, Jacob?" I questioned, my eyes narrowing. "Who does that, you freak?"

"Freak?" He questioned, his laughter booming as he shook with his amusement. And then he looked at me, with that unnerving stare as if he was seeing into the very essence of who I was, and smiled. "You're perceptive, Isabella."

"I've been told," I responded coolly, trying not to give away the effect Jacob Black had on me through my cheeks.

"So, Isabella Swan, did you get what you wanted?" He questioned, the smile still on his lips.

I had known Jacob Black all his life. How I remembered Jacob Black was with a smile. The stranger that had taken Jacob Black's place thrived on intimidation, and his height. The stranger that was staring at me with those familiar charcoal eyes stared at me with such hatred that I buckled beneath his gaze, cheeks ablaze and eyes downcast. This man – this brute – was nothing more than a towering body of muscle.

But despite the fact that I knew Jacob Black hated me, seeing him smile was something I wanted to die to. Jacob's face was so made for his smile – his eyes lit up and his cheeks dimpled. His entire face was centered around his smile, and yet he rarely used it. I couldn't deny that the sight of seeing Jacob with a smile was one that caused my chest to explode with warmth.

Just seeing him like he once was, was enough to make me feel happier than I had been in a long time. And then, almost instantly, I felt confusion soon follow the warmth, wondering why I was _happy_ that he was happy.

Jacob Black hated me and I hated Jacob Black.

"No," I said, putting my hands on my hips. "What happened to Emily Young, Jacob?"

He flinched, his fists clenching at his sides as he shook his head. "She was mauled by a bear."

"I've seen what she looked like, Jacob," I snapped, stepping forward. "A bear doesn't do that."

"No," He snarled, stepping back again. Fear crossed his face as he turned away from me, his russet skin vibrating slightly before he inhaled the pine air. "No, you can't come near me."

"Jacob?" I asked, feeling my feet stumble at his forceful rejection. "Jacob, did you even hear me?"

"You saw Emily?" He asked, opening his eyes as he glared at me. "Great. I'm glad you're nosiness paid off – I'm glad you got satisfaction in seeing a girls dead body. Not even her family saw her, but I'm _extremely_ glad you got to see her. And just for the record, Bears can decapitate Moose. They can definitely do worse to a 5'4 nineteen year old."

His words were a slap in the face. I swallowed whatever guilt his words brought up, shaking my head. "No, you don't get to make me feel guilty, Jacob. Emily Young wasn't killed by a bear."

"And you think one of us knows something about it?" He asked, cocking a brow. "You're wrong, Bella. You're not going to get your answers here, and not from us."

He turned back around, and I felt a slur of curse words slip from my lips as he began to leave. No, he didn't get to leave – not when he hadn't answered any of my questions. I chased after him, grabbing his scorching hand only for his head to whip around – his nostrils flaring.

"Bella," He whispered, his eyes softening as I tightened my hold on his arm. It was like touching him brought back the Jacob I knew. With just one touch, he was … settled.

My heart was a hummingbird in my best, hammering against the confines of my ribs as I stared into his eyes. His eyes reminded me of the night sky – flickers of light in the dark depths of his black orbs. It was transfixing, and beautiful, and everything that brown was supposed to be. I remembered a long time ago that I had claimed brown was my favorite color, but as I looked into the depths of Jacob Blacks' eyes, I realized that the bland browns of the tree trunks were nothing compared to his brown eyes.

His breath fanned over my face as he lifted his spare hand, brushing a curl from my cheek. I closed my eyes as I felt his burning fingers brush against my cold cheeks, like a hot iron to my skin, and yet I craved for it as soon as the warmth was gone. For the time I had been in Forks, I had been cold constantly. With his hand cupping my cheek, I found myself warm for the first time in weeks. I heard him inhale slowly, as if he was trying to smell me.

I felt my cheeks burn as I stared at him, wondering how we could go from screaming at each other to being this close to one another. He was everything I hated, and yet here I was, staring at him like a lovesick moron. I felt my breath catch in the back of my throat, wondering why I felt so captivated by him. This was Jacob Black. This was the man who knew what happened to my Dad.

This man was dangerous.

"I wasn't done talking to you," I said lamely, wondering how to recover from the staring match he had locked me in.

His eyes flickered from my eyes to my moving lips, his eyebrows puckering as he tried to come up with a response. "You shouldn't-" His voice broke off, shuddering with his … panic? "You shouldn't touch me. Don't touch me, Bella, it's not- fuck, it's not _safe_."

I let go instantly, as if I had been burned. He sounded so desperate for me to get away from him, and so far removed from the intimidating brute he had become. For a second, I could see the fifteen year old he should be. But he was scared. Beneath all the bravado, and intimidation, Jacob Black was afraid. And I couldn't work out why he would be.

The feel of the cool air whipping against my naked palm was enough to snap me out of whatever trance Jacob Black had locked me in. I chanced another look at Jacob, only to see him staring at me with such intensity I wondered if he was high. And then for a second, a mere second, as Jacob's eyes flickered from my forehead to my chin, from my eyes to the dimples in my cheeks. It was like he was trying to remember me.

"Jake," I began, adopting the name I once called him. "What happened to you?"

His gaze dropped, and he took ten steps back. "I grew up, Isabella."

"Growing up isn't what happened to you," I murmured, staring after him. "You look like you haven't slept in weeks, you're about a foot taller than when I last saw you and- and you're not Jake Black, anymore."

"I haven't been Jake Black in a long time, Bella," He spat, before his eyes moved to the forest. "Maybe you would know if you were around."

And once again, I felt his words stab me in the already gaping hole in my chest.

"You're an asshole, Jacob," I snarled, turning back to my truck. "I'm not going to give up. I'm going to find out what happened to my Dad, even if that means finding out what happened to Emily Young."

Jacob glared at me as I got into my truck. "Nothing good comes from prying, Bella. Take my advice, and leave before you get hurt. There's nothing in Forks for you anymore, Bella."

"There will always be something in Forks for me," I said, before slamming the door.

Jacob Black didn't want me to know what they were hiding, but I didn't care; I was going find out.

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"You make no sense, Jacob," I snapped, shaking my head. "You invite me in, and then make me see what you've done to your house – why? Because you think it'll scare me? You helped me with my truck, I've known you since you were a child, I know you … I know you won't hurt me, Jake."**

 **"You're wrong," He said. "You're so wrong."**

 **And then he was kissing me.**

* * *

 **A/N: It's ... Wednesday? Shit, that must mean I got a bunch of reviews on the last chapter and I'm updating mid week because you guys are so awesome! I'll see you guys on Friday - hope you like the chapter!**

 **gobsessedreader -** Hi, I'm only five chapters in. It is a Jacob/Bella story, but it takes time for things to develop. You say you like fair and balanced stories, but this is a story from first person point of view - it is Bella's perspective, and after chapter nine it will be Jacobs perspective. 'In an earlier chapter': I think you're referring to the first few lines of the first chapter where Bella talks about the reporters that had talked about a gruesome crime scene when there really wasn't anything gruesome about it. Journalists sensationalise things - believe me, I am one. Or, well, studying to be one. That rhetoric was meant to illustrate how Forks, and in extension La Push are small towns that are ruled by gossip and rumours. I was setting the scene. Just to point out again: I'm only five chapters in. The Quileutes look like the 'bad guys' because in Bella's mind, their massive brutes who showed up at her house and have a weird connection to the death of Emily Young. They're not the antagonists, but it's going to take some time for Bella to realise that. And guess away, there's a lot of possibilities for where the story is going.

 **Ellie -** Thanks Ellie, I really appreciate it :)

 **twilightanon -** Hey, the story is going to be really focused on what happened to Emily because for one, it really affected the pack and it is a really pivotal clue as to what happened to Charlie. Thanks for the review :)

 **mandy -** Bella is obsessed with finding out about what happened to her Dad. Thanks for the review :)

 **astilbe -** Billy was a jerk, but he was a jerk for a reason. Protecting Jacob is a big thing for Billy, and as Jacob's father Billy see's Bella as someone who could hurt Jacob. Jacob is mean because Jacob doesn't want Bella in Forks. Plain and simple. Some of the students (cough cough Jessica) view Jacob as mean but really he was probably just protecting the humans. Thanks for the review :)

 **rose -** In my story, the legends are held a lot more closely to the Quileute tribe then in Twilight. Charlie knew the basics - very little of the legends - that's why he got those books.

 **Melodia -** Edward is definitely interested in Bella. Like I said in one of the authors notes a while ago, even though this is an Alternate Universe the aspects of twilight are still very much the same. Bella is still his singer, and he still can't read her mind, so he's interested for those reasons. But without Bella reciprocating or giving interest back, the outcome is going to be very different. It has affected the pack incredibly - after the first nine chapters it will be Jacob's POV and you will see just how much it has affected the pack.

 **Melojosie -** I can't tell you that! Lets just say most people think he is dead.

 **May -** More chapters coming your way!

 **mrslisablack -** Thanks!

 **Aurora -** Thanks so much - it's my first time writing 'Bella' so she's very much out of her original character but I think that improves her tbh lol!


	7. Chapter VII

**Part I, Chapter VII** : Blue kisses

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _Everything is blue_  
 _His pills, his hands, his jeans_  
 _And now I'm covered in the colors_  
 _Pulled apart at the seams_  
 _And it's blue_  
 _And it's blue_

 _Everything is grey_  
 _His hair, his smoke, his dreams_  
 _And now he's so devoid of color_  
 _He don't know what it means_  
 _And he's blue_  
 _And he's blue_

Halsey - Colors

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **Jacob glared at me as I got into my truck. "Nothing good comes from prying, Bella. Take my advice, and leave before you get hurt. There's nothing in Forks for you anymore, Bella."**

 **"There will always be something in Forks for me," I said, before slamming the door.**

 **Jacob Black didn't want me to know what they were hiding, but I didn't care; I was going find out.**

* * *

 **BELLA**

"Fucking _shit_."

When Deputy Regan had told me my Dad had brought me a car, I had felt guilty. My Dad had brought me a car, and I hadn't even known. I had felt overpowered by the guilt that had consumed me that I didn't even think about what sort of car he had brought.

Now, on the side of some random road, I realized I shouldn't feel guilty for this piece of shit truck.

It had sputtered before giving an honorable death, or I assumed it was dead, mainly because it made a noise not known to man before complete carking it. The anxiety that had consumed me when I had realized that I was stuck, on the side of the road, had dampened slightly, but had flared up again when I realized that I had no signal. So not only was I on the side of the road in between Forks and the Rez.

I wanted to cry. Oh I wanted to cry; I wanted to sob and curl up in a ball and ask God, or the Universe, or whatever creator there was why my life was so completely and utterly fucked up.

I sat up in my seat, running a hand through my hair as I tried to think about my options. I could walk home, which would be probably at least an hour or two. I could walk somewhere to find signal, but I doubted that signal would be close to where I was. I could walk back to La Push.

 _No_ , I thought to myself quickly _, I am not going back._

I sighed again, just wanting to scream. My truck wasn't going to work for me, and neither was my phone. I couldn't even imagine how much this was going to cost me to get this truck fixed. I didn't exactly want to spend more money on buying another car, so I hoped that the problem was something less than a thousand dollars.

And then there was Christmas.

Christmas was five days away, and Renee was bugging me about flying out to Arizona for the week. But I was just starting to get somewhere with Dad. I was just starting to make some sort of progress, even if the progress still didn't make any sense to me. I couldn't just leave.

And I knew if I left I wouldn't want to come back. I wouldn't want to come back to the silent house, and the nights alone. I wouldn't want to come back to the dreary skies of Forks, or the snow, or the school. I wouldn't want to come anywhere near Washington, ever again.

So I couldn't leave.

Not when Charlie still hadn't been found.

So, I had told Renee I wasn't coming back for Christmas. I had told her that I didn't mind the silence of the crime scene I was living in. I had told her that I didn't really like Christmas all that much. I had told her that it would be good to spend a Christmas alone, before I went off to College. I had told her I would be fine. I had told her I was fine.

I had lied through my teeth.

If I had told Renee the truth, of how much I hated it here, of how much I hated the snow, and the cold, and everything that Forks represented, I knew she would be on the first plane out with two return tickets. I knew if I told her everything I wanted to tell her, I would be gone from Forks within two days. And then Charlie Swan would be abandoned by _everyone._

I couldn't give up on him. Not yet.

Looking back to the deserted road, I decided that the best option would probably be to wait for someone to come. That way I wouldn't be murdered, nor would I get lost in the snow.

I grabbed one of Dad's books – the one with the annotations – and opened it. I had removed the pictures of Emily, and placed them back in the drawer I had found them. I already had enough trouble sleeping, so I knew that if I saw those pictures again, the nightmares would be worse. And I couldn't allow that to happen.

My fingers stroked my Dad's handwriting as my eyes took it in again, wondering how he ever read anything he wrote. It was hard enough to read it, and I had good eyesight – Charlie was practically blind without his readers on. I thought back to the house, and wondered where his glasses were. I hadn't seen them since I'd been here.

 _Taha Aki,_ the scrawl dictated _, Related to the Blacks?_

Most of the annotation was crossed out, apart from three names. _Black. Atera. Uley._

It became quickly obvious that the names Charlie had written were names of Quileute families. Jacob Black. Sam Uley. And Ateara? I didn't know the name. Maybe it was one of Jacob's cult members.

I looked back at the name. Taha Aki. Maybe that was one of the legends. From what I had read, the name came up quite a bit. I couldn't read anything but my fathers annotations, for the book was in fluent Quileute.

The tapping at my window brought me out of the book, and launched me into my other seat in shock. Jacob Black stood at my window, his figure shrouded by shadows as he motioned for me to wind down my window. My heart hammered in my chest as I stared at him, before I pushed the book to the ground and wound the window down.

"Jacob?" I asked, my eyes wide.

He nodded. "That's my name. Don't wear it out."

"Are you stalking me, now?" I asked, incredulously.

He grinned, the sight making my heart stutter. "Are you still asking stupid questions?"

I glowered, rolling my eyes. "They're questions that need answers."

"I've given you answers," He replied, before he motioned to my truck. "Need help?"

I was half tempted to reply 'no', and to tell him to go back to the Rez. But I couldn't. So I remained silent, and that seemed to be enough of a yes to him as he rounded my truck and opened the trunk. I got out of the truck, watching as he – still shirtless – leaned into the engine.

"How did you know that my truck had died?" I asked, leaning against the cab of the truck.

He shrugged. "Someone mentioned that a pale face was stranded on the side of the road."

I cocked a brow. "Pale face, huh?"

Jacob looked up from the engine, his lips twitching. "Extremely pale. Aren't you from a place where the sun shines, Isabella?"

"Wow, I haven't heard that before," I replied dryly. "What an original and hysterical sense of humor you have."

He flashed me a look, as if to smile without moving his lips. "I try."

I rolled my eyes, wondering who this man was. One moment, he was glaring at me and asking why I was here, and then the next he was joking with me – his eyes light like they had once been. If anything, he was giving me whiplash.

I bit my lip, stepping forward as I felt his warmth radiating from him. "You know, no one has driven on this road for the last forty five minutes. Not since the car carked it."

Jacob didn't even bother to look at me. "Are you asking me if I lied?"

"I never said you lied," I murmured.

"You implied it, Isabella," Jacob said, rummaging with one the spark plugs.

"Well," I murmured. "Did you?"

He looked up then. "I came because I knew you were in trouble. Just because you hate me doesn't mean I don't care about your safety, Isabella."

"Hate you?" I echoed, my eyes wide. "You're the one with the whole 'hey, don't come here', 'hey, Bella, there's nothing here for you', 'hey, Bella, fuck off'."

Jacob snorted, his voice echoing through the depth of the trunk. "I've never heard you curse before, Swan. Didn't think you had it in you."

"I've changed," I replied dryly. "I didn't think you would pop pills, either, but we all change."

Jacob straightened himself as he stood up, his dark charcoal eyes glowering at me. "You think I pop pills?"

"Oh, I don't know. Pills, powder, whatever your fix may be," I said with a wave of my hand. "You can't deny you're supplementing, right?"

"I can," He said, before looking back at the engine. "You're battery's dead. I've got my Dad's truck, so I'll jump it, but you'll have to drive it back to mine."

"Why can't I drive it back to mine?" I questioned, crossing my arms across my chest.

Jacob sighed. "You ask too much, you know that?"

"I've been told," I replied, before raising my brows.

"I built the engine," He began, motioning to my truck, "so I'll have it fixed by tomorrow."

"And what's it going to cost me?" I questioned as he got the cables from his car.

Jacob laughed. "Well, you can pay for the battery, and that'll be a few hundred."

"And the labor?" I questioned.

"I'll send you the bill," He said as he motioned to the truck. "Now get in, and wait until I jump it."

We drove back to Jacob's house – the little red cabin the middle of the woods. Jacob opened the doors to his garage – a small shed at the back of the Black home. I turned the ignition off, my eyes crawling over the shed that Jacob would fix my truck in.

Getting out of the truck, I quickly went into the shed to stop myself from getting wet. Jacob watched me, his dark eyes ablaze as I looked around the shed. Tools hung from the sheets of tin that acted as walls, while there was one small light that hung from the ceiling. I walked over to where a car sat beneath a grey sheet, lifting it to uncover a stripped back car.

"Is this a project of yours?" I asked, cocking a brow.

"It was," He said, before he grabbed a cigarette.

I cocked a brow as I watched him light it, and put it to his lips. "That'll kill you, you know."

He laughed, booming and sarcastic. "I wish."

Uneasiness churned in my stomach as I watched him inhale, before I scrunched up my nose. "Well, I'd prefer not to get lung cancer, so could you put it out?"

"Okay, Grandma."

I narrowed my eyes at him, sighing. "So are you going to drop me back or do I need to hitch hike?"

"Why do you think you need to go back?" He asked, confusion coating his features.

"Because I don't think you want me here?" I questioned. "You treat me like a pariah, and now you're wanting me to stay?"

"Pariah," He echoed, laughing bitterly. "Don't worry, Isabella, that's me."

"I don't get you."

He cocked a brow. "You don't get me?"

"You act like I'm the worst thing to ever happen to you one minute, and now you want me in your garage? Now you're helping me?" I questioned. "I don't understand, Jacob."

Jacob rubbed the scruff on is jaw, before his black eyes met mine. "I don't think you're supposed to, Isabella."

"See? Here's the 'jedi mind fuck' bullshit you keep pulling," I said, exasperated as my hands went to my hair. "I don't _understand._ I don't understand why you can't just tell me what happened to my Dad. I don't understand what has happened to you. I don't understand what you're hiding. God, do you honestly expect me to believe that you had a growth spurt and suddenly you're into gang violence?"

Jacob shook his head. "Isabella, you haven't been around in a long time-"

"That's such an excuse, Jacob," I snapped, standing up. "Listen, I'm not here for you to lie to me. I already have a bunch of people doing that, so _please_ you do not need to do it."

"I don't want to lie to you, Bella," He murmured, his eyes meeting mine. "I never want to lie to you."

 _Lie._

"You've been lying to me the moment I came back here," I said, defeated. "You've been lying the entire time."

"I don't have a choice, Bella," He said through gritted teeth, his fists clenching.

"You always have a choice, Jake," I murmured, my hand coming to his clenched fist. "Tiffany- she said that you've been leading this gang since Sam has gone. Why are you doing that, Jake?"

Jake shook his head, sighing. "We're not a gang."

"You're not?" I laughed, leaning back against one of the wooden pillars. "Could've fooled me, Jacob."

"We've fooled a bunch of people," He said, his knuckles white as he ruffled his hair. "But it's not what you think, Bella. It's just … my life- it's fucked."

I bit my lip, sliding down the pillar so I could sit on the ground. "Well, I guess we're two peas in a pod."

Jacob looked up, before he chuckled. "You're nothing like me, Bells."

My head snapped up at the sound of Charlie's name for me. "Bells?"

"Fuck," Jacob swore. "I'm sorry, Bella. I wasn't even thinking."

"No," I said with a shake of my head. "No, it's okay Jake. I- I've missed being called Bells."

Jacob stared at me, his onyx eyes doing the same thing they had done a few hours prior. It was as if he was memorizing me. Every feature, ever freckle, every out of place hair, every imperfection he was trying to remember. It was like he was trying to see as much as he could, before he would have to say goodbye.

And I knew he would say goodbye.

"Bella," He began, his eyes meeting mine. "I can't say much about your Dad, but you have to know that I'm so sorry. Charlie was an amazing guy."

"Was," I echoed, closing my eyes. "You can't tell me anything, but you can say that he _was_ an amazing guy."

"I shouldn't have said anything, Bella," Jacob began, before he glanced to the sliding doors of the garage. "I shouldn't have let you come here."

And there it was. The enigma that was Jacob Black had returned and the Jacob that smiled was gone. I felt my stomach drop as Jacob stood, looking over to me as he motioned towards the house. "Maybe we should get in the house. It's getting cold."

"Says the boy who isn't wearing a shirt," I responded, before I raised the question. "Why aren't you wearing a shirt, by the way?"

Jacob shrugged. "We run hot."

"You run hot?" I questioned. "It's snowing outside."

He smiled, shaking his head but didn't respond – just held open the door open for me. We trudged across the yard until we made it to the little red house; the scent of sandalwood and pine hitting me like a slap in the face. It smelt like Jacob. Since the last time I had been here, it didn't seem like much had changed.

Until I saw the living room.

Everything was … destroyed. The couch was overturned, and the cushions were clawed out, as if a bear had mauled it. The home that Billy and Sarah Black had created for themselves was ruined. The pictures that had hung on the walls a few weeks prior were gone. Glass was in the discolored carpet, and the TV had been knocked over. Everything that made the little red house a home had been destroyed, and I didn't know what to think about it.

I turned to look at Jacob, to ask what had happened, only for his eyes to be burning into mine. It was like he was expecting me to run; as if he thought I would see the living room, scream blood murder, and run from the house I had known since I was a child. It was then that I realized we didn't go into the house to get away from the cold outside. Jacob wanted me to see this disaster. Jacob wanted me to see what his home had become.

What his life had become.

"Jacob," I began, my eyes moving from each piece of destruction. "What happened here?"

"I told you it wasn't safe for you here," He murmured, his eyes moving over the disaster. "It's not safe for you to be near me."

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked, wondering why he hadn't already asked.

He looked to me, his onyx eyes glaring at me. "I need you to leave, Bella."

"You make no sense, Jacob," I snapped, shaking my head. "You invite me in, and then make me see what you've done to your house – why? Because you think it'll scare me? You helped me with my truck, I've known you since you were a child, I know you … I know you won't hurt me, Jake."

"You're wrong," He said. "You're so wrong."

And then he was kissing me.

Kissing Jacob Black was like suffocating. It was crazed, terrifying, and intoxicating.

With his lips on mine, he had stolen the air from my lungs and had rendered me completely and utterly stunned. No, kissing him was like being electrified; was like every cell being set alight by shock after shock. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I couldn't push him away, and maybe I didn't want to.

The confusion that I was consumed by mere moments ago exploded as his tongue slipped through my lips. I had never experienced anything like this, and had never expected to. His kiss was insanity manifested and like everything in my life, was unexplainably random.

He breathed into me, filling my lungs with the air he had deprived me of before he devoured it again. It was animalistic, yet delirious. He affected me like none other – his touch like none other. I was crippled by his kiss, but I shouldn't have been. I should have been pushing him away. This was the man that wouldn't tell me the truth – the man that knew the fate of my father, and yet wouldn't tell me a thing. I should hate him. But I kissed him.

His hands were in my hair, gripping painfully before they slipped down to my thighs, hiking my legs up so to wrap around his waist. I felt him turn us, so my back was to the walls. My head was throbbing as he ripped his lips from mine, panting. I inhaled his breath, starved. My thoughts were clouded by his kiss – tainted his touch – and when I stared at his face, a face I knew so well, I expected him to wear the same expression.

But when I met his eyes, all I saw was … hunger.

Uncontrollable, animalistic hunger.

And then it was gone.

In its place was regret.

"Bella," He whispered, his warm breath spraying over me before he shook his head – his face crumbling with regret as he put me down. "Bella, you need to leave."

"What?" I replied, breathless. "What do you mean?"

"I-i- Bella," He choked, shaking his head as pointed to the door. "You need to leave. It's too dangerous, Bella- I can't- you can't be Emily."

"What?" I cried, confusion consuming me as I watched Jake begin to vibrate violently. He roared as he pushed me away from him, tears streaming down his face as he told me to leave.

"Just go, Bella, leave, _please_ ," He screamed, his voice becoming choked on his own sob.

Pushing me out of the way, he stumbled into the kitchen, his whole being trembling as he tried to control himself. Forcing open one of the cabinets, he grabbed a bottle of Xanax, and popped four of them. "Jacob? Oh my god, spit those out, you'll overdose!"

"I-I- I need this, Bella," He stumbled, closing his eyes as the vibrations became violent. His whole body seemed to be jerking, as if he was refusing to give in to a natural function. And almost suddenly, it halted.

"Jacob?" I breathed, my eyes wide. "What- what just happened?"

He opened his eyes, his pupils dilated as he wiped his face of his tears. He looked exhausted. He looked like a soldier that had just fought his most trying battle. He looked like a man who had lost every will he had to live. He didn't look like the Jacob who smiled, or even the other Jacob that I had known for the past few weeks. He looked like a man who wanted to die.

"I'll take you home," He whispered, his voice croaking.

The entire ride was silent. I don't think I was scared, not for myself at least, but whenever Jacob would move, I would find myself wanting to be closer to him. It was like I wanted to calm him down, even if it scared me. But he wouldn't let me touch him. He wouldn't even let me near him.

"I'll drop the car off in the morning," He croaked, his knuckles white on the steering wheel.

I nodded, biting my lip to stop myself from speaking. I didn't want to aggravate the situation. "Okay. Thank you."

I went to get out of the car, only for Jacob to inhale sharply. I glanced over my shoulder, my breath catching in my throat as I saw Jacob with his eyes shut tight. I didn't know what was wrong with him, and I barely knew how to help him.

I opened the door, looking to my feet as I heard his quiet voice. "Stay away from the Rez, Bella. It's not safe for you to see … me."

I didn't protest.

After what I had seen today, I agreed.

"Goodbye Jacob."

"Bye, Bella."

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"Hey, curls," He said, throwing me a smile. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"**

 **I stared at him, gaping. "I- my name is Isabella Swan."**

 **"Swan," He echoed, his face crumbling as he glanced around, before motioning for me to come in. "Lets talk inside."**

* * *

 **A/N: It's Friday! 70 reviews and only 6 chapters? Wow, that's awesome - thank you so much guys. You are awesome. I'll see you on Monday :)**


	8. Chapter VIII

**Part I, Chapter VIII** : Little Pink Houses

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _Kiss me on the mouth and set me free_  
 _Sing me like a choir_  
 _I can be the subject of your dreams_  
 _Your sickening desire_  
 _Don't you want to see a man up close?_  
 _A phoenix in the fire_

 _So kiss me on the mouth and set me free_  
 _But please don't bite_

Troye Sivan - Bite

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **I opened the door, looking to my feet as I heard his quiet voice. "Stay away from the Rez, Bella. It's not safe for you to see … me."**

 **I didn't protest.**

 **After what I had seen today, I agreed.**

 **"Goodbye Jacob."**

 **"Bye, Bella."**

* * *

 **BELLA**

The memory of Jacobs's lips haunted me for four days.

On the fifth, Christmas Eve, I knew that I couldn't stay in the house any longer. I couldn't think about the way his scorching hands cradled my face, or how his fingers had dragged along my thighs. I couldn't think of the way his full lips devoured mine, or how he had breathed my name, for when I closed my eyes, that was all I could hear.

They very though of Jacob followed me like the black plague since he had kissed me. I felt like a pariah, holed up in my house and scouring over Charlie's books in the hopes that I wouldn't think about the fiery touch that he had. I didn't want to be consumed by the thought of him, but with every minute passed it seemed harder to ignore.

And so my entire life became Charlie's disappearance. I went to a few of the last places he had been seen, except for Billy's of course. I wouldn't dare to go back to La Push, not after last time.

"So you saw him, buying bait?" I asked Mrs Newton, cocking a brow.

Mrs Newton nodded, a sad smile on her lips. "Yes, dear. He came in wanting to buy bait for the Saturday. Charlie, and Billy Black always went out on a Saturday. Have you tried talking to Billy Black?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he's not very helpful."

"Oh, dear, I'm so sorry," She said, shaking her head. "Ever since the man lost his wife, he's been a bit of a hack. God, even when Chief Swan wanted to arrest that Uley boy Billy stood up for him. Said somethin' about how that boy was the good of the tribe, although I can't think it did him much good when he got his girlfriend killed."

"I thought Emily was attacked by a bear?" I asked, leaning forward.

Karen Newton was a gossip. Karen Newton liked to talk, whether it be about rumors, hearsay, or just pure lies. Unlike Tiffany Call, who seemed desperate to have someone to listen to what the La Push gang had done to her son, Karen just spoke because she liked the sound of her own voice. I felt sorry for her son, Mike, who despite his smiles would surely have to endure his mothers own voice.

I wondered, while I was listening to her rave about the curiosities of Forks, if she had any hobbies. I could imagine that Karen Newton was very much like Lauren Mallory, or Jessica Stanley when she was in high school.

"She was," Mrs Newton said, before she let out a laugh. "Officially. But the Uley boy was the one who led her out into the woods. They have witnesses that say that he came out of the woods alone, didn't even think of the girl he had left in the forest."

"Maybe they had a fight," I began.

Mrs Newton scoffed. "Sam Uley and Emily Young were a scandal, I'll tell you that, Bella. Do you know who Leah Clearwater is?"

I shook my head 'no'.

"Leah Clearwater was Sam Uley's fiancé, and Emily Young's cousin," Mrs Newton told me. "One day, when Emily was visiting, Leah introduced them and two weeks later Emily was moving in to Sam's house, and Leah had been dumped."

"That's … horrible," I murmured, wondering why she was telling me this. "But what does that have anything to do with Emily Young being attacked by a bear?"

Mrs Newton shrugged. "I don't know too much details, dear. All I know is what people tell me, and a lot of people like to talk about what happened to the Young girl. Even your father thought it was strange."

"He did?" I questioned.

"Mm hm," She hummed, nodding. "The chief didn't like to talk about the cases he was investigating, but whenever the Young case was brought up, he made it very clear that he didn't think a bear had mauled Emily Young."

"Then why was it ruled that way?"

Mrs Newton shook her head. "I'm not too sure, dear. Maybe you should ask Deputy Regan about it, although I'm pretty sure he won't tell you much. He didn't share the same view as your father."

"He thought she was actually mauled?" I asked, cocking a brow.

Mrs Newton nodded. "A lot of people do. Now, did you need anything else?"

I realized, then, that the conversation was effectively over. I shook my head as she gave me my change for my new boots, and offered me the bag. As I grabbed it, Mrs Newton offered me one last smile. "And Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"The day that your father came in here, he was asking me for to get an address for him."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Why would you need to get him an address?"

Mrs Newton passed me a folded piece of paper, her eyes downcast as her perfectly manicured hands passed me it. "Because I'm the only person who knows where _he_ lives."

I took the piece of paper with confusion, before I was ushered out of the store.

XXX

 _532 Portage St, Neah Bay, Washington._

I didn't expect to be driving to Neah Bay on Christmas Eve.

With snow sticking to the road, it had been a slow journey on my part. I knew I probably should have left the journey until after Christmas, but I couldn't stop myself. When I had looked at the address, and had known it was so close, nothing could have stopped me from getting in my car and making the long drive.

The Makah Reservation was slightly bigger than La Push – existing between the beautiful forests of the Olympic Peninsula and the moss covered cliffs that took the brunt of the oceans anger. It was a beautiful place, or so I had been told with the quick Google search I had done.

Emily Young had come from the Makah reservation.

Emily Young had lived there all her life.

I knew that, as when I had made the quick Google search, the article that popped up included Emily's name. Emily was born in the Makah reservation, to Paul and Jennifer Young. Paul and Jennifer Young had two other children: Richard, and Kelly. Richard had his own family, while Kelly was only just starting High School. The family had been inseparable.

Paul and Jennifer Young buried their daughter in the cemetery where the rest of her family was buried. It had been a simple service, attended by everyone that Emily had touched. That meant that the funeral had been filled to capacity, with the attendees flowing out the doors. Emily Young had been loved by everyone she had met.

Or so the article claimed.

I prepared myself for the sight of Emily Young's parents. I prepared myself for Emily Young's brother. The person whose house I was driving to had to be related to Emily, in some way or the other. The person whose house I was driving to was someone who my Dad was interested in talking to.

 _532 Portage St, Neah Bay, Washington,_ was a small cabin. Faded pink slats were spattered by rust, and a bright green door seemed to be the only thing that gave the house any sort of character. A rust bucket of a car sat in the front yard, snow piled on it's roof. A truck was on the other side of the pathway, half filled with things from the junkyard.

This was the not the house I expected.

I expected a house with a wrap around porch, and a SUV sitting out front. I expected the sight of a Christmas tree to be glowing through the window, filled the brim with Christmas presents. I expected the smell of Turkey to be filling the air, even from the front yard. I expected a house suitable for the family of Emily Young.

Not this.

Rubbing my chest, where the hole was gaping open, I told myself to get out of the truck. The small house shouldn't look as intimidating as it was, but for me, it was everything I wanted to avoid. _Just get out of the truck, Bella,_ I told myself, blinking at the sight of the house. _Come on, Bella. Just get out._

Pushing open my door, and grabbing my jacket, I began to move towards the front door. My teeth gnawed at my bottom lip as I came to the vibrant green door, wanting nothing more than to run back to my truck. This didn't feel right. This didn't feel good.

I raised my hand to knock, only to hear the sound of a mans voice. Stumbling back, I shook my head. _No, I need to leave,_ I thought, turning back to my truck. I never should have come here – I never should have driven here. Why did I keep doing this to myself? Why am I even here? Charlie's gone. He's been gone for a month, and a half. If he wasn't back, he wasn't going to be.

"Hey!"

I froze, the sound of a gruff voice pulling me from my internal rant. Oh god. The person whose house I had stumbled upon had caught me, snooping. "Hey, curls! Turn around."

I looked over my shoulder, my breath catching in my throat.

I had seen few pictures of Sam Uley. The pictures I had seen were mainly in one of the Quileute books Charlie had. Every day, as I scoured through the Quileute words, I would find more hidden pictures. It was like Charlie had photocopied pictures from files – probably from Emily's file.

Sam Uley was a monster of a man. In the pictures I had seen, one taken from the funeral, and one from a bonfire, he was like … Jacob. He was a bit smaller in height than Jacob was, but every bit as intimidating. In the picture taken at the bon fire, Sam Uley had looked happy. He didn't look like the man from the funeral. Instead, he looked like a completely different person.

The picture was dated 2002.

Sam Uley looked half the size of the man in the funeral image. He was less beefy, and less dark. He definitely wasn't as tall, or as troubled. Sam Uley looked like the teenager he was, rather than the man he had become by 2005. In the image at the bon fire, Sam had his arm around a gorgeous woman, who had looked at him like mere mortals stare at the sun. The girl wasn't Emily Young. I could only assume that the girl, who wore a sparkling ring, was Leah Clearwater.

In the picture taken at his girlfriend's funeral was that of a different man. In this picture, he was the monster. When I imagined what destruction was, I imagined that image of Sam Uley. He didn't look like a man who had killed his girlfriend – far from it. He looked like a man who had _been_ killed.

The man that stood in the doorway of the pink house looked every bit the inch of Sam Uley.

Add on twenty years.

"Hey, curls," He said, throwing me a smile. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

I stared at him, gaping. "I- my name is Isabella Swan."

"Swan," He echoed, his face crumbling as he glanced around, before motioning for me to come in. "Lets talk inside."

I nodded, scrambling to get inside. I brushed passed the man, still unsure of who he was and why I was here. Inside the pink house was a sloppy mans abode. It was small, and cramped. It seemed to be more of a storage unit than a home. Boxes were piled atop each other, hiding the walls from view and any photos I might see. The kitchen was cramped, and filled with dirty dishes. The sight of a frozen meal on the kitchen bench made me halt, before the man pushed passed me and put the remnants of the meal in the garbage.

I turned to look to the living room, spying a large TV that seemed way too extravagant to be in the small pink house. The orange couch was pushed up against the wall, but even then that didn't leave much room for leisure in the small living room. I glanced across the walls, looking for a picture, any picture, until I saw one framed picture. I took a few steps, before I was standing in front of it – my eyes wide as I saw the man, and a small boy with a mop of black hair and the same russet skin.

Sam.

"Sorry, it's not usually this messy," He explained, running his hand over his russet skin. "I didn't expect company."

"You're Sam Uley's father?" I asked, my eyes unmoving from the picture.

He nodded. "Joshua Uley."

"Joshua," I echoed, before I dropped my gaze. "I'm so sorry for intruding – I've just realized how rude this is. Karen Newton gave me your address."

Joshua smiled, putting his hands in his pockets. "Karen Newton? God I haven't seen her for a while."

"Are you friends or something?" I asked.

He laughed. "Or somethin'."

"I … my father was looking for you."

"Chief Swan?" He questioned. "I heard about his disappearance. My kids missing as well."

"Sam?" I asked.

He nodded. "And that's who you're here for, right?"

"No," I began, before I stopped. "I don't know why I'm here. I'm here because you were apparently of interest to my father and I want to know why."

Joshua shrugged. "I wouldn't know."

"Or maybe it's that your son is the one of interest," I murmured, before meeting his brown eyes. "Do you know why your son would be the interest of my father, Joshua?"

Joshua held my gaze, before he shrugged again. "I ain't seen my kid in two years. You think I know where he is? Ask his mother. Allison will be able to tell you a lot more about that kids whereabouts than I will."

"Allison?" I questioned.

"His mother," Joshua supplied. "My ex wife."

I nodded in understanding, before I asked my next question. "Joshua, do you think Emily Young was attacked by a bear?"

"Emily Young?" He repeated, before realization came over his face. "That's my kids girl, right?"

"Right," I said with a nod. "She was killed in June."

"I remember," He murmured, rubbing his hand across his chin. "You here 'bout her, then? 'Bout how she died?"

"No," I said quickly, before I second-guessed myself. "I don't know. Maybe."

Joshua chuckled. "The chief called me two weeks before he went missing. Somethin' about my _tribes_ legends."

He spat the word 'tribe' as if it was a curse word. "I've read some of them."

Joshua chuckled darkly. "I didn't realize pale faces could read our legends."

I flushed. "I mean, most of is in Quileute but some legends can be found on like, um, Google."

"You're not reading the right legends then," He said with a laugh. "Even your old man was digging deeper than Google."

"So you know the legends then?" I questioned.

"Pale faces aren't supposed to know," He spat, "but yes, I know the legends. I am an Elder, even if my own kid ran me from my home."

"What do you mean Sam ran you from La Push?" I questioned, my eyebrows furrowing.

"Sam's more valuable to the council than I ever was," Joshua said with a shrug. "Now that the council have their little prodigy, they don't need anyone with a bit of sanity."

"Prodigy?"

Joshua chortled. "Have you heard the legends before, Isabella?"

"I've read a little about …. about the Cold Ones," I murmured, meeting his eyes.

Joshua's head snapped up. "You know about the Cold Ones? Did they tell you?"

"No, they didn-"

"Then how do you know?" He asked, standing up. "How do you know about the Cold Ones?"

"My dad, he- my dad- I've been reading through my Dad's notes," I told him, gnawing at the bottom of my lip. "He has these Quileute books, and he has annotations in them. He wrote about the 'Cold Ones'."

Joshua Uley laughed. "This is meant to be trade secrets, and a little _Hokwat_ knows more than a lot of our own people. Listen to me carefully, Isabella. The Cold Ones live amongst us – Emily Young? A Cold One found her. And if you're not careful, they will come for you too."

"But what are they?" I questioned, almost frantic.

He chuckled. "Isabella, I promise you – you do not want to know."

"I don't?" I asked, standing straighter. "Try me."

Joshua Uley shook his head, running his hands through his hair. I analyzed him then, looking from the spots of sun that plagued his skin to the signs of aging that had caught up with him. His face crinkled, at times, like an un-ironed shirt – wrinkled and pruned. I wondered how old Joshua had been when Sam was born, for he looked a lot older than he should.

It was when I spotted the overflowing trashcan of beers. I averted my eyes quickly; not wanting to intrude more on this mans lifestyle. I just needed to know what happened to Emily Young – maybe it would help me find something about Charlie. And at the moment, Joshua Uley seemed like the best bet.

"You know, my kid isn't a bad guy," He slurred, shaking his head. "Sam was never bad, not like his ol' man. Allison made sure of that. My kid was a good boy, always a good boy. I was always in and out after Allison and I divorced, but when I was there, I could see how the council treated my kid. We're as full blooded as the Blacks or the Clearwater's, and yet they have the nerve to look down on _my_ son. And then he changed."

"He changed?" I asked. "To what? A Cold One?"

Joshua choked on his laughter. "You need to study the legends closer, _Hokwat._ If you don't, you won't know a thing about our tribe or what happened to your daddy."

"So you think what happened to my Dad had something to do with Sam?"

Joshua shook his head. "Your daddy went missing a month ago, curls. My kid hasn't been seen since June."

"But people think Sam hurt Emily," I began. "And you even said that Emily- that a Cold One found her."

"If I could place a bet, I'd say your daddy was taken by a Cold One," He said simply, his words a slap in my face. "You need to leave, Isabella. It's Christmas Eve, and it's getting late. I wouldn't want you to be driving in the dark."

"Just answer this," I said. "Was Emily Young killed by a bear?"

Joshua Uley remained silent.

And silence was more of a confirmation than his words ever would be.

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"Bella!"**

 **I had been at the grocery store the first time Alice Cullen had spoken to me.**

 **I turned at the sound of my name being called. I had only ever heard that sort of voice before, and it had belonged to a Cullen, so it didn't take me much to deduce who was calling me.**

* * *

 **A/N: It's Monday! Hope it answers a lot of your questions, or maybe gives you more questions. I'll see you guys on Friday.**

Hokwat: It's a Quileute word for 'outsider', or someone that isn't Quileute.


	9. Chapter IX

**Part I, Chapter IX** : Explosions

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?_  
 _Can the child within my heart rise above?_  
 _Can I sail through the changing ocean tides?_  
 _Can I handle the seasons of my life?_

 _Well, I've been afraid of changing_  
 _'Cause I've built my life around you_  
 _But time makes you bolder_  
 _Even children get older_  
 _And I'm getting older too_

Fleetwood Mac - Landslide

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **"Just answer this," I said. "Was Emily Young killed by a bear?"**

 **Joshua Uley remained silent.**

 **And silence was more of a confirmation than his words ever would be.**

* * *

 **BELLA**

"Bella!"

I had been at the grocery store the first time Alice Cullen had spoken to me.

I turned at the sound of my name being called. I had only ever heard that sort of voice before, and it had belonged to a Cullen, so it didn't take me much to deduce who was calling me.

Alice Cullen came dancing down the bread aisle with a grin on her lips and a flower in her hair. She almost seemed excited to see me - as if we actually had a friendship to speak of. She acted as if our relationship, and when I say relationship I say it loosely, was anything more than the casual meeting of eyes in the hallway. But nevertheless, she seemed excited to see me.

I felt like she wanted to embrace me, but she held herself back – as if she was pacing herself. Alice Cullen had said nothing more than two words to me in the past. Correction; she had once asked me for a tampon while we had been in the bathroom. I had readily offered her one, before making my way back to class. And that summed up our relationship.

"Hey," I said with a small smile. "Alice, right?"

She _beamed._ "You remembered!"

"Of course," I said with a shrug. "It's not hard to know who the Cullens are, after all."

Alice laughed, a tinkling thing of such melody that I wanted to bottle the sound and sell it on the side of the road. "Funny. Why are you shopping on Christmas Eve? That seems pretty depressing."

I evaluated her question, wondering if she had heard herself. "Um … probably the same reason as you are."

I didn't think I would ever compare Alice Cullen to myself. But as she heard my response to her semi-ironic question, Alice Cullen's smile dropped and her eyes lost the brightness that they usually had. Her eyes fell to the floor, and her lips began to move, as if she was muttering to herself. And yet it was too fast to catch on.

I had always noticed that Alice was slightly weirder than the average Forks student. I had spoken to her brother, Edward, barely, and yet it was enough to deduce that even Edward wasn't as socially awkward as his sister. I almost felt sorry for her when I saw her sitting by herself, staring into space. Almost being the key word; I couldn't feel too sorry for a girl that beautiful.

I watched her in shock as she rubbed her arm, shifting her eyes as she tried to avoid my stare. The awkwardness practically sang between us – hovering over us like a heavy blanket.

"Alice? Dear?"

Alice's head snapped up at the sound of her name being uttered. A woman with the same pale skin, and the same golden eyes came towards us then. I was almost blinded by her beauty – the insecure part of me wondering if I should just go die now. The woman who was walking towards us looked a little bit older than Alice, but her face showed no sign of age. It was the way she carried herself, and the way she smiled that made me wonder if this beauty could possibly be Alice's mother.

Or adoptive foster parent. Whatever the Cullens were.

The woman, who I could only assume to be Dr Cullens wife, wore a purple frilled blouse that was tucked into a beautifully knit skirt. Thick stockings covered her alabaster legs, while boots that would keep her warm came to her knees. This woman screamed Hollywood starlet, from the way her lips resembled a heart to the way her caramel hair curled against her pearlescent skin.

"Mom, this is Bella Swan," Alice said, almost forcefully. "Chief Swan's daughter."

The lovely woman's golden eyes softened, and the look came over her face. It was the same look I had seen overcome everyone; the look that screamed 'we know about what happened to your Dad and it sucks that it happened but we hold no hope to the possibility he's still alive'. Yeah. That look.

She outstretched her hands to mine, both of her gloved hands embracing one of mine. "Oh, Bella, I am so, so sorry about your father. My family and I all think the most of Chief Swan, I hope you know."

"Thank you, Mrs Cullen," I said with a smile, balancing my basket in my other hand. "That's very kind of you."

"Please, dear, it's Esme," She murmured, offering me a bright smile. "Alice and Edward have said such high things of you, so I'm glad to finally be meeting you."

"Oh," I said, shocked. "Well, that's also … kind."

Esme, like her daughter, seemed way too excited to see me. It almost unnerved me to know that these two strangers could ever be excited to see me. Especially in a grocery store.

"Do you have anyone staying with you for Christmas, Bella?" Esme asked, a smile still on her lips.

I motioned to the chicken roast in my basket. "Only the chicken."

Alice giggled, overly enthusiastic while Esme smiled indulgently. "Not even your mother?"

"I had to beat her away with a bat," I said. "My Mom would just want me to go back to Arizona, and I don't- I can't do that just yet."

"So you'll be staying until graduation, right?" Alice questioned, her golden eyes imploring mine to answer.

I shrugged. "Hopefully I'll figure out everything with my Dad before then, but yeah, I'll be staying for a while."

"And what about College?" Esme inquired. "Surely you'll be applying?"

I shrugged, again. "College isn't high on the agenda at the moment. What about you, Alice? Are you heading off to college?"

Esme beamed, just as her daughter had done ten minutes prior. "Alice has received an early acceptance to Dartmouth. And Edward is heading there as well, I think."

"You think? Has he not decided yet?"

Alice laughed. "Edward was thinking about something European. He claims American colleges are just an excuse to get drunk and party nowadays."

Alice's freely given information about Edward made me laugh. "Well, he's sort of right."

"Don't ever tell him you said that," Alice giggled, "or he'll think hold it over your head forever."

I smiled. "I'll be sure not to mention it."

Esme eyed the chicken in my basket again, her wide golden eyes meeting mine once more. "I feel awful, Bella – no one should have to spend Christmas alone."

"Don't worry about it, seriously," I said with a wave of my hand. "I've never been big on Christmas, anyways."

"You could always come to our house, Bella," Esme suggested, to which Alice seemed to suppress a squeal at. "Christmas is Alice's favorite holiday. We'd love to have one of her friends over."

"I wouldn't want to intrude," I said quickly, the thought of dining with the Cullens almost nauseating. I didn't want to be close to Edward Cullen for the fear of embarrassing myself further. "Honestly, I actually have a lot of stuff to do and I kinda like being by myself."

Esme looked like she wanted to say more, but Alice put her hand on her adopted mothers arm. "Don't pressure Bella, Mom. She's probably had enough of our interrogation."

I flushed, almost embarrassed that I was that predictable. "No, really, you've both been really lovely. But I should probably get back – this chicken won't cook itself."

XXX

 _'I'd say your daddy was taken by a Cold One'._

In my father's annotations, he claimed that a Cold One was the villain of Quileute legend. A Cold One was a bloodthirsty creature with incredibly strength and supernatural speed. A Cold One had heightened senses, similar to that of the most lethal of predators. A Cold One was something to be feared – it was something that even my father had thought was real.

I had thought of an animal. Maybe the _Cold One_ was a metaphor. Maybe Deputy Regan had been right to rule Emily Young's death as something caused by a bear. Maybe the Cold One was a bear. I turned the page to my father's notes, my eyes going to the image on the left page. The illustration demonstrated a Cold Ones attack on the tribe, or so my father had thought.

I scoured the image, looking over the careful strokes to the vivid details. The image's vibrancy had faded with time, and it almost seemed like it had been painted directly into the book. My finger traced the details, from the tribes people's sorrow drawn faces to the body they knelt around. It was a young woman that had captured the tribes attention – her black hair covering her face and a quilt covering her body. The only thing that could be seen was an arm.

An arm that had been bitten.

Or at least that's what it looked like.

My eyebrows furrowed as I traced the bite – a bite that almost looked human. An odd sense of déjà vu came over me, before I thought back to the pictures I had hidden from sight.

"Oh, my god," I gasped, before scrambling to my Dad's room.

Slamming open the door, I pulled the drawer from the nightstand and grabbed the pictures. With trembling hands, I turned them over, feeling my stomach roll with nausea. I flicked through the images with bile crawling up my throat, and with a pounding head, needing to find the one picture that I had recognized.

There it was. A bite.

When I had first seen this picture, of Emily's detached hand, I had vomited. This time, as I looked at the torn flesh that I had tried so hard to repress, I didn't vomit. Instead, I felt an odd sense of achievement. For there, in the space just after her wrist and forearm, was a bite.

Just like the one in the legends.

"A Cold One," I murmured, my eyes wide as I looked up from the picture.

A Cold One had killed Emily, that I was sure. Another thing I was sure; Sam Uley had killed his girlfriend. Which meant that whatever Sam was, and whatever _Jacob_ was, had everything to do with the villain of their tribe. I felt my breath coming out in panicked gasps as my lungs seized. Oh god. Oh, my god. Jacob – Sam – all of them were Cold Ones.

I scrambled to the bathroom, and ejected everything I had eaten in the past twenty four hours. I heaved, the bile coming quick and thick as the sight of Emily's hand, of Jacob's lips, of Sam Uley's devastated eyes, consumed my thoughts. Again and again I heaved, my lungs begging for release as my muscles contracted.

My cheek felt cold against the toilet seat, tears trickling down my flushed cheeks. Everything was so fucked up. I knew now what Jacob meant when he said his life was fucked up. What had I been thinking when I came here? I never should have come back to Forks. I never should have started looking.

Pushing myself to my feet, I grasped the sink – my tired eyes meeting my reflection. I stared at the girl in the mirror, wondering what had happened to her. My hair stuck to my face; lifeless and knotted, while my brown eyes – my father's eyes – were framed by purplish bruises that indicated how well I slept.

I shook my head at my own reflection, splashing water on my face before I heard the sound of the oven beeping. That would be the chicken. My stomach churned at the thought of food, but I went downstairs anyway. Turning the oven off, I leant against the counter as I thought back to the bite.

So, Jacob and his gang were Cold Ones. Sam was a Cold One. Sam had killed Emily, or one of the Cold Ones had.

They had taken my father.

They had … killed my father.

I closed my eyes at the thought, tears spilling from my eyes. And then my thoughts went to Jacob. Jacob, the man whose eyes haunted me while I slept. Jacob, the man I had _kissed._ My stomach churned at the thought, and I wanted to throw up again. The thought that Jacob was one of them, was something that was so evil it had done _that_ to Emily Young, seemed so wrong that I could barely stomach it.

Jacob hadn't exactly treated me with kindness, but around him, I felt … settled. I didn't feel nervous, or clumsy, or even awkward. I was assertive, and confident, and everything I had never been. It wasn't as if we had much of a relationship to speak of, but Jacob was something better than what my conclusions had led me to. He had to be.

He couldn't be a monster.

I needed to see him.

I needed to see him _now._

The journey to La Push was as quiet as it always had been, but this time, anxiety overwhelmed me. I didn't know what I would say to him, or if I would be able to say anything to him. A part of me – the smart part – screamed at me to turn the car around. What if I was hurt? What if Jacob hurt me.

 _Inhale._

I thought back tot h way he looked at me, or the way he whispered my name. I thought back to the way he had held me when his lips had ravished mine. I thought back to the way he smiled, for what seemed like the first time in months, when we were talking. He wouldn't hurt me. I knew that.

 _Exhale._

The sight of the little red house beyond the trees was enough to make my fingers tremble. _Inhale._ I tried to focus on driving, but I couldn't when I saw _them._ The Cold Ones. _Exhale._

Turning the key, I jumped from my truck as I summoned whatever courage I had left within me.

"Jacob!" I bellowed, my rage knowing no bounds.

He turned at the sound of my voice, his eyes almost expectant as I charged toward him. "Bella?"

"You've got a _minute_ to tell me what happened to my Dad," I snarled, pushing my hands against his bare chest. Behind him stood a collection of men that looked just like their leader – tall, broad, and menacing.

"Want us to get rid of her, boss?" One of them asked, and I glared at him before I turned my eyes back to meet Jacobs.

With my hands on his chest, I felt a calm go through me – as if the rage was just melting away with every second spent in his presence. _No,_ I thought, _no he doesn't get off that easily._

"Get rid of me?" I echoed, a laugh escaping me as I realized that my assumptions had been real. "Is that what you did to my Dad, Jacob? Is that what Sam did to Emily?"

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, little girl," One of them snarled – his face twisting in anger.

I laughed, pushing passed Jacob to stand in front of him. "I think I do, jackass. I paid a visit to Joshua Uley this morning."

"You did _what_?" Jacob snarled, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me in front of him.

I squared my shoulders. "You weren't telling me shit, and I told you I wasn't going to give up-"

"So you visited an old drunk," Jacob drawled, shaking his head. "A man whose liver started failing a year ago and who hides out on the Makah rez because he's too scared of us to come back here? What did he tell you Bella? Did he tell you about our legends? Or did you question him about them?"

My cheeks flushed as I stared up at him, my eyes narrowing as I felt hatred pool in my chest and bubble. I had thought Jacob Black was different than Sam – I had thought that maybe he was misunderstood. I was very, very wrong. And oh I hated him – I hated what he had done to my father, and what he had done to Emily Young.

I hated how I felt around him. I hated how he looked at me. I hated _him._

"Just tell me what happened to my Dad, Jacob," I spat, wanting nothing more than to punch him. " _Please_."

For a second, a mere second, Jacob looked at me as he did that day in his kitchen. He looked at me with a gentleness, a softness, that made me want to melt into him. That day, when his lips had found mine, he had held me like a parched man. That day, he looked at me like a man who had been asleep for the past two years and was finally awake.

And then it was gone. Just like it had been that day.

My hands were still on his chest, and his hands had come to cover mine – pushing me away from him. And then it made sense.

"You don't want me near you," I began, "because you don't want to hurt me. You said yourself that you didn't want me to be like … to be like Emily. You don't want to hurt me, Jacob."

He flinched, the sound of his name on my lips causing him to stumble back. "You'll _never_ be like Emily."

"Because you won't hurt me, right?" I questioned, my heart hammering. "Like you hurt my Dad? Like you hurt Emily?"

"We _saved_ Emily," One of the boys snarled. "She was dying anyways."

"So you did kill her?" I asked, my eyes wide. They were actually admitting it. Oh my god, they were actually admitting it. I was right.

"Paul!" Jacob bellowed, his face twisting in anger. " **Do not say another word.** "

"No, no, Paul, you keep talking," I said, stepping forward. "Did you decapitate her, then, Paul? Were you the one who tore her head off?"

"Bella-"

"No, you shut up," I snapped back at Jacob. "I need answers. I need answers _now._ "

I turned back to Paul, a hysterical smile on my lips. "You can tell me, Paul. Tell me what you did to Emily Young."

"That's enough, Bella."

I turned at the sound of Billy Blacks voice, my fists clenching as I saw the old man. "Enough? I haven't even started."

My heart pounded in my chest as I heard the echoing agreements of the rest of the men around me. Telling me to leave. Telling me to go home. I turned back to Jacob, whose eyes were fixed on the ground.

"You're not even going to look at me, then?" I asked Jacob, cocking a brow.

"You need to leave, Bella."

I shook my head, hatred consuming me as I glared at him. Moving back to where Jacob was, I grabbed his jaw and pulled his head up – refusing to leave without him at least meeting my eyes. I forced myself to look into his charcoal eyes, the eyes that I could so easily get lost in, when I spat the words.

"I hate _you_."

And that was when everything exploded.

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **JACOB**

 **I was fourteen when I first phased.**

 **I could still remember what it felt like. I could still remember how my muscles felt new, spasming and vibrating as I stumbled through the house. I could remember how I heard my Dad's voice … from a mile away. I could remember how the smell of pine, and tobacco overwhelmed me like never before. It was as if everything around me was suddenly magnified, and I was victim to**

* * *

 **A/N: It's not Friday, but guess who got 100 reviews! I did! Thank you all so much, I can't express how much I love every one of your reviews. I'm not going to respond to your reviews just yet, one because I'm exhausted and two because its not my usual update day! I just want to tell you guys how much I appreciate your reviews. But just to clarify, in the first chapter I said that after the first ten chapters the story would shift POV but I've changed my mind. The next chapter will be Jacob's POV for nine chapters, and then it will alternate. Hope that clears something up, but you guys should be excited because now that we're in Jacob's POV you will be able to find out EVERYTHING! I'll see you on Friday xx**


	10. Chapter X

**Part 2, Chapter X** : Wild

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I don't own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _Leave this blue neighbourhood_  
 _Never knew loving could hurt this good, oh_  
 _And it drives me wild_

 _'Cause when you look like that_  
 _I've never ever wanted to be so bad, oh_  
 _It drives me wild_

 _You're driving me wild, wild, wild_  
 _You're driving me wild, wild, wild_

 _You're driving me wild_

Troye Sivan - Wild

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **"You need to leave, Bella."**

 **I shook my head, hatred consuming me as I glared at him. Moving back to where Jacob was, I grabbed his jaw and pulled his head up – refusing to leave without him at least meeting my eyes. I forced myself to look into his charcoal eyes, the eyes that I could so easily get lost in, when I spat the words.**

 **"I hate _you_."**

 **And that was when everything exploded.**

* * *

 **JACOB**

I was fourteen when I first phased.

I could still remember what it felt like. I could still remember how my muscles felt new, spasming and vibrating as I stumbled through the house. I could remember how I heard my Dad's voice … from a mile away. I could remember how the smell of pine, and tobacco overwhelmed me like never before. It was as if everything around me was suddenly magnified, and I was victim to it.

I could still remember how my nails, sharpened and refined, had torn into the wood of the kitchen bench. I had screamed. I had cried. I had begged for death. But death never came.

Something worse did.

Becoming a wolf is unlike anything I had ever experienced. My skin felt on fire, and my mind? My mind was unraveling. My mind was spinning, and everything that I knew about myself was soon becoming void. Jacob Black, as I knew him, ceased to exist after that night.

Sam called it becoming the wolf. Once you phase, there will be two of you. Permanently. There's you, the human part of you, the part that has logic and memories. And then there's the wolf, a feral being separate from who you are, and who you ever will be. But the wolf was a part of you – the wolf was as much you as the human part.

And that was disturbing.

The first phase was the worst. My bones, tired from the growth spurt that had seen me go from 5'11 to 6'7 in a few months, stretched beyond natural reason until I broke. Figuratively and literally, my skin stretched too far that my bones would puncture outward and break, again and again. 206 bones in the body, and each one would break with the phase.

My genetics had cursed me to a half-life. One half of my life was normal; I went to school, I hung in the garage, I fought with my sisters. My life was normal. And then everything changed. My genetics had sentenced me to become a freak; an animal that even nature rejected.

Our wolves didn't resemble normal wolves. We were designed to kill the supernatural, so of course we mirrored our enemy. We resembled bears in height, and width but we were undeniably wolves. Our teeth were made to tear at marble skin, our paws made to rip leech's heads. We were, in every way, the perfectly made killer.

The wolf was dominant. The human become second.

After the phase was the worst. Our human bodies, stretched too far and too thin, struggled to adapt to the phase. Trembling fingers with uncontrollable strength behind them, and a jarred mind that could hardly transition from kill mode, was what you were left with. On top of that, you were bare of clothes because of course American Apparel didn't make clothes that would survive the phase.

I almost laughed at that thought. I barely survived the phase; I couldn't imagine some American Apparel piece of shit shirt surviving it. Most of my clothes now were jeans I had torn apart, and a few pairs of beat up sneakers.

"So, do you get it?" I asked, looking to the newest recruit.

His name was Collin Littlesea, and he was thirteen. The kid viewed this whole thing as an adventure – as if we were some sort of superhero's. He was overly enthusiastic, reminding me of Seth Clearwater. I had had to pull him out of his biology class before he had phased in the woods behind the school.

He was my Aunts kid.

Another boy lost to the La Push gang.

That's what they would say of course. There were ten of us now – ten freaks that were imprisoned in this hellhole because of our genetics. Well, there were ten of us. Now, there was only nine.

"Yeah, Jake," He said, nodding enthusiastically. "I think I got it from that weird mind thing we did."

I nodded, knowing how overwhelming the pack mind could be. Being Alpha magnified it by ten, even in human form. I couldn't hear everyone's thoughts as I could when I was my wolf, but I could still sense them. If I focused enough I could hear the buzz; the sound of each pack members heart beating. "Get used to it, kid."

"So I wasn't imagining that, then? Vampires and all that shit, its real?"

I nodded, looking over my bike. "Yep."

"Awesome," He murmured, his eyes wide as he looked over my bike. "But I can't tell anyone."

I shook my head. "No. Your parents will be informed by the council elders, to explain why you won't be seeing them for the next month."

"I won't be seeing them for the next month?" He repeated, his eyes wide. "Why? Why can't I see my Mom and Dad?"

It was then that it became jarringly obvious that Collin was, and is still, nothing more than a child. A child who didn't want to leave home, or take on the responsibility of what it really meant to be a wolf. He might think it cool now, when everything is new and amazing, but when reality hit, it would be hard. Children shouldn't have to deal with this.

"You're too unpredictable," I explained gently. "I can't have you phasing in front of your Mom because she told you to take the trash out. It's too dangerous."

"But you said my Mom and Dad are gonna know anyways, so what will it matter?" He questioned, confused.

Emily Young's face sprung to my mind.

"It matters," I murmured. "Trust me. Do you remember Emily Young?"

XXX

"Hey, boss!"

I looked over my shoulder to see Embry stalking towards me, a smile on his lips. I couldn't understand how he still smiled – his mother had threatened to kick him out last night. And he had come close to hitting her. Embry Call, the kid who had once been afraid of hurting a butterfly, had nearly phased in front of his mother. And it wouldn't have been a mistake.

No, Embry had wanted to hurt his mother. Embry had wanted to grab her by the hair, and throw her against the wall. He would never admit so, but in that moment, he had wanted to kill the woman who had raised him. Embry was tired of the constant nagging, of the constant questions. The decision had been made, when Embry had first phased, that no non-Quileute should know the secret.

And that included Tiffany Call.

When I had become Alpha, I had told him he could tell his mother. Parents should at least know where there parents were going at night, I had thought, but Embry refused. He said his relationship was too far gone to recover now.

Embry had tried to hide his thoughts when I had dragged him from his home, his mother sobbing. He could hide them from the others, if he concentrated, but I was his Alpha. He couldn't hide his thoughts, or emotions from me. I guess that was a sick advantage of having the entire tribes safety on your shoulders. It didn't matter, anyway; I didn't have to be a wolf to know Embry was on the verge of hurting his mother.

I had felt it all the way from my room, at my own house, as I tried to sleep. The rage, the hatred, the resentment, I had felt all of it. And Embry's mother's voice had been screaming inside my head, screaming for answers, screaming for her son, and screaming for herself.

I nodded in greeting, turning back to my bike. The thing was falling apart without my attention, and as of late, my attention had either been on sleeping or on the pack. Being Alpha wasn't exactly a 9 to 5 – it was every day, every minute, every _second_ of my life. I couldn't turn it off, unless … I stopped myself from thinking about _that_ , not wanting to remember his thoughts, or his actions.

"Bike still fucking up?" Embry questioned.

I gave a gruff nod. "Yep. Fucking Leah pushed it over on Tuesday after we caught that trail and I think she loosened one of the bolts."

"Shit," Embry said, before he flopped down on the ground next to me. "How's Collin?"

"Sleeping like a baby," I said, motioning to the house. My house had become where the pack slept, ate, fought, etc. It had become pack, and pack meant that it was shared. Like everything in my life.

"Brady too?" Embry questioned.

I shook my head. "Nah, I put the kid on with Paul. He's a bit too cautious – I'm hoping Paul can rile him up a bit, maybe make phasing in a bit easier. He's struggling to phase in-"

"Yeah, Jared was saying."

"You seen Jared?" I questioned, sighing as I felt the tremors in my hand, the screw that I was holding falling from my hands. "Fuck sakes'."

Embry watched as I grabbed a smoke, and lit it – putting the small cylinder between my lips and lighting it. The side effects of the phase this morning were still hard to shake off, and the tremors didn't help anything. I was practically crippled, and it fucking _infuriated_ me. I couldn't do shit – I couldn't even work on my own bike anymore because I couldn't hold a fucking screw.

"Yeah, I saw him this morning," Embry carried on, knowing I didn't like to focus on the tremors. "Fucking prick was chasing his tale 'cause Kim's angry at him."

"Again?" I asked. "What the fuck did he do this time?"

Embry shrugged. "I dunno, you know how imprints are Jake. She'll scream because he fucked up and then he'll be fucking her by tonight, and we'll have to endure it for _days_."

I narrowed my eyes. "I am well aware of how an imprint works, Embry."

Embry's expression deflated, and his shoulders slumped. "Fuck, Jake, I'm sorry."

Jared had imprinted on Kim in history class. She had been crushing on Jared for years, and took the whole wolf thing well. Until it became reality. That was what happened with most of our wolves – the first two weeks were amazing. New senses, new strength, new body. And then you start to notice the tremors after the phase, or the irritability that lasted for hours, no, days after you phase. You begin to notice the fact that your body will be set off at the slightest of anger, the slightest of panic.

You notice that sleep no longer comes easy, and when it does, you're dreaming as the wolf. Any smell is overwhelming, and food is all you want. And there is the kill – the chase of the leech's. It would be fine if our lupine senses, designed to kill those that come on our land and threaten our people, were only used then. But hours after the chase, you still weren't satisfied unless you _killed_.

I was a fucking animal, we all were, and nothing could glamourize that.

Despite this, Kim had stuck around. Yeah, things were hard, but she loved Jared – completely and utterly. With every ounce of her being, Kim loved her wolf; she breathed for him and he breathed for her. His every thought led back to her, and while it annoyed the other wolves, I understood.

On the 12th of July, 2004, I had imprinted on Isabella Swan.

Isabella Swan, the daughter of the chief of police, was my imprint. I had been in wolf form at the time, and coming home from patrol. It had been easier back then – I was just one of the wolves, and Sam was in control. Being a wolf wasn't easy, but then, it was easier. Being Alpha magnified every lupine sense, and forced you to confront it daily.

She had walked from the house, her shoulder length hair flowing in the breeze and her cardigan pulled tightly around her torso. She wore jeans, and scuffed converse, and her face – her beautiful, flushed face – had been screwed tightly as the wind hit her face. I knew she was the one from the moment I had smelt her. Freesias and strawberries had consumed my mind, and my heart had pulled in my chest. The wolf had decided that had whoever smelled like that was his mate. His imprint.

Her chocolate gaze had met mine, and then I was tied to her, forever and always. When Sam had explained imprinting to me – the rare occurrence of finding a 'soul mate' – he had said it was like feeling gravity for the first time. She was gravity. Nothing held you to the Earth anymore but her; sanity, love, life, they all belonged to her now.

I had laughed when he had first told me about gravity. I couldn't laugh about it now. Not after what happened to his imprint.

"Billy says she's coming back, Jake," Embry murmured, meeting my eyes. "She's coming back for Charlie, boss."

I shook my head, my fist clenching around a pipe. "I won't see her. Not after what happened."

"You're not Sam, Jake," Embry said. "She's your imprint – you can't deprive yourself of her. If you see her, maybe your wolf will feel better. You're jacked up, constantly – when was the last time you actually slept?"

I shook my head, throwing the pipe at the wall. "Don't you understand, Embry? It doesn't _matter_. I need to keep her safe."

"Sam made one mistake," Embry murmured. "One mistake, Jake."

"One mistake that got his imprint _killed_ ," I snarled. "It got her _bitten_. He knew there could have been leeches there, and he still fucking risked her. They had been teasing us for weeks, ever since we got that blonde motherfucker."

"It could have happened to any of us-"

"He was the ALPHA!" I shouted, turning to Embry. "He was the Alpha, and he was _blinded_ by love. He went willingly into that forest because Em wanted to have a picnic. A fucking picnic! He could have told her no. He could have explained that because we had fucked off those vamps by killing the blonde, it wasn't safe to be off the reservation. He should have listened to his instincts, and to his gut. His wolf should have been alert and instead it was thinking about its imprint. It got her killed, Embry. I won't bring Bella- I won't sentence Bella to this shit of a life."

"Jake-"

"And then he wouldn't even finish it," I spat, my hatred for what happened, for what haunted me, flaring up. My hands trembled violently, and I shook my head. "I need to phase."

"Go," Embry said, nodding. "I'm sorry, Jake."

I didn't hear anything else before I burst out of the doors, exploding from my skin. I could hear the faint buzz of Paul and Brady, amplified now that I phased. I ignored their questioning thoughts, blocking them from my mind as I ran through the forest. I darted through the woods, jumping from lug to dirt – my paws digging into the earth as I listened.

I could hear the water from the stream, and the birds high in the pines. The faint sound of a radio blaring from the highway infiltrated my mind – some rap song filling the air. And then there was the sound of human voices, a woman and a man locked in an argument. She wanted to have purple curtains but he thought it was too gender specific, or some crap like that.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was lurking in the wood near the Swan house. I could still see the yellow tape around the yard, prohibiting the prying eyes from seeing the crime scene. I could no longer smell Bella here, but when Charlie was still here, sometimes she'd call and I'd hear her voice.

 _God, Jake, you're beginning to sound like Jared,_ Paul snickered, and I wondered why I had him around.

 _Fuck off, Paul,_ I sneered back, not wanting _Paul_ to draw away from her.

 _Gag me, fuck,_ Paul snarked back, _See, Brady? This is the shit you have to put up with. At least he's better than Sam was._

 _Hey,_ I warned, not wanting this to become another argument about the Sam.

 _Look, Jake, I'm sorry, but it's not like we can avoid the subject forever,_ Paul thought, _but you know we can't control our thoughts and sometimes I think back to Sam. It's not like we can ignore what happened._

 _Of course we can't ignore what happened,_ I growled, _I think about it every second of the day, so can you please shut the fuck up?_

Brady was quiet, but I could hear his thoughts coming at me like a train. I could feel his curiosity, and his want to see our own thoughts. He wanted to see what Emily looked like … after. I couldn't bare to think of it, the horror of what we had done – what I had done – it was too much.

But it was too late. As soon as Brady had thought it, Paul was thinking it. He was remembering what we had done to our friend. I could see the memory playing out, could hear Emily's screams, could hear Sam's. I could hear Sam begging for death, and I could hear Leah sobbing.

 **Enough** , I ordered, my own mind reeling as I heard Brady vomiting, _he's seen enough, Paul._

 _Sorry, Jake,_ Paul thought, guilt consuming him.

I shook my head, hushing him. It wasn't Paul's fault – of course it wasn't Paul's fault. It was mine. It had been my fault. I never should have- it's always my fault. _Don't think about it,_ I thought to myself, suppressing the tremor that went through me. I could hear Paul assuring Brady that this was normal – that because I was Alpha, I felt things more intently.

Fucking understatement

It was then I heard it; the sound of a car tumbling down the street, and the sound of breathing. Her breathing. The part of myself I had suppressed for so long, the part of myself that belonged to _her_ , was alive and screaming to be let loose. The wolf was pacing, no, the wolf was prancing with excitement. It practically sung ' _she's back'_ in my ear.

I got as close as I could, but that still wasn't close enough. I could hear Paul shouting in the background, telling Brady to get the others, but I didn't' care. She was here – after a year without her, she was hear. Almost suddenly I could breathe again – just the knowledge that she was here, safe, and in my protection was enough to have my wolf purring.

She was wearing the same converse as the year before, but this year, her hair was tumbling past her shoulders and to just below the swell of her breast. She was wearing jeans again, and a thin cotton T-shirt. She should have been wearing a jacket – it was way too cold out for her to be wearing just a simple shirt. Even she seemed to feel the cold, as her hands absentmindedly stroked her bare arms.

She eyed the truck out front before ducking under the yellow tape, her wide chocolate eyes searching the house she had once called home. I could barely control myself, let alone stop myself from bounding over to her. I phased out, suppressing the scream of pain that rippled through me as I snapped back into human form.

As soon as I took a step, naked and purring, I felt two hands wrap around my arms, holding me back. I snapped back, a growl still stuck in my throat as I stared at Embry and Jared. "Let me go."

It wasn't an alpha order, but it was enough of an order for Embry to flinch. Jared, as my beta, wasn't so easily moved, although he too looked unnerved at disobeying his Alpha.

"Jacob," Jared said. "You don't want this. You don't want to be near her, remember? Remember what you told me, Jake."

I remembered then.

I had been coated in blood, Emily's blood, and had been trembling from my head to my toes. It was half from taking the command from Sam, and half from what I had just done. I had been crying, sobbing actually, and Jared had forced me to go back home. Out of everyone who had been there that day, he was the only one who could look at me.

He had gabbed a hose, and washed me of the blood that had labeled me a killer. He had commanded me to take the Xanax, and had given me clothes. Jared was my best friend, that day, and also the best wolf out of all of us. In my drunken state – drunk on grief, drunk on power – I had slurred a command to Jared.

 _"Never let me near her,"_ I had said, choked on my sobs. " _I can't ruin Bella. I won't. Don't let me do to her what Sam did to Emily."_

"She's my imprint," I spat, wanting to forget what I had commanded of Jared.

"And I'm your Beta," He spat back, pulling me back. "If you truly, truly want to go see her, we'll come with you. Okay?"

I nodded, but my wolf was snarling. He didn't like that Jared was ordering me around – he was the Alpha, **not** Jared. I tried to hush him, focusing on Bella instead. I was almost bursting with eagerness, until the sane part of me reminded the wolf that Bella was not safe around us. Bella could not be around me.

 _Breathe,_ I told myself, trying to suppress the wolf inside me.

I was going to see Bella.

And I couldn't contain myself.

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **Jacob Black," She said, her eyes widening. "You're Jacob Black, aren't you?"**

 **Her words were a dagger to my heart, and a treat to my wolf. He yapped and pranced, before settling. I felt like screaming – no, my wolf couldn't settle. My wolf had to constantly be alert. My wolf had to protect the tribe. I had to protect my tribe. _I_ had to protect Bella.**

* * *

 **A/N: IT'S FRIDAY! And we have Jacob's POV! Did you guys like it? Does it answer some of the questions? I'm so excited to be sharing this with you! Please give me some feedback, I'm dying to know what you think :)**


	11. Chapter XI

**Part 2, Chapter XI** : A boy, a man, a wolf.

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I don't own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _'Cause I've done some things that I can't speak_  
 _And I've tried to wash you away but you just won't leave_  
 _So won't you take a breath and dive in deep_  
 _'Cause I came here so you'd come for me_

 _I'm begging you to keep on haunting_  
 _I'm begging you to keep on haunting me_  
 _I'm begging you to keep on haunting_  
 _I know you're gonna keep on haunting me_

Halsey - Haunting

* * *

 **Previously:**

 ** _Breathe,_ I told myself, trying to suppress the wolf inside me.**

 **I was going to see Bella.**

 **And I couldn't contain myself.**

* * *

 **JACOB**

The second time Bella had truly seen me, she looked at me with fear.

When I had been the wolf, she had looked at me with wonder. Stunted shock, and maybe even excitement, but there had been no fear in her eyes when I had imprinted. The second time, however, she had been agape with fear. Nervousness was steaming off her, rolling through the room where her own father had been taken.

I could still smell the stench of bleach and vinegar. It burnt my nostrils, even if the trail was weeks old. It hung in the room, heavier than the cloud cover above the tiny town of Forks. The room looked nothing like what it had been when Charlie had been taken – I could distinctly remember the carnage that the leech's had left when they had abducted Charlie Swan.

The wolf howled as I surveyed Bella's nervousness, but I knew then that my imprint was smart. She had every reason to be scared of me – she _should_ be. We were monsters; shackled to a place of addiction and poverty, and to a body that transforms into an animal. I couldn't put her in danger, not like Sam had put Emily. No, I wouldn't allow that to happen.

I told her she shouldn't be here, and she had responded snarkily. Embry had been shocked by the sight of Bella – he had seen her too many times to count in my mind, and the woman that stood in front of us had grown up from that girl. And yet she still looked the same, her eyes still held the same warmth.

 _Snap out of it, Jacob,_ I told myself as my fingers trembled. Clenching my fists in an attempt to hide how my body yearned for her, how my wolf yearned for her, my words came out toxic. I didn't want her here, no matter how much my wolf may sing at the sight of Isabella Swan.

She shouldn't be here. She couldn't.

When I had first imprinted, fourteen and barely old enough to jack off without the fear I'd be caught, and a newly phased wolf to boot, I had adored the thought of imprinting. I had been a hopeless romantic, and Bella had walked into my yard – and right into my life – five days after my first phase. I was a boy, pretending to be a wolf, pretending to be a boy.

And then, just like that, she had left. With little to no care for my heart, or how it yearned for her, she went back to her life in Phoenix. I had been devastated; no, scratch that, I had been fucked up. The imprint was unlike anything I had ever experienced before – when I said she was gravity, I truly meant it. Without her near me, or close, I was barely holding onto this Earth. Without her, I became someone unlike the boy Jake Black was.

Without her, I had become Jacob Black – Alpha, Chief, and another fucked up native kid. Without her chocolate eyes to watch, I became nervous and irritable. Without her pink lips near, my wolf became a ball of anxiety and rage. Without the scent of strawberries and freesias to fill me, I had become everything they expected me to become.

I had once asked my Dad why a lot of the kids on the Rez became what the outsiders wanted them to become. I couldn't get why they became pill popping, beer drinking, crack snorting fuckers who dropped out of high school, bred, and lived on the Rez until one day their heart or liver gave out. He, in his infinite wisdom, had just informed me that life was hard sometimes.

What a crock of shit that was.

Imagine turning into a giant animal, a canine with lupine instincts that overwhelmed you at every second, and then to top it off, to imprint on a girl that lives thousands of miles away and doesn't even know you exist. A 'hard' life would be an easy one for me. I lived a life that could barely be considered fucked up; it was a life that belonged on animal planet.

I was a boy, pretending to be a man, when really I was a wolf.

When I was a kid, the same kid that looked at the others on the Rez with distain, I had promised myself I wouldn't become like the fuck ups of the reservation. I couldn't even keep that promise to myself. I was the leader of the fucked up brigade. I couldn't last a day without popping my dose of Xanax; fuck, I had to find a fucking _dealer_. I went through the pills too often, too much, that the bitch of a therapist I was going to had told me I should have a break.

When I had become the wolf, Sam had told me that the only way I could survive was by dropping out. And so drop out I did. I told myself, at the time, as the two weeks high kicked in, that this was a good thing. I didn't like school anyways – this way I could get a kick start on the garage and actually start my life.

It neared two years, and there was no garage.

How could there be when my entire life was the pack? I barely had enough time to fix the cars brought to me from people who wanted a cheap fix, let alone give the cars the attention they needed. I had once thought, after imprinting on Bella that my life would include her, but after Emily, I knew that my life didn't have a space for Bella Swan. Bella Swan deserved to be with someone who could get angry with her, and not explode into a giant dog. Bella Swan deserved to be with someone whose genetics wouldn't subject their children to a life of being trapped to the reservation.

Bella Swan deserved more than me.

Even if my wolf had chosen her.

I told myself that I just needed to see her. I needed to see how her chest rose and fell, or how her cheeks warmed with life. I wanted to see Bella warm with life, and _safe_. When I had first imprinted, I thought Bella being in Phoenix was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Now, all I wanted for her was to go back to Arizona – far from the tiny corner of the Earth where the supernatural lurked.

I just needed to see her safe, and then I would leave – never to see her again. I could do that. I _had_ to do that.

But then she recognized me.

"Jacob Black," She said, her eyes widening. "You're Jacob Black, aren't you?"

Her words were a dagger to my heart, and a treat to my wolf. He yapped and pranced, before settling. I felt like screaming – no, my wolf couldn't settle. My wolf had to constantly be alert. My wolf had to protect the tribe. I had to protect my tribe. _I_ had to protect Bella.

Embry started talking about her hair, or some shit like that, while I stopped myself from collapsing on the floor. I just wanted to hold her; I wanted to inhale her scent, and hold her to my chest. I wanted to see her smile, and be so close to her that I could see the freckles on her cheeks. So, so beautiful. So fucking beautiful. Fuck, I wanted her.

Sam had given in to Emily. Sam had sentenced her to death. I couldn't do that. The Alpha couldn't be weak.

"It doesn't matter why she's here," I said, shutting Embry up from rambling. Taking a step forward, I felt a smile spread across my lips as I inhaled her scent. Strawberries and freesias. Fuck me if that wasn't the most beautiful smell I had ever smelt. _Just say it, Jacob. Tell her to leave._ "Just know, Isabella, that you won't find what you're looking for. Go back to Arizona, where you belong."

She flushed, and I almost came. "I'm not scared of you. You can't scare me."

"Good," I murmured, my finger trembling as I knew this was the last time I would see her. _Touch her,_ the wolf begged me, violently shaking with anticipation. And then, ever so carefully, my russet finger came and brushed against her ivory skin – pushing a raven curl from her peach cheek. _Fuck me._

"There are a lot scarier things than us in the forest."

As I walked away, and into the forest, I told myself to keep it together. But when we got into the shadows the forest provided, I collapsed on to my knees.

"Hey, Jakey, you're okay, you made it through," Jared said, hiking me up. "You're okay, man."

I could barely breathe. My wolf was screaming; it was clawing at me from the inside, screeching to get out. But I wouldn't let it – fuck him. Fuck the wolf. I wanted to grieve, and he could wait ten fucking minutes.

"So … beautiful," I got out, before I succumbed to darkness.

XXX

I dreamt of Bella Swan for a week.

I had barely slept in the past year, and I had gotten used to my barely there sleep schedule. I had gotten used to the sleepless nights, and the tossing and turning. I had gotten used to it a long time ago.

But this week, for the first time in a year, I _slept._ I properly slept. Like I could have been ran over by a fucking freight train and I would have still slept. And when I was in that world of unconsciousness, I saw her face. From her beautiful, flushed cheeks, to her wide chocolate eyes; she was all I could see and I didn't want to leave her again, even if that meant never waking.

The guys had taken my patrols for the first three days. Jared had claimed it was so I could get some sleep, but I knew the real reason – he didn't want the others seeing my fucked up, 'my life fucking sucks' thoughts. He could remember what I was like the last time, and so he was probably saving the others from their Alpha's fucked up life.

I popped a Xanax, waiting for my hands to stop trembling. I got like this when I didn't run. The adrenaline that coursed through me, ready for the kill, hyped me up way too much and there wasn't even a fucking vamp near by. I shook my head as I grabbed a bite of my sandwich, the turkey sub bland as I swallowed it.

"Morning, boss," Jared said as he rubbed the back of his neck, coming out of Rachel and Rebecca's old room – now officially the packs campground.

I gave a nod. "Morning, Jared. Patrol okay last night?"

"Fine," He said with a nod. "Those nomads haven't been back in a few weeks, not since Charlie."

I winced. "You can't ever mention his name to Bella, you know?"

Jared rolled his eyes. "Like I would be that fucking dense."

"She would hate me," I mumbled at the thought of Bella learning what happened to her own father. I could barely admit it to myself. "She _should_ hate me. Maybe I should tell her – that'll get her to go back to Arizona."

Jared sighed. That was the thing about Jared; he didn't approve of my attitude towards my imprint. But he had Kim, and he wasn't the fucking Alpha. Every thought belonged to Kim, and while he did a good job as Beta, he wasn't as focused as an Alpha needed to be.

"Jake," Jared began.

"I don't need to fucking hear it, Jared," I spat, shaking my head as I grabbed my smokes. Dad had gotten over me smoking inside after the first month, and now he didn't really mention it anymore. I lit up, feeling the relief of smoke in my lungs. "It's my decision. I need to keep her safe."

"She'll be safer with you, Jake," He said with a shrug.

"That's what Sam said about Emily," I said. "And then he let a vampire bite her."

Jared flinched. "Sam wasn't born to be Alpha. He was too hyped up; he couldn't handle it. He was never meant to be a leader, Jake. He was never meant to have that power."

"But he did," I muttered. "And it didn't do him any good, in the end, did it? Look where he is."

"I know where he is, Jake," Jared snapped. "I had to fucking burry him."

"Oh, great," Quil said as he entered, the smile slipping from his lips, "we're talking about this then?"

"We," Jared motioned between us, "are talking about it. You can go fuck off, Ateara. What the fuck did I say about switching patrols without alerting Jake? You think you can just switch with Brady? He's been a wolf for three weeks, you fucking numb nutz."

"Hey, no need to be negative," Quil said as he stole the rest of my turkey sub. "I'll text Jake before I do it next time."

I sighed, glancing at him. "No next time, Quil. Brady's thirteen. When I tell him to patrol, he'll patrol, but every time someone wants a shift off doesn't mean he's your bitch."

"Sorry, boss," Quil said with a shrug.

"Just fucking think next time Quil," I snapped, exasperated and exhausted. "Those two leech's keep getting the hikers. They got Charlie because we got that blonde fucker of theirs. They're gonna come back, and that's why I want to extend our patrol to Bella Swan's house."

Quil snorted. "Fuck, Jake, you just lectured me on switching patrols for my own convenience and now you're wanting us to be Bella Swan's bitch?"

"Hey," Jared snapped. "Lay off him, okay? Bella Swan is pack. She's the Alpha's chosen. If you want to be stuck with morning shifts for the rest of the fucking week, then stop fucking speaking."

Quil shook his head. "Listen, Jake, Bella Swan is in Forks. It's neutral ground, but you think the Adams family are gonna want us sniffing around the town?"

"They can fucking _deal_ ," I snarled, slamming my fist down. "They fucked things up enough, they can let me protect my imprint."

Jared nodded. "I'll get on the boys about working out a patrol schedule for Bella's house."

"Thanks," I mumbled, before I glanced to Jared. "You hiding out from Kim?"

"Never," Jared said, a smile overcoming him. It was the smile of a man blindly in love. "She's up in Port Angeles for the day. Her Mom wanted her to have a day 'to herself'."

Quil scoffed. "Is she still trying to convinced Kim that you're a crack snorting abuser?"

Jared nodded, the smile escaping as he was confronted with reality once again. "Yep. She found me in Kim's room the other night, and called the cops on me. She said I was a predator. Fuck, Kim and I are the same fucking age!"

"Is that what the cops said?" I questioned.

"I hightailed it outta there before the cops came," He said with a shrug. "Although I guess I didn't exactly need to with Charlie no longer sniffing around."

"Jared," I warned, before I sighed. Guilt overcame me as I thought about Charlie Swan. Another failure as Alpha. Another failure as Chief. Another failure as wolf.

"The red headed bitch led us on a fucking chase," Jared said, noticing my guilt. "And the one with dreads fucked up Paul for two weeks to get to Charlie. How were we to know what was happening to Charlie?"

"We're supposed to protect humans," I snapped, shaking my head. "And we couldn't even protect one. It's fucking pathetic."

Even Quil had the decency to look ashamed. We all should have been, but at least the others had the relief of knowing they weren't the Alpha responsible. I had made the call to put Paul on Forks duty, and I had made the call to take Embry off. If I had just left Embry on with Paul, _maybe_ they would have been able to protect Charlie from his fate.

 _Maybe._

"We can't save them all, Jake," Jared said as he put his hand on my shoulder, to which I shrugged off.

"I know. But we should have been able to save _him."_

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"She was here?" I asked my Dad, my voice sharp.**

 **Dad looked up from a book, and gave a small nod. "Yes, son. She came by asking about Charlie."**

* * *

 **A/N: IT'S NOT MONDAY! Sorry, I had friends over yesterday and I didn't have time to put up a chapter. Enjoy this one today! See you on Friday!**


	12. Chapter XII

**Part 2, Chapter XII** : The Sun

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I don't own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _No matter how sweet the salt_  
 _We push so hard we finally broke_  
 _Oh, no more apologies need be exchange_  
 _Oh, no words could ever help relieve this pain_

 _All our silence could not excuse_  
 _Disappoint or further prove_  
 _Anything other than what we already know_  
 _Easier to live a pain than have to let it go_

MR MRS - All The Things Lost

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **"We can't save them all, Jake," Jared said as he put his hand on my shoulder, to which I shrugged off.**

 **"I know. But we should have been able to save _him."_**

* * *

 **JACOB**

The smell of strawberries and freesia's hit me as soon as I walked into my house.

I was almost crippled by the smell, holding on to the wall for balance. Oh, god. Bella had been here. Bella was here. I inhaled again, feeling my wolf scream with joy at the smell. Fuck she was here; fuck she had been in my house. I could imagine her now, in her tight fucking jeans with those dirty ass converse. Her hair, of course, would be flowing down her back in those delectable curls she natural had.

And she would be blushing. Oh, god she would be blushing.

I wondered if she had done that thing with her nose; the thing I had noticed when I last saw her. It was like a nervous habit, but her nose always seemed to screw up when she was angry. I felt myself warm at the memory of her in her fathers house, staring at me with such fear and anger that she had screwed her nose up at me. She was so perfect. So. Fucking. Perfect.

I felt myself harden at the thought of her – the wolf begging me to claim her now. That was all he wanted, of course; he wanted the knowledge that she was here, in our arms, _safe._ The wolf wanted to make her his – he wanted to claim her and have her screaming my name. The wolf shivered at the thought, as did I.

But I couldn't do that. I never would.

"She was here?" I asked my Dad, my voice sharp.

Dad looked up from a book, and gave a small nod. "Yes, son. She came by asking about Charlie."

The news was enough to make my wolf howl in displeasure. She wasn't here for us. I knew she wouldn't be here for me, of course, but the confirmation was still something that caused disappointment to consume me. No, she was here for the man we had failed to protect. God, she was going to hate me when she found out. _She won't find out,_ I told myself, the thought of having to tell my imprint that I had failed to protect her father was something I couldn't bear to even contemplate.

And there was the selfish part of me that told me that as my imprint, she would accept it. She had to. She was mine. She was destined to be mine by the spirits; if she was destined to be mine, it must mean I was destined to be hers. So surely that should mean she would be a forgiving woman, even if the forgiveness I was asking for

But it didn't matter.

I wouldn't risk her life for my own selfishness.

"Of course she was," I mumbled, feeling the anger rolling off me in waves.

"She won't find out, Jacob," Dad said, his voice soft. "Not unless you accept the imprint, and tell her."

"I can't do that."

Dad didn't approve of how I went about things. He had warned me, after I had announced my decision to the council, that ignoring the imprint would only anger the spirits. They had chosen Bella Swan for me, and so I should acknowledge that. I told him the spirits could go fuck themselves. For all I cared, the spirits were sadists who simply enjoyed ruining the lives of boys who weren't even old enough to drink legally.

"It's a mistake," He said, shaking his head.

I scoffed. "Sam made the mistake. I'm just dealing with the consequences."

"Sam was different, Jacob," Billy snapped. "Sam was not born of Alpha blood, and did not have the power to balance being an Alpha with being chosen worthy of an imprint. He made a mistake, taking Emily into those woods, but we all make mistakes. I made a mistake in letting your mother drive the car that night. I made a mistake in not telling you to step up as Chief when you first phased. I made those mistakes, and I can admit them-"

"Your mistake didn't kill Mom, Dad," I retorted. "A drunk driver did, and bringing her into this conversation is _irrelevant_."

"Irrelevant?" Billy repeated, his voice flat. "Your mother could never be irrelevant in this house."

"Well, she is in this conversation," I shot back. "This is about Bella – remember her? Charlie's daughter? Fuck, we couldn't even protect Charlie, how the fuck would we be able to protect Bella, Dad? How the fuck would we ever be able to protect Bella when a leech could distract us so easily? Answer me that riddle, Dad."

"Jacob," Dad began, his face enraged. "I know you are Alpha, and Chief, but I will not tolerate that."

"You won't tolerate it?" I questioned, a bitter laugh on my lips. "You'll have to learn to, old man. Because your fucked up sense of duty is the reason I'm in this position in the first place."

"You can't blame me for the phase, Jacob," Dad said, his brown eyes glaring at me. "It's genetic-"

I growled, smashing my fist against the wall and puncturing the drywall. "GENETIC? Then why the _fuck_ didn't you get me away from here if you _knew_ that the leech's would trigger it? You _knew_ and you let me become this- this fucking animal!"

"Jacob," Dad repeated, only to be silenced by my claws tearing into the couch.

Control. I needed control. Being in this half state – torn between wolf and man - was too dangerous. I almost laughed at the thought. 'Man'? I was no man. I was fifteen fucking years old, in the body of a twenty five year old. I wanted to be a teenager again; I wanted to be the lanky thing I had been before, when I was simply just Jake Black. I didn't want to be a fucking dog anymore.

When I was like this, it was easy to forget that I was a man; that I was Jacob Black. All I could feel was rage – rage at my father, rage at myself, rage at the wolf. Anger was the only thing that fueled the wolf; complete and utter rage was the only thing that the wolf could acknowledge. Anger was what tempted the wolf from hibernation, and calm was the only thing that would banish it again. But when you're constantly on edge, jacked up by testosterone and lupine instincts, calm was hard to come by.

It was my father's eyes that forced me to find my calm. My father had always been a strong man – even before he had lost his legs due to his own fucking carelessness, he had always been strong. And yet in this moment, my father – my own fucking Dad – was terrified of me.

"I'm sorry, Dad," I bit out, trying to control the trembling. Where's my Xanax? I needed my Xanax.

Dad watched me search frantically for the pills I needed, before he sighed – his eyes still wary. "Taha Aki would not have needed those pills to remain calm."

"Shut the fuck up, Dad," I snapped, going to the kitchen cabinet.

But he continued. "It's because he was blessed by the spirits with his third wife – his imprint. She calmed him more than any drugs ever could. You refuse Bella, and you refuse yourself a normal life."

"What are you saying, Dad?" I snarled, turning back to him. "Are you saying that the only way I'm ever going to be rid of this fucking curse is by claiming her?"

"By accepting her, yes," Dad said with a nod. "She is what your wolf needs to be calm, and content. Without her, you are deprived of that."

I put the pills in my mouth, swallowing. "I'll learn to adapt."

And that was the end of it.

XXX

"What happened to Emily Young, Jacob?"

I had found her interrogating Tiffany Call.

Although interrogation was exactly the right word for what Bella was doing to Tiffany Call – Tiffany was giving her the information willingly and forcefully. I wanted to shake the woman, and I almost did when I heard Emily's name brought up. Fucking hell. Like I needed Bella asking more questions about Emily.

Bella stood before me, her hair wildly caught by the wind. She was so … angry, with me. Her anger was nothing compared to what the wolf needed, but she was angry. Her nose was scrunched, and her cheeks were flushed. She resembled a furious tomato; a very beautiful furious tomato.

"She was mauled by a bear."

The words were so familiar I hadn't even had to think about the lie. That's the conclusion the police came to, and so we ran with it. That's what the Young family had been told, and that was what they believed. The truth would kill them. The truth was too gruesome, and too much for anyone to know. Even thinking of it made my stomach churn, and I had been the one to do it.

I could still hear her screams. I could still hear Sam's sobs. I shook my head, not wanting to think about it in front of Bella. She didn't deserve to see me as the monster I was; or maybe that was the only thing that would deter her.

"I've seen what she looked like, Jacob," She snapped, stepping forward. "A bear doesn't do that."

 _No._

As soon as she had stepped forward, coming closer to me, I could feel the panic clawing up my chest. No, she couldn't be near me. What if I got angry? Of course I was going to get angry – she drove me insane. She couldn't be near me. She couldn't become Emily. _No, no, no._

I didn't realize I spoken out loud, until I saw the rejection on her face. I wanted to promise her it wasn't her fault – it never would be her fault. It was mine, all mine. I wasn't good for her. It wasn't safe for her to be around me.

"Jacob?"

We talked, or maybe bickered was the right word. I managed to stay calm, for when I was around her, staying calm was as easy as breathing. Sure, she fucked me off, and I got angry, but it was like … it was like the wolf was submissive when she was around.

I wondered if it was her smell, or her blush that calmed me. But it soon became obvious that it was neither. It was the sound of her heart beating steadily in her chest, each beat allowing me to breathe for the first time in a year and a half. I felt at peace, irrespective of how ridiculous that sounded.

And then, just as I was thinking that I could deal with her, she touched me.

She reached out, and grabbed my hand. I had never felt something so soft in my entire life. I wanted to cradle it in my own two mammoth hands, and trace the lines of her palm. I wanted to touch her, so badly. But I couldn't touch her. It wasn't safe to touch her.

"Bella," I whispered, trying to tell her to let go. But I couldn't. She was my mate – chosen for me – how could I possibly ask her to leave?

Her cheeks flushed at the sight of my eyes staring at her, and I wondered if there could be a more beautiful sight. Fuck, she was stunning. I just wanted to … to feel her. To touch her. One touch couldn't hurt, right? Inhaling deeply, my fingers trembled as I brushed a curl from her cheek.

 _Now leave._

I told her to leave, and to not come back. With every word I said, my wolf shook with anger. And then, as she climbed into her truck, she said: "There will always be something in Forks for me."

I watched her drive off, taking my heart with it.

It took an hour before I got a call from Paul, who had been patrolling. He had seen Bella's truck on the side of the road, with her in it. I wanted to run there, but I was quickly reminded that I had to at least pretend to be human. So I took Dad's truck, knowing that Bella probably wouldn't approve of my bike.

When I had arrived, tapping on the window like the stalker I was, she had jumped, spilling the book she was reading from her hands. I got a glance of one of the pages – my girl was reading up on my tribe. _She's not your girl,_ I told myself, knowing I couldn't refer to her like that. If I did, there was a chance I could slip up.

She accused me of stalking, and I had responded by mocking her need to ask questions. As soon as I lifted the trunk, I knew what her problem was. The battery was dead. As soon as the words made their way up my throat, I squashed them. I just wanted a little bit of time with her, even if that meant squabbling over a shitty old truck.

I found myself … smiling around her. And it wasn't the sarcastic, bitter smile I was used to – it was a free smile. I felt like I did before the phase, and I hadn't felt like that for over a year. When I was around her, I felt the freedom to laugh, and smile, and _breathe._ And fuck did I breathe.

Around Isabella Swan, I felt human.

I didn't feel like a wolf pretending to be a man. I felt like a human. I didn't feel like that fucking animal; I felt so human that I could almost burst from my seams. I had been dead for so long, and without even knowing it, Isabella Swan had breathed life into me.

In the woods, beneath the hood of her trunk, I imagined what we could be. I imagined waking up to Bella, her mess of raven locks spilling over the pillow. I imagined Bella's smile in the morning, her face bare of anything but Bella. I would trace her freckles with my fingers, and would lay my lips on hers freely, without the fear of hurting her hanging over me like the plague.

I imagined her laughing at my jokes; they would be so fucking stupid, of course, but she would laugh. I imagined living my life with her. Isabella Black. The thought filled my already scorched body with a warmth only she could elicit from me. I wanted it so badly. I wanted it so much. Fuck, I wanted her.

It was when she mentioned the drugs that I had snapped out of the fantasy I had created for myself. "Oh, I don't know. Pills, powder, whatever your fix may be," She said with a wave of her hand, as if it wasn't a big deal. "You can't deny you're supplementing, right?"

"I can," I said, needing this conversation to be over. Now. "You're battery's dead. I've got my Dad's truck, so I'll jump it, but you'll have to drive it back to mine."

I watched as she drove behind me, my fists clenched around the steering wheel. I should have dropped her off at her house. I never should have suggested that she come to mine. Fuck, I was an idiot. Maybe I should call the boys to come babysit us. The idea was idiotic, seeing as I was Alpha, but my ego was not big enough that I would compromise Bella's safety.

And so I called in the babysitters.

I needed to make only one call, while driving back to La Push. Jared said he'd get Paul to sit outside the house, and he would be around the back in human form. At least it was an assurance that if I got too angry, or if I stepped one toe out of line, Jared would be there to protect her.

And it's not like she would be there long.

I would get rid of her as quickly as possible.

 _It wasn't safe for Bella,_ I told myself, _I wasn't safe for Bella._

We talked, like we had done at her car, but this time, she was in my garage – her scent consuming the small space. She asked questions I couldn't answer, and stared at me like she expected me to tell her everything. She was stubborn, I had to admit. Worse than me, definitely. She didn't believe me when I said that La Push was dangerous, nor did she believe me when I said _I_ was dangerous.

So I was just going to have to show her.

I led her to my house, knowing the carnage that she would see. Dad hadn't bothered to clean. Of course he hadn't; he had expected me to. I would have, if I wasn't so preoccupied lately. She couldn't even hold in her gasp as she saw the state of my house. Her brown eyes looked from the claw marks to the holes in the wall, her mouth agape.

"Jacob," She began, her eyes moving from each piece of destruction. "What happened here?"

"I told you it wasn't safe for you here," I murmured. "It's not safe for you to be near me."

"Do you want me to leave?" She asked.

"I need you to leave, Bella."

"You make no sense, Jacob," She snapped, shaking her head. "You invite me in, and then make me see what you've done to your house – why? Because you think it'll scare me? You helped me with my truck, I've known you since you were a child, I know you … I know you won't hurt me, Jake."

"You're wrong," I said, feeling myself lose every ounce of control I had. "You're so wrong."

And then I was kissing her.

Her lips were on mine and I realized that this was what happiness was. In her arms, I laid claim to all the times I had laughed, and all the times I had smiled. Happiness was a fickle thing, and while so many were preoccupied with being happy, I had come to the conclusion that happiness occurred in moments and could be sparse and wide. It wasn't an ongoing experience, but sporadic moments. True happiness was a high that some chased for decades; injecting artificial highs in the hope of supplementing it.

I knew happiness. It was a faint memory for me now, but I knew happiness. I knew it to be laughter, and working on my cars. I knew happiness to be the sound of my sisters voices, or the laughter of my pack. I knew what happiness was – in it's simplest form, I knew happiness. But after being deprived of it for so long, happiness had become something that was unthinkable. In my clouded world, happiness was the hidden sun that rarely made an appearance.

Her lips were the sun now, and I was basking in it.

Her hand snaked over my cheek as she pulled me closer – desperate for me. Her taste was intoxicating and I was a simple addict to it. My arms tightened around her as our lips melded together. This was foreign and exciting and so completely consuming. The wolf was begging me to take her right then and there, but I couldn't. Not when this was so perfect.

She surfaced for air, and then delved back – kissing me again and again and again. Breathless, I knew that I could never want air as much as I wanted her. I _needed_ to be close to her. I _needed_ to feel her warmth. And god, it felt so good. It felt like the sun, and the moon, and the oceans, and the stars. It felt like everything beautiful, but like nothing I had ever felt before.

And then I realized what I was doing.

Forcing myself to stop kissing Isabella Swan was one of the hardest things I had ever had to do. But I couldn't let this happen. My wolf was already going crazy. Fuck, I had already forced her up against a wall. I could hurt her so easily, how could I possibly be doing this? Fuck, fuck, fuck.

 _Weak,_ a voice said, _you're so weak, Jacob._

I told her to leave- no, I begged her to leave. My hands trembled at the withdrawal of her. I searched for my Xanax, only to hear her disapproval. I glanced a look at her, to see her glassy eyed and confused. What had I done to her? God, what I had I just done.

"You need to leave. It's too dangerous, Bella- I can't- you can't be Emily."

She refused, and then I forced a Xanax down my dry throat. I could feel the tears on my face, but I didn't both to feel any shame for them. As my trembling calmed, the withdrawals of Isabella Swan growing less and less as I calmed the wolf within. I grabbed my keys, and informed her I'd take her home.

The ride was a silent one, and I was glad. I don't think I could do this if she had asked me not to. I almost laughed at the thought – of course I wouldn't tell her goodbye if she had asked me to stay. I was weak for her. And I couldn't be weak. Not for Bella, and not for the pack.

"Stay away from the Rez, Bella. It's not safe for you to see … me."

She didn't say anything, but instead got out of my truck.

"Goodbye Jacob."

"Bye, Bella."

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"You kissed her?"**

 **"Shut up."**

 **"I can't shut up," Quil said, throwing his hands up. "You talk about this girl for the entire time you've been phased, imagining what it would be like to kiss her and you finally do it and you want me to shut up? Fuck off?"**

* * *

 **A/N: Hey ho it's Friday! I didn't really get much of a response from the last chapter, so I would really appreciate if you guys could tell me what you thought of this one :)**


	13. Chapter XIII

**Part 2, Chapter XIII** : Reality

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I don't own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _I was just trying to be cool_  
 _I was just trying to be like you_  
 _I'm a spark and you're a boom_  
 _What am I supposed to do?_

 _Mansion debut_  
 _Love it, do you?_  
 _Absent father_  
 _Pays his daughter_  
 _And her mama withdrew_  
 _From the life they once knew_  
 _She had a heart_  
 _But she sold it off for_

Troye Sivan - Cool

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **She didn't say anything, but instead got out of my truck.**

 **"Goodbye Jacob."**

 **"Bye, Bella."**

* * *

 **JACOB**

"You kissed her?"

"Shut up."

"I can't shut up," Quil said, throwing his hands up. "You talk about this girl for the entire time you've been phased, imagining what it would be like to kiss her and you finally do it and you want me to shut up? Fuck off."

"What are you talking about?" Collin asked as he came out of the spare room, scratching the back of his neck.

"Jake's non-kiss with Bella Swan."

"Quil," I warned.

"What?" Quil asked. "It's just a bit ironic, though, don't you think?"

"No."

"No, it's not ironic?" Quil repeated. "You finally get your kiss and now you can't fucking think about it?"

I sighed. "Quil ..."

"Wait, who did you kiss?" Collin asked, confusion contorting across his face. "Do you have a girlfriend, Jake?"

"No."

"He has an _imprint,"_ Quil sung. "She will be his girlfriend soon."

"Are you forgetting what we did to Charlie?" I muttered, wondering if he was that brain dead.

Quil scoffed. "We didn't do shit to Charlie."

" _Exactly_. We let him- we let them-" I sighed, shaking my head as I saw the car pull up with Paul driving it. "Oh, fuck."

"What is it?" Quil asked, looking glancing out the window.

"I need you to help Paul with two of the cars that got dropped off this morning," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "And there's the next car."

"How the fuck do you think we're going to survive this much work?" Quil asked, turning to me. "Patrolling and three cars?"

I narrowed my eyes. "I pay you, you fuck."

"Not for patrolling, though."

"The council pays you, you fuck," I said.

"Not enough," Quil mumbled.

I motioned to the door. "Get out of my house before I shove this cup up your-"

"Okay, I am leaving now," Quil said, before he stopped in the doorway. "Also, you owe me for Tuesday. I don't want to run tonight."

"You owed me for last Saturday," I said. "Now fuck off, and get out of my house – you're still running tonight."

"I hate you."

"Sure, sure," I said, before looking to Collin. "Have you ever worked on a car before, Collin?"

He shook his head, looking sheepish. "Ugh, not really."

"Well, a few of the boys and me work on cars to get some cash," I explained, "while some of the other guys are getting their GED. Did you want to go back to school, Collin?"

"Um," He began, flushing slightly. "I don't know."

"Well, you're younger than a lot of us were when we phased," I explained. "Seth is tutored by his Mom. I can ask Sue if she wouldn't mind if you and Brady were homeschooled."

"Jake?" Collin asked, almost hesitant.

"Hmm?" I said, looking up from the paperwork that was spread over the table. Although I hadn't started the garage yet, I still got a lot of work from the area. It gave me some cash – enough to get some of the guys working and to pay for the groceries.

"I want to see my parents," He said, before motioning back to the spare room. "And Brady does as well. It's been two weeks, and I feel like I've gotten better at controlling myself."

"You think you've gotten better?" I questioned, cocking a brow.

"Yeah- well, yeah I do," He said, nodding.

"Come on outside, Collin," I said, standing up. "I want to show you something."

For a thirteen year old, Collin looked like a man. We all did; we had reached peak maturity and yet we still had the minds of teenagers. Collin was hesitant, and yet enthusiastic in the same breath. He had past the two weeks of being amazed by the phase, and I knew that it was coming.

The want for things to be normal again.

The council had told Collin's parents about what had happened. After I had become Alpha, I had made sure that the information of the pack would be extended to parents. I had seen what Embry had gone through with his mother, and I wouldn't have any members of my pack going through the same thing. Sam had never understood why parents should be told – he said it meant more people could spill the secret.

He didn't care that when Embry went home, he would be greeted by his mothers tears and need for explanation. I had told Embry that he could tell his mother whenever he wanted, but he had refused. I think Embry was scared of what she might think – of what she might say. But I didn't push it. It was Embry's decision.

Collin looked over the yard, and I could feel his confusion gnawing at him. The place where I felt the pack, felt the buzz of hearts and the constant changing emotions, was dominated by Collins confusion.

"What are we doing out here, Jake?"

I had been inside Collin's mind a lot in the past two weeks. I had phased with him the majority of the time, and so I knew his inner most thoughts. I knew about the girl he kept thinking of, and the want to see her again. Her name was Abigail Jenner. She was from Forks, and Collin had met her in Forks library. I had told him that until he could control himself, he couldn't see anyone that he could hurt.

And the thought of Abigail had always frustrated him.

"This girl," I said, "that keeps calling you. Abigail, isn't it?"

"What do you want to know about Abby?" He asked, hesitant.

"You can't see her," I said. "You can't see her again, Collin. It's too dangerous."

His face contorted in confusion, before rage consumed him. He thought he was ready? He wasn't ready. Not yet. They never were.

"You can't make me stay away from her," He growled, his heart rate picking up.

"I can't?" I asked, stepping forward. "Watch me."

The fury rolled off him in waves, and it took twenty seconds of trembling – violent trembling – before the sight of Collin's patchy wolf looking at me. I shook my head at the sight of him, and as I met his eyes, he let out a small whimper.

"Do you see, now, why I can't let you go see your parents? You're not ready, Collin. If you get that angry over the mention of Abigail, then I can't let you see anyone you knew before. Your parents will ask you questions, and I can't have you phasing because you don't want to wash the dishes or because your Mom's nagging you. I'm doing this to keep people safe. I'm doing this to keep _you_ safe."

XXX

"Jacob?"

I gave a small smile. "Aunt Connie, can I come in?"

Connie Black was my father's sister. My Dad's family had always been close, and I had practically been raised by them after my Mom had died. She had her black hair tied behind her, and it was then I could see the resemblance between my Aunt and her son.

"How is he?" She asked as she closed the door, holding a dish towel to her chest.

"He's good," I said with a reassuring pat of the shoulder. "He's adapting as best he can to the phase. I tested him today, but-"

"Still no control?" She asked, shaking her head as she sighed. She turned to the back yard, giving a shout. "KEVIN? JACOB'S HERE!"

I heard a smack, and then a slew of profanities in Quileute. My Uncle came out of his shed, dusting the sawdust from his hair before he bounded into the house. He grabbed my hand, shaking it before bowing his head. "Chief Black."

"You don't have to do that, Kevin," I said, before I looked to Aunt Connie who had dropped her gaze.

"Of course he does," Connie murmured, her lips pursing. "Chief."

"How's my son?" Kevin asked, his brown eyes consumed with worry.

"Good," I said. "Adapting well. I dropped by to get some clothes – Collin wanted to see you."

"He did?" Connie asked, a smile lighting up her tired face. "I talked to him on the phone yesterday, but he said you wouldn't let him- can we see him, Jacob?"

Kevin put his hand on his wife's cheek, offering her a small smile as he saw the look on my face. "I don't think Jake's here because of that, dear."

"Of course," She murmured, before I heard her breath come through her lips faster. A tear spilled onto her cheek, and she let out a sob. "Oh, god."

Connie left the room, shaking her head as she went into her bedroom. I looked after her, while Kevin sighed. "I'm sorry, Jacob. She just misses him – he's- he's our boy. Our only boy."

"He's in safe hands," I promised, before I motioned to Collins room. "Can I get some things? He ruined his last pair of good shorts."

"Of course," Kevin said, the smaller man going into his sons bedroom.

Collin's room was just as a thirteen year olds room should be. Posters of Fast and the Furious were hung from the wall, and it was extremely cluttered. It reminded me of my room, before I had phased. I was sure, if I looked hard enough, I'd find a poster of some girl in a bikini.

I looked over to where his dresser was, and smiled at the sight that met me. There was Abby. I grabbed the photo, hoping that the picture might give him something to hang onto for the next few weeks.

"That's Abby," Kevin said with a fond smile. "I know Coll was wanting there to be something between them – she's been here a few times. Good girl, Abby is."

"I know who Abby is," I told him. "Collin doesn't stop thinking about her."

Kevin cocked a brow, his face eager. "Could- could Abby be an imprint?"

I glanced at Kevin, his enthusiasm matching Collins. "Imprinting is supposed to be rare. Only two of the pack have imprinted. I doubt Abby is his imprint – I think it's just a crush."

"But he will still be able to see her, right?" Kevin asked.

I sighed, wondering how much the council had really told them. "The reason Collin can't come back here is because of his anger issues. The wolves can't control themselves for the first few weeks, or maybe even months. Some of the boys are hot headed, while others have better control. It took me three months to _fully_ control it. I will not put a thirteen year old girl in danger, Kevin."

"Of course, Jacob," Kevin said with a nod. "Whatever you think is appropriate."

It hurt, to know how much these people blindly trusted me. Most of the tribe had noticed that I had taken over from my father; some had whispered that it was irresponsible to be Chief at fifteen. I agreed. Others had whispered that it was right that I was the Chief – when Sam had become Alpha, and subsequent Chief, he had refused to accept an official title. He had asked my Dad to continue to be the Chief because he knew the tribe wouldn't accept him.

But they had accepted me, even if some thought it strange.

There were 371 inhabitants of La Push. It was the smallest of small towns, but each and every inhabitant trusted the choices of the council, and it's elders. They viewed their choices as choices made by the spirits, and as such, it should be trusted. I had always hated that about La Push. The blind judgment, and the lack of questions wasn't exactly democratic.

"Collin really misses you," I murmured as I looked up at Kevin. "He may be a wolf, but he's still a kid."

"You all are," Kevin whispered, shaking his head. "We never- we never thought this would happen to our Collin."

"No one thought it would happen," I told him.

Kevin shook his head. "I respect you as Chief, Jacob. If the spirits deem you worthy then who am I to question it, but you are fifteen. You don't- there is so much for you to learn. You should still be in school."

I chuckled. "I know."

"Connie- she loves you, Jacob, of course she does, but she worries," Kevin admitted, his hand going to his long hair. Fidgeting. "You are young. Too young."

"I know," I said, again. "Believe me, I know. But there is no one else."

"I know," Kevin murmured. "I know. You know your Aunt Connie, Jacob, and you know how she is. She wanted me to make sure that Collin was okay."

"He is safe," I told him. "What we do is dangerous, Kevin, but I will always do my best to keep him safe."

"I know you will, Jacob," Kevin said, even if it looked like he didn't. "Did you want anything else?"

"No," I said with a shake of my head, grabbing Collins clothes and the picture. "No, this will be enough."

Connie knocked on the door, her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks reddened. She saw the clothes in my hand, stuffed into a plastic bag and she shook her head – taking the clothes from my hands. "Even if I can't see my son, I'll still fold his clothes for him."

I gave her a smile, and she responded with tired eyes, and a crumpled expression of defeat. Connie was hurting, more than I think she wanted to admit, and yet she insisted I stay for dinner. My Aunt would never say, of course she wouldn't, but there was some part of her and I didn't know how big that part was, that blamed me for taking her son away.

I was used to it by now.

"How was Connie?" Dad asked as I unloaded the four containers of food Connie had packed my car with.

"The same as usual," I responded, gruffly. "She cried, didn't say much, and made me dinner."

"So the same as last time," Dad surmised.

"That's what I said," I mumbled, before I yelled out to Brady and Collin who were playing on my Xbox. "Pups, dinners on the table!"

"Mom makes the best lasagna," Collin announced as they piled their plates up and up and up.

"No shit," Brady exclaimed, his mouth half full of food. "This is awesome stuff."

I put my Dad's plate in front of him, and grabbed him a beer. "Here you go, Dad."

Dad hummed a reply, before he motioned to the TV. "Mind twisting that this way, son?"

"Sure, Dad," I said, moving to the living room to twist the TV so Dad could see the game.

I cursed as I went through to Dad's room, and gathered up the washing he needed done. Grabbing his bedpan, I sighed – emptying it into the toilet and washing it out. I made the bed next, my gigantic body twisting unnaturally in my father's small room. Rustling through the sheets, I sighed as I saw the stains. Dad must have bedsores again.

"Dad?" I asked, going into the kitchen while holding up the sheets. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Dad's face crumpled, embarrassment flooding the old man. "Son, can we not? We have company?"

"They will know anyways," I snapped, pointing to the cheeks. "Fuck, Dad. You've gotta tell me about these things. I can't take care of them if you don't fucking tell me."

"Boy, I won't have you speaking those words in this house," Dad said gruffly, his eyes narrowed. "Now, I am a grown man-"

"That has ulcers in his legs," I snapped back. "I'm taking you to the Doctor tomorrow. He'll do a better job at dressing it then I could-"

"We can't afford-"

"Fuck, Dad, it doesn't matter," I growled. "I'll get the money. You need to _tell_ me this shit. It's for your health, Dad."

He must have heard the order in my voice, for he didn't resist. He gave me a nod, and I went back to cleaning. I was so mad – so infuriated by my father – that I scrubbed madly at the sheets enough to rip a hole in the cotton. I had been my fathers carer since I was twelve, but time hadn't made it any easier.

It never did.

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"How is she?" I asked, looking to Quil.**

 **"Not good, Chief," Quil murmured, shaking his head.**

* * *

 **A/N: I'm so sorry it's not Monday! I completely spaced! And I realise this chapter is shorter than usual, and it doesn't really tell us much, but I just wanted to construct the social hierarchy of the pack and the tribe. Because I fucked up with the Monday update, I'll update again tomorrow. I feel shitty, guys, sorry!**


	14. Chapter XIV

**Part 2, Chapter XIV** : The chase

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I don't own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _Love it's hard, I know_  
 _All your lights are red, but I'm green to go_  
 _Used to see you high, now you're only low_  
 _All your lights are red but I'm green to go_

 _I want you_  
 _I'll colour me blue_  
 _Anything it takes to make you stay_  
 _Only seeing myself_  
 _When I'm looking up at you_  
 _I want you_  
 _I'll colour me blue_  
 _Anything it takes to make you stay_  
 _Only seeing myself_  
 _When I'm looking up at you_

Troye Sivan ft. Alex Hope - Blue

* * *

 **Previously:**

 **He must have heard the order in my voice, for he didn't resist. He gave me a nod, and I went back to cleaning. I was so mad – so infuriated by my father – that I scrubbed madly at the sheets enough to rip a hole in the cotton. I had been my fathers carer since I was twelve, but time hadn't made it any easier.**

 **It never did.**

* * *

 **JACOB**

I felt him before I heard him.

The indescribable feel of panic, rolled in with an anxiousness I had only ever felt with Seth. The thirteen-year-old pup always carried himself with an unsure eagerness. He wanted so much to be able to everything right, that he often doubted every natural instinct he had.

Seth Clearwater, and his sister Leah, had phased on the same night. Leah had seen Emily and Sam that day, in the supermarket. We had all seen what she had seen, of course; when she had first phased, in the living room of the Clearwater's small home, she had been frantic. And yet beneath the panic, there had been anger. Leah had been angry at what she had seen – the sight of Sam wrapping his arm around the cousin he had left her for was enough to set her off.

And then suddenly, she had become a wolf. It had been so shocking, so completely and utterly unexpected, that Harry Clearwater knelt over and inhaled his last breath. I could remember the scene that I had found when I had ran to the Clearwater house. Sue had been screaming. Leah had been hysterical. And Seth … well, Seth watched it all before phasing himself.

That had been in January.

He didn't take to the phase as harshly as Leah had, but it wasn't like turning into a giant animal didn't have an affect on you. Seth had been our youngest, until Brady and Collin came around. And as the youngest, he was the most uncomfortable with his position in the pack. He didn't let on, but it wasn't too hard to see.

"JAKE?"

The sound of a panicked screech caught me off guard, and forced my head upwards – smacking in to the car hood. "Fuck," I swore, before I looked back to where the voice was coming from.

Seth tumbled through my garage, his thirteen year old face contorted in panic. "What's wrong?"

"It's Old Mrs. Ateara," He said, consumed by panic. I sometimes forgot he was thirteen, but in these moments, it became painfully obvious. "She's collapsed."

It took us five minutes to make it to the Ateara property. It was a lone house, surrounded by the woods and the sea. It sat atop the cliffs; dominated by the smell of sea salt and pine. It was an old house, having been built of the time of the last pack, and it had been passed down the generations. Old Quil had lived here since here he was a boy, and it had been the place he raised his family with his wife.

Molly Swan.

We called her Old Mrs Ateara, so I had forgotten that Molly was a Swan. I think most of the people on the tribe had, but I guess that's why Charlie had always been welcome on the reservation. Dad had always called him an honorary member of the tribe, and I had always wondered why; it wasn't exactly like the people around here were that welcoming of pale faces.

But it hit me, then, that Charlie was tribe. Or he had been.

Through Old Mrs Ateara.

Seth and I burst through the door, the sight of the wooden cabin filled with people. Sue stood over the lazy boy that you could often find Old Quil sitting in, talking quietly to Mrs Ateara, as if to reassure her.

"How is she?" I asked, looking to Quil.

"Not good, Chief," Quil murmured, shaking his head.

I winced, annoyed that Quil was referring to me by my technical title. I was fifteen fucking years old. I shouldn't be Chief. But tradition called for the Alpha of a Quileute pack to be Chief of the tribe. I would officially be Chief when I turned eighteen; my father still held the title, but unofficially I was already the leader of the tribe.

"How not good?" I questioned, cocking a brow.

"Her heartbeat is too slow," He said. "Can you hear it?"

"Barely," I said, before crossing to kneel before her. "Mrs Ateara, how are you feeling?"

"Like death has come," She murmured, opening her eyes for two brown eyes to peak through. Swan eyes. "Chief Black, I am honored."

Molly Swan was of the old generation. She was of the generation where being Chief actually meant something. It meant something more than hereditary bullshit and she respected it, wholeheartedly. When I had become Alpha, Molly Swan had called me to her home and had given me blessings. Like she, offerings and blessings were of the old generation and few still gave them anymore.

La Push had grown with the times – losing more and more of the traditions it once held dear. Dad had told me to cherish the giving's of those of the old generation; for they would be the last time I would receive them. Molly was nearing 70 – Old Quil had been younger than her when they had fallen in love.

She had been a beautiful woman, and she still was. Despite age, you could still see why Old Quil had fallen for her. Her chocolate eyes reminded me so much of Bella's, while her skin was the same russet color as most of the tribes, maybe even a tone lighter. When she was younger, her hair had been raven and long – always twisted into a braid.

I had known her my entire life. Old Quil and Molly were my mothers Aunt and Uncle, and so they were mine. Molly had always been in the background, whether she was tutoring me on the legends of our tribe or whether she was helping my father organize my mother's funeral. Molly had been a second grandmother to me, and now she dying.

"Aunt Molly," I murmured, my hand grasping hers. "Do you want to go the hospital?"

I knew what she would say, of course I did.

"Hítkwolli. Yapótalli. Tixwáli," She said, her weathered skin pulling together in a smile as she grasped my hand. "Don't worry for me, young Chief. The spirits are calling me, and who am I to refuse?"

"Ah, Moll, stop being a martyr," Old Quil said, rolling his eyes. "The spirits can wait another day."

"Eh!" She said, waving her hand. "Hísta lab."

I laughed, shaking my head at the woman's Quileute. "I don't think the spirits will be taking you today, Aunt Molly."

"Maybe even a few more weeks," Sue said, her hand coming to rest on the older woman's shoulder. "She's a tough one."

"Of course she is," I said, smiling. "She always has been."

Molly giggled and she put her thumb on my forehead before I stood. Uttering a prayer of goodwill to spirits, I felt the weight in her blessing before I stood. I glanced at Sue, my concern for my old Aunt weighing heavily on me. "Sue."

Sue pulled me aside, and into the kitchen – the smell of spice and herbs filling the room. "Tell me the truth – should she go to the hospital?"

"Her heart is weak, and her breathing is shallow. If I stay the night, and monitor her, she should be fine here," Sue murmured, before she rubbed her chest. "Mrs. Ateara will not go to the hospital – not when she knows a Cold One works there."

"We can't just let her die," I said, shaking my head. "If- if a Doctor could do something, shouldn't we at least … try?"

"The Doctors will say the same thing, Jacob - she is an old lady has smoked since she was fourteen. Her lungs are damaged, and her heart is extremely weak," Sue explained. "She might have a murmur, or need a new valve – either way, Mrs. Ateara will not let us take her to the hospital or to Forks."

"Are you okay for staying the night here?" I asked, and Sue nodded.

"Of course," Sue said with a nod.

"And what about getting back tomorrow?" I asked. "I can get one of the boys to come get you. I think there's gonna be a storm tomorrow."

"Oh, Jacob, for goodness sakes, I'm not incompetent," Sue said with a roll of her eyes. Very Leah. "And the weather is fine for tomorrow. They said light rain-"

"Sue," I cut her off. "I'm a wolf, remember? Trust me when I say there's going to be a storm."

"Okay," Sue said. "Well, you know what that means."

I nodded. "I'll get the guys on to relocating some of the Cliffside houses. Paul was saying the other day that a lot of the places got damaged in the last big storm. Are you okay with a few people staying at yours?"

"Of course," Sue said, nodding. "Call me with the names."

XXX

The storm came in quickly.

La Push was battered, and the cliffs took the hardest hit. We spent most of the day getting the older inhabitants of La Push to houses more inland. It was something we had to do with each storm; the roads became too overrun by fallen trees, and the forest became flooded with mud and uneven ground. It was too dangerous for those that lived Cliffside to not be inland, just in case something happened.

Storms were always the worst for us.

Patrolling, the rain swept away any scent of vampires. That was the cover storms gave leech's; it gave them protection, and a clean trail. Which is why it meant that during storms, we had to be on alert. I could hear the sound of Jared, and Paul in the back of my mind, bickering about something. Quil and Seth were buzzing as well, arguing about star wars or some bullshit like that.

Bella was pacing.

I knew that I was acting like some sort of stalker, I couldn't help it. I had taken patrol her tonight, mainly because the thought of being anywhere else when there was a storm was unnerving. Her scent had once saturated the back yard, but it had been washed away by the rain.

I hadn't seen her since I had kissed her.

I could still taste her lips, and feel her in my arms. I could still hear the whimpers she let out when I bit her lip. I could still feel the warmth she filled me with, and it _burned._

She was talking to her Mom on the phone; assuring her that she wanted to spend Christmas alone. But I could tell as I saw her twist a curl around her fingers, and bit her lip, that she was lying to her mother. I didn't know much about Bella's mother, only that she had left Forks, and had taken Bella with her.

Charlie hadn't spoken about it very often, but when her name was brought up, you could see that his love for Renee burned. My Mom had once been friends with Renee, but she would never talk about her. On the odd occasion Mom would talk about Renee Swan, she would talk about her with a smile.

Bella sighed as she tried to diffuse her mother's worried tone on the phone, shaking her head as she sat down on her bed. She looked out the window, watching as the rain hit the window. Even with the distance, I could see her wide chocolate orbs, glittering beneath the light of her room.

 _Hey, Jake, pull the tampon out of your pussy when you phase back, okay? It's getting hard to be phased with you,_ Paul sneered, and I growled.

 _Shut the fuck up, Paul,_ I snapped, before I the scent of vinegar filtered through the bond. _Paul?_

 _It's going to be a long night, boys,_ Paul said, before he howled. I followed suit, howling so loud that I hoped everyone woke up. If it was the nomads, we needed everyone phased.

And then the chase was on.

It was the one with dreads that Paul had caught heads of. He wasn't as smart as the red head, but he was quick. Bounding off trees, he swerved through the forest – four wolves on his heels and more coming. Jared was frantically snapping at the leech's heels.

I could hear Collin and Embry as soon as they phased, and I ordered them to come to Bella's immediately. It took three and a half minute before I could hear the sound of their paws against the dirt. I took off, my nose burning as the fresh trail was being washed away by the pounding rain.

I could see the leech border the treaty line, bouncing back and forth.

 _Fucker is testing us,_ Jared snapped.

 _He knows about the treaty line,_ Paul surmised.

 _Is he friends with the Cullens then?_

 _Those fuckers,_ I snapped, pushing myself further. _Kill him. Kill him **now.**_

 _On it,_ Paul thought, before he grabbed the leech's leg with his jaws – snapping it from the kneecap.

 _Yes_ , I thought, the satisfaction from Pauls' achievement flooding through the bond and filling everyone with adrenaline. It pumped through us as the leech let out a cry, and pushed himself up and into the tree. _Get him down, and get me his head._

 _With pleasure, boss,_ Jared thought, jumping up the tree and pulling him down by the other leg.

I got there as Jared pulled the leech's head from it's neck with his jaws, and spitting it out. I phased, my hand coming to pick up the leech's head by it's dread.

"Good work, Jared. Anyone got a lighter?"

* * *

 **Translation:**

 _Hítkwolli. Yapótalli. Tixwáli =_ I'm sick. I'm tired. I'm going home (home being related to passing over)

 _Hísta lab = Give me a drink_

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **"Hey, if you can lie I can lie," She said with a shrug. "And it's not like I've phased with you in a while – I haven't been able to see into your twisted mind since …"**

 **"Leah," I warned her, not wanting to have this conversation here, on Christmas Eve while my pack was eating inside. I didn't need this now. Not now.**

 **"What?" She asked, her eyes wide. "We just can't talk about what happened, now? She was my cousin, you know."**

* * *

 **A/N: :)**


	15. Chapter XV

**Part 2, Chapter XV** : Christmas Eve

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I don't own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

* * *

Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

* * *

 _The sun sets longer  
Where I am from_  
 _Where dreams go to die  
While having fun_  
 _The boys fix their cars and  
Girls eat it up  
Loving's so good when  
Love is young_

 _Yeah, there's so much history in these streets_  
 _And mama's good eats_  
 _Oh Wonder on repeat_  
 _There's so much history in my head  
The people I've left_

 _The ones that I've kept_

Troye Sivan - SUBURBIA

* * *

 **Previously:**

 ** _With pleasure, boss,_ Jared thought, jumping up the tree and pulling him down by the other leg.**

 **I got there as Jared pulled the leech's head from it's neck with his jaws, and spitting it out. I phased, my hand coming to pick up the leech's head by it's dread.**

 **"Good work, Jared. Anyone got a lighter?"**

* * *

 **JACOB**

"Merry Christmas, boss."

"You don't have to call me boss, Quil," I said with a sigh, before shaking my head. "It's not even Christmas yet."

"Close enough," He said with a grin. "So, what's Sue got cooking?"

I shrugged, leaning against the wall. "Something good."

"I can smell," Quil said. "Are you gonna go in?"

I looked to the house, where Sue was holed up and making a feast that could feed the entire pack. I shook my head, knowing how annoying the boys could be. Sue didn't need more than there was already in there, so I stayed put. Quil, on the other hand, bowled through the door and headed straight to the kitchen. Idiot.

"Are you hiding out here as well?"

I sighed at the sound of her voice – the one I had come to avoid over the past few months. Leah had been a mess after the events of June, and up until now, I had managed to avoid her as much as possible. I hadn't phased with Leah since that day, when she had told me I was a murderer. I couldn't phase with her, not after that.

And now she had cornered me outside her mother's house. I had learned from prying into the others minds that Leah had been wanting to talk to me for a while, so I had made myself as sparse as I could to avoid it. I didn't want to hear the pain I had caused her by doing what I had done, nor did I want to have to see the consequences of my actions.

"I'm not hiding, Leah," I told her, glancing up at the she wolf of our pack. She had cut her hair since I had last seen; the violent chop making her features sharper. When she became a wolf, that was one of Leah's biggest hang-ups. Her hair. It was so un-Leah to care about her hair, but I guess that was the one thing she was holding on to. Her long hair.

"I'd call sitting behind the house where Mom can't find you as _hiding_ ," Leah snapped back, before she sat next to me – the heat from her body disrupting the cool air.

"I'm just sitting," I responded with a shrug. "There's no crime in sitting."

"No," She agreed, before her brown eyes met mine. "How are you, Jacob?"

"Fine," I said. "You?"

"Fine," She said in the same tone.

"Liar."

"Hey, if you can lie I can lie," She said with a shrug. "And it's not like I've phased with you in a while – I haven't been able to see into your twisted mind since …"

"Leah," I warned her, not wanting to have this conversation here, on Christmas Eve while my pack was eating inside. I didn't need this now. Not now.

"What?" She asked, her eyes wide. "We just can't talk about what happened, now? She was my cousin, you know."

"She was pack," I snapped, feeling annoyance at Leah for bringing it up. "Sorry, Leah."

"Don't be sorry," She mumbled. "Imprinting killed Em – maybe I was lucky Sam skipped out on me."

"Imprinting didn't kill her," I said unsurely, and she scoffed.

"'It blinded Sam'," She repeated one of my thoughts. "Oh, don't' act like you're surprised I know what you think. Just because you haven't put me on patrol with you since …. then doesn't mean the others haven't been prodding around in that fuckshow of a brain you have."

"Who tattled?" I asked, wondering if it was Quil. Probably Paul, actually.

"Guess."

"Paul?" I questioned.

"Nice try," She laughed. "It was Embry."

"Of course it was," I said with a roll of my eyes, before I looked at Leah. I hadn't paid much attention to the woman of our pack since that day, when she had called me a murderer. I couldn't. But instead of the rattled, grief struck mess she had been that day, she was … different. She looked lighter – healthier. "You're sounding … better."

She rolled her eyes. "It's been seven months, Jake. What do you expect? Me to break down anytime I think about Sam or Emily?"

"Yes," I said, honest. "What I did was enough to make anyone break down, Leah. I know what the others think of me. Of what I did."

"It had to be done," She bit out, but even she seemed to not believe her words. "But you're Alpha. So you had to do it."

"You hated me," I reminded her, remembering what she had thought of me. "After. I remember you hated me."

"For a minute," She admitted, meeting my eyes. "And then I remembered what Sam had done. What happened wasn't your fault, Jake. Sure, what you had to do was fucked up, but we've all done fucked up things. Shit, I've nearly killed Paul three times now. My own pack mate."

"Two of those times he deserved it," I tried, weakly, to joke.

She gave me a look. "Is that a pathetic attempt at a joke?"

"It was."

"Listen, I'm not here to lecture you," She said, exasperated. "Or give you some sort of shitty ass pep talk that includes Bella Swan. I don't like imprinting – fuck, I _hate_ imprinting. It fucked up Sam, and Emily, and me, but- but that doesn't mean it's not meant for something. Look at Jared-"

I sighed, cutting her off. "It's different-"

"It's _not._ Jared is Beta – even if he's not Alpha, he still holds considerable power and he isn't- he's not blinded by her like Sam was. He's … balanced. Maybe that's what your wolf needs, Jake. Balance."

"Leah-"

"Listen, do you think I wanted to come out here and chat about girls? I was put up to it because Jared and Embry are sexist motherfuckers who think that just because I have a vagina automatically means I'm the guru of love."

I snorted. "'Leah: guru of love'."

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Jacob," She snapped, shaking her head. "I'm sorry, you know. About everything."

"It's a bit late for apologies, Leah."

"No, I know," She murmured, meeting my eyes. "I just hate what it's done to us. To everyone."

I nodded, rubbing the back of my neck. "I forget sometimes that I'm not the only person at my pity party for my fucked up existence."

"I think we all do," Leah admitted. "But seriously, I'm sorry for what we made you do."

"You didn't make me do anything, Leah," I said, kicking the dirt. "I became Alpha as soon as Sam- as soon as Emily was attacked. I had to step up."

"You're not even sixteen yet, Jake," Leah exclaimed, looking to the sky. "When I was sixteen, the only thing I was worried about was when my acne would stop. You don't deserve this."

"No one does."

Leah smirked. "Not even Paul?"

"No," I said. "Say what you want about the guy, but he never deserved this. He was already getting beat by his Dad every day and then he had to get fucked over by his genetics?"

"He's still a dick though," Leah snorted.

I nodded. "Yeah."

We sat in silence for a moment, before Leah looked to me. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"About what?"

"Like you don't know," She said, rolling her eyes. "Bella fucking Swan."

"I don't know," I told her. "I really don't know."

"Jacob," She began, "doing something for yourself isn't a crime, you know. You're a good Alpha – better than Sam, that's for sure. You don't need to be alone in this fucked up monstrosity that is our life. The spirits chose Bella for you-"

"The spirits fucked up our lives," I snapped. "Why should I _ever_ trust their judgment?"

"Didn't ever peg you for an atheist, Jake," Leah drawled. "Or are you a Satanist?"

I ignored her. "I won't drag her into this,"

"Maybe you should ask her before making the choice for her, Jacob," Leah told me, her foot doing circles in the dirt. "You're doing to her just what the spirits did to you. If she is destined for you, then you're destined for her. I don't like the spirits, Jake, but you don't fuck with them."

"They chose Emily for Sam," I pointed out, knowing what she thought of them. "Look where that got them."

"They chose Emily for Sam because Sam was never destined to be the Alpha. It was sheer luck that Sam phased first – fuck, he was never meant to be a leader. I loved the guy- shit, I still do, and I know that. What happened was an accident. It was a stupid, fucking accident."

"You still love him?" I asked, shocked.

"That's all you got from that?" Leah laughed. "Yes, I still love him. Even if he dumped me on my ass for Emily."

I stared at her, confused. "How can you love him? After what he did?"

"Don't talk about him as if he was evil," Leah snapped. "He wasn't. Sam was good. He was a good guy. He was silly, and caring, and gentle, for me. When we were together, Sam was everything I ever wanted. He made a mistake, and it got Emily killed – he paid the price for his stupidity."

I shook my head, leaning back against the house. "I didn't realize you still loved him."

"You would have known if you actually patrolled with me every once in a while," Leah pointed out, a smile on her lips.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't act like I didn't have reason to not shift with you, Leah."

"I know," She replied, her face flushing with guilt. "I know. I was unreasonable after they died. But can you blame me?"

"I never blamed you, Leah," I told her. "I understood."

"See, this is the shit that you shouldn't have to deal with, Jake. You're fifteen. Fifteen, and you understood that I hated you. I wanted you dead, and you- you _understood_!" She ranted. "It's ridiculous, Jake, do you realize that? It's so fucking ridiculous."

"I know," And I did. I truly did. "Believe me."

Leah bit her lip, reminding me of Bella for a second, before I almost laughed at the comparison. Leah was so far from Bella that the two shouldn't even be in the same science together.

"Listen, Jake," She began. "I'm not gonna tell you what to do. All I know is that if Bella Swan is destined for you, well, don't you think that you're destined for Bella? Destiny doesn't wait, Jake. You can't stop it. Billy- your dad thinks that imprinting is something more than baby making and if anything, you imprinting on a Hokwat proves that. I loved Sam, but we weren't good for each other. We probably would have broken up, or we would have gotten married and would have just drove each other nuts."

"Are you telling me that you believe in soul mates?" I asked, glancing at her.

Leah punched my shoulder. "Fuck off, Jake. I'm trying to help you here. Look, all I'm trying to say is that maybe you shouldn't push her away, Jake. We have two more wolves now – we can protect her."

"We should have been able to protect Emily," I mumbled, meeting her eyes. "Those nomads are still out there."

"They're cunts, Jake," Leah said, shrugging. "They're playing with us. You heard what Dr Fang said-"

"Fuck, Leah, I don't want to talk about this right now," I groaned, standing. "Listen, it's Christmas Eve. Go celebrate with your family – have fun."

"Jake-"

"Leah," I warned, my eyes narrowing as the wolf in my snapped at her. I had had enough. "I'm done. Take what I'm giving you with a smile – I'm giving you a day off. I'll talk to you after the holidays are done."

Leah laughed, almost hysterical. "We're wolves, Jake. We don't take breaks for the holidays. The leech's aren't going to respect our Christmas break."

"Bye, Leah."

"Goodbye, oh great Alpha."

I ran back to my house, the red of the house I had grown up in peeking through the trees as I ran towards it. Phasing, I threw on my shorts and began the walk to the house. It had been a long time since I had had the house to myself. As the house of the Alpha, it was a place for the wolves to crash. It ceased to be my house from the moment I had accepted the position of Alpha.

When Sam had been Alpha, we had gone to his house. There had always been muffins laid out on the table, and a smile from Emily, welcoming us into the home she had made with Jake. When Emily was there, it was almost normal; we could almost pretend that we were just hanging out after a shift at work.

All façade of normality was thrown out the window the moment Em was bitten.

I stared at my house, before I felt the rotting guilt build in the depths of my stomach. I phased out, and began my run to the one place I avoided above all else. The cliff on the far side of La Push was where we chose to burry Sam. It had been his favorite place.

Phasing, I threw on my cut offs and looked down at the piece of log we had placed over his grave. In the dead of the night, the night of Emily's funeral, Sam Uley blew his head off with his fathers gun. And in the dead of the night, we had buried him. It probably would have been easier to let someone find him, and report it to the police. But we had been distraught.

Our former Alpha had killed himself.

He had begged for death when Emily had been bitten, but I hadn't given it to him. I had refused. I had told him then that he was still pack. Emily was lost to us the moment she had been bitten, but Sam – Sam was still alive. He had made a mistake, and it had cost him Emily's life, but he was still family.

"Hey, Sam."

I felt my throat tighten as I knelt next to the log, my hands going to the ground where Sam was buried. Emily had been buried in Neah Bay, where her family lived, but if she had had the choice, she would have been buried here, on this cliff. This place was their place. They had planned to get married on this Cliffside.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here for a while," I whispered, before I felt the tears on my cheeks. "Merry Christmas."

I sat there for an hour, feeling the wind against my skin and the sea salt in the air. I sighed, phasing back. And almost immediately, I was hit by voices.

 _Jake, you need to get to your house right now. Bella Swan is coming. Now._

* * *

 **Preview:**

 **She blew into my front yard like a storm.**

 **Yelling, with rage tattooed on her face, she pressed her tiny hands into my chest and gave a shove. Her nose was scrunched up as anger consumed her, and her cheeks flushed against the cold of the December air. Her hands were warm against my scorching chest, if that was even possible. I hadn't felt warmth for so long, since I always ran warm it had become norm. Everything was cold to me. Except her. Warm, beautiful, and spitting with fury.**

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 **A/N: I won't be updating on Friday because, duh, it's Christmas! I'll either update on the Thursday, or on the Monday. I would love to get to 200 reviews, it's so close so if you want to do that, I would get the chapter up ASAP! But no pressure! Enjoy guys.**


	16. Chapter XVI

**Part 2, Chapter XVI** : Storms

 **Disclaimer** : I like to play pretend in the house Stephanie Meyer created but I really like to do renovations because I don't particularly like the finishes or the majority of the house (is that a witty enough way to say I don't own shit and think that the Twilight Universe has promise? Yeah, I think so).

 **Warning** : This story contains Adult Content. Beware.

 **Summary** : Charlie Swan went missing on the 12th of November 2005. They found no blood, and no body but the police had stopped looking. That's why I was coming back to Forks. I had to find my father. Follow Bella in this dark exploration of what the Twilight Universe could be when faced with the reality of wolves pretending to be boys, and monsters pretending to be high school students.

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Missing Youth

by: brbbbe (Emily)

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 _I've been walking in the same way as I did_

 _Missing out the cracks in the pavement_

 _And tutting my heel and strutting my feet_

 _"Is there anything I can do for you dear? Is there anyone I could call?"_

 _"No and thank you, please Madam. I ain't lost, just wandering."_

 _Round my hometown_

 _Memories are fresh_

 _Round my hometown_

 _Ooh the people I've met_

 _Are the wonders of my world_

 _Are the wonders of my world_

 _Are the wonders of this world_

 _Are the wonders of my world_

Adele - Hometown Glory

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 **Previously:**

 **"I'm sorry I haven't been here for a while," I whispered, before I felt the tears on my cheeks. "Merry Christmas."**

 **I sat there for an hour, feeling the wind against my skin and the sea salt in the air. I sighed, phasing back. And almost immediately, I was hit by voices.**

 ** _Jake, you need to get to your house right now. Bella Swan is coming. Now._**

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 **JACOB**

She blew into my front yard like a storm.

Yelling, with rage tattooed on her face, she pressed her tiny hands into my chest and gave a shove. Her nose was scrunched up as anger consumed her, and her cheeks flushed against the cold of the December air. Her hands were warm against my scorching chest, if that was even possible. I hadn't felt warmth for so long, since I always ran warm it had become norm. Everything was cold to me. Except her. Warm, beautiful, and spitting with fury.

"You've got a _minute_ to tell me what happened to my Dad," She snarled, her hands digging into my pecs.

I heard one of the guys ask me something, but I couldn't take my eyes off her. It was always like this when I first saw. The … awe was something I couldn't turn off. I wish I could, so I at least could act normally around her instead of the slack jawed fucker I was. But I couldn't stop it; to feel her presence next to me where it belonged, _hurt_.

What I felt for her burned through me like a fire. It wasn't like the pain of the phase, or even the heat my skin generated. It was something else, completely. Her touch was fire to my skin, and her voice was gasoline to the scorching fire she created. I wanted nothing more than to place my hand over hers, and feel her warmth, properly. But I knew that nothing good could ever come from that.

"Get rid of me?" Bella asked, her eyes on Paul. "Is that what you did to my Dad, Jacob? Is that what Sam did to Emily?"

I closed my eyes. _No._ I hadn't ever wanted Bella to find out. My darkest secret – the one I had kept from my own mind for so long – was now known by my imprint. She was too gentle for this life; she didn't need to be involved. Vampires, and werewolves, and death – Bella didn't deserve that. Bella deserved College, and normalcy, and a boyfriend who wouldn't kill her if he got too angry. Bella deserved more than a pill addicted high school drop out from the Rez.

"You don't know what the fuck you're talking about, little girl," Paul snarled – his face twisting in anger.

She laughed, and side stepped me – her hands leaving my chest. The wolf whined, even though the only reason her hands were on me was because she was angry with me. But even then, the wolf within mourned the loss – yelping at the loss of his mate. My mate.

"I think I do, jackass. I paid a visit to Joshua Uley this morning," Bella said, so proud, and so defiant.

"You did _what_?" I snarled, grabbing her arm and pulling her in front of me. She had risked her safety – and her sanity – by seeing that drunk? How the hell had she even found the fucker?

She looked me straight in the eye, her anger and defiance radiating from her. "You weren't telling me shit, and I told you I wasn't going to give up-"

"So you visited an old drunk," I said, shaking my head. "A man whose liver started failing a year ago and who hides out on the Makah Rez because he's too scared of us to come back here? What did he tell you Bella? Did he tell you about our legends? Or did you question him about them?"

She looked at me like she hated me. She looked at me like she hated every word I said, and dreaded every moment she had to spend near me. She should. She should hate me after what I had done. Maybe if she hated me, getting her to stay away would be easier.

My wolf cried out at the thought.

"Just tell me what happened to my Dad, Jacob," She spat, before her expression softened into desperation " _Please_."

I wanted to tell her. I wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to purge myself of every second I had kept for the past two years. I wanted to tell her that I was a wolf; an animal. I wanted to tell her about Sam, and Emily. I wanted to tell her how I couldn't speak for a week after what I had done to Emily. I wanted to tell how I found Sam, a hole in his mutilated face and skull fragments stuck in the oak bench top where Emily once made us muffins.

I wanted to tell her about Charlie. I wanted to sob in her arms, and admit my mistake. I wanted to tell how about my fear – about how I couldn't sleep, or how I couldn't even function. I wanted to tell her everything; every secret divulged. I wanted to tell her about what she was to me, and what she could be. I wanted to tell her _everything._

But I knew that if I told her, she would never want to be near me again. Bella would run as far as she could from the murderer who was destined to be with her. I covered her hands, relishing in the feel of her small, ivory hands in mine before I pushed her away.

"You don't want me near you," Bella said, her face alighting in realization, "because you don't want to hurt me. You said yourself that you didn't want me to be like … to be like Emily. You don't want to hurt me, Jacob."

I flinched. No. No we couldn't be having this conversation. "You'll _never_ be like Emily."

"Because you won't hurt me, right?" She questioned. I could feel her heart, thudding against her chest as she looked at me. It was racing, whether it be from anxiety or fear, I didn't know. But the sound anchored me, just like gravity. "Like you hurt my Dad? Like you hurt Emily?"

"We _saved_ Emily," Paul snarled, offended. "She was dying anyways."

 _No,_ I wanted to scream. He had said too much – he had said way too much. I shot Paul a look, clenching my fists to hide my trembling.

"So you did kill her?" Bella asked, almost hysterical.

"Paul!" I bellowed, the anger consuming me. _Thud, thud, thud._ Bella's heartbeat, and her closeness, stopped me from phasing on the spot. I felt the Alpha within me snarl at Paul's lack of obedience, to his Alpha and to his tribe. " **Do not say another word.** "

"No, no, Paul, you keep talking," Bella said, stepping away from me. "Did you decapitate her, then, Paul? Were you the one who tore her head off?"

"Bella-" I began, before she cut me off.

"I need answers. I need answers _now._ You can tell me, Paul. Tell me what you did to Emily Young."

I heard the sound of my fathers wheelchair scraping against the wood of the ramp before I saw him. He sat, his gaze hard as he spoke to Bella.

"That's enough, Bella."

She turned at the sound of my fathers voice, her anger coming off her in waves and her heart beating faster. "Enough? I haven't even started."

And just like that, like a tsunami released, the other pack members began echoing Dad's sentiments.

"Bella, you need to leave."

"Yeah, Bella. Just go."

"It's not safe for you, Bella. Go home."

I stayed silent. She turned back to me, but I couldn't look at her. I wouldn't. "You're not even going to look at me, then?"

I inhaled, trying to keep my breathing steady as I let out a shuddering breath of nervousness. "You need to leave, Bella."

And then, before I knew what was happening, her small hand had wrapped around my chin and yanked my head up.

Chocolate eyes met charcoal, russet met ivory, wolf met swan and fire met snow. We were opposites, in everything; temperament, coloring, pasts and futures. We shouldn't have belonged together, but even with her touch, I knew that she was mine and I hers.

"I hate you," She spat, and I felt every happiness within me implode.

She hated me. She hated me. She hated me.

She hates me.

She hates me.

"Jake? Jacob! _Jacob_? What's _wrong_ with him?"

I could hear Bella screaming as I collapsed in front of her, my wolf crumbling as the words reverberated in my mind. She hates me. She hates me. My imprint hates me. She hates me. Why wouldn't she? I was a murderer, an animal. She should hate me. I hate me.

She hates me.

She hates me.

"You never should have come here," Paul roared as I felt Jared's hand coming to my shoulder, pulling me from my knees.

"Hey, you're okay, man, you're okay," Jared whispered, his voice low as he shook me. "She doesn't mean it, Jakey, she doesn't mean it."

She hates me.

She hates me.

"You keep telling me that, but unless someone gives me an explanation about how you _monsters_ killed Emily Young, then I'm not leaving."

"Monsters?" Paul questioned. "I'll give you monsters, little girl."

It all happened so fast.

Bella was standing too close, and Paul was too angry. No. No, she couldn't be Emily. No, no, no.

Paul was shaking violently as I threw Bella from him, and phased mid step. The wolf in me snapped at Paul, grabbing him by a half phased arm and throwing him into the house. He had endangered my imprint – he had lost control, and had endangered Bella. He had nearly hurt her. My imprint. My Bella.

My paw tore into Paul's belly, blood spilling onto the snow. I heard his cry as I tore into his skin, my vision consumed by the anger that I felt at my pack mate. He knew that imprints were sacred; they couldn't be harmed.

 _I'm sorry, Jake,_ Paul's voice infiltrated my mind as soon as he phased, his pain so potent that I could barely think straight.

 _Sorry? You could have killed her_ , I roared, before my jaws locked down on Pauls' hide. _Who the fuck do you think you are?_

 _Jake, I just lost it for a second,_ Paul said as I snapped at him, my jaws feral.

 _A second could have cost her life,_ I snapped again, so consumed by anger. _She is **mine.** Do you understand? She is your Alpha's imprint. She is pack. What the fuck were you thinking? _

_I'm sorry, Jake. I just got so angry,_ Paul said as I flipped him onto his back, standing over him. _I won't fight you, Jake. I'm sorry."_

"Jake!"

I heard Leah's force penetrate my red haze of anger, my head turning to see her grasping my Bella, who was watching the scene before her with a face paler than the snow and wide eyes. She was looking at me, her horror almost potent in the air as she trembled. I could feel her fear from here, and it rocketed through me just like my need for her.

It _burned._

She hates me.

She hates me.

"Phase back," Leah instructed, her eyes going to where Bella was. "We'll take her in the house, get her calmed down."

"Guess the wolfs out of the bag now."

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 **Preview:**

 **Leah was speaking to her softly when I walked in.**

 **The last time my house smelt like Bella was when we had kissed. And now, it was saturated with it. She was sitting on my couch, her petite frame hunched over herself as she talked. Her question were frantic, and fast, and with each second passed she was becoming more, and more impatient.**

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 **A/N: I'm so sorry for being gone! Christmas and New Year were busier than I expected and I was just extremely lazy! I know it's short, but I'll update again on Friday!**


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